Archive for April, 2011

April 14th, 2011

How to Invite More Possibility and Synchronicity in Your Life

{flickr photo by: steve9567}

Spring is Here and So is Hope

Things feel like they are finally falling into place.

The storm has settled and every fallen leaf and flower have been stored, tucked neatly away.

In my life, I’ve been seeing synchronicities left and right.

  • I talked about one dream today (to be a coach!) and then got an email a few hours later inviting me to take a free course on it.
  • I wrote a post on how not to screw up a phone interview here and received an email on a Brazen Careerist about how to Ace the Phone Interview.
  • I have been thinking about how much I need to work on my elevator speech and I got a free book to review on elevator speeches.
  • And I recently read about New Mexico as a great place for a writer’s retreat and now I can’t stop hearing about it.

Either people are getting good at reading my mind or something else is happening.

The Close You Get to Following Your Own Inner Voice, the More Successful You Will Be

On Twitter today, I wrote: “I’m learning more and more that every one has their own individual path. The more closer you adhere to yours, the closer you are to success.”

Your voice. That inner wise soul that lives inside of you. That’s your key to success, to finding and following your calling.

When you listen to what’s in your heart, (the quiet thought that says to not take that job or to start painting) and you begin to really listen to it, things will to start connecting and falling in place.

It’s as if once you make a choice to _______ (follow your dreams, end a relationship, start a new on, become self-employed, etc.), everything in the universe will begin to start lining up toward that goal.

Be in a place of hope, possibility-that your dreams can really be a reality and you will eventually find that they will come true.

Of course, it takes time.

Have Patience Like the Falling Leaf

I’ve been taking an essay course. And in it, the teacher said, “Don’t rush the process.” It’s a good lesson on almost anything we really want in life. Just as you cannot force a leaf or a feather to fall faster, you cannot speed up the process of your journey. You will get there faster if you listen to your voice. But you still need to go through the hard stuff to get there.

Wishing you hope, love, peace and possibility on your journey…

April 12th, 2011

Should You Count Your Lucky Stars or Work Hard to Achieve Success?

{flickr photo by: fearthekumquat}

How Important is Luck in Success

Social media expert and writer friend Danielle McGaw posted a seemingly benign, but surprisingly provocative topic in her post Don’t Call Me Lucky. Is luck a factor in success? She didn’t think so and nor did many of her commenters.

I had to scratch my head and ponder awhile on this one.

While luck has a lot of negative connotations to it (as in your hard work is due to chance), there is also something beautiful and inspiring about it too.

Sure, hard work has a BIG place in someone’s success. It is usually mandatory, in fact. But there has to be other things that come in play, factors unknown to us that wields its ways in our lives.

Young House Love’s Sherry Petersik on Luck

In my interview with famous blogger Sherry Petersik of YoungHouseLove, a blog that reaches thousands of visitors daily with about 17,000 fans and appearances in numerous magazines not to mention the Nate Berkus Show, she claimed luck as one of the factors in their success.

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”We have definitely had a series of lucky breaks to end up where we are today in the blog world, and for that we’re eternally thankful. We never solicited these mentions, people found us and liked what they saw- which is truly amazing and we still pinch ourselves when we think about it!”

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Okay, maybe they are just being modest.

But there is something beautiful to me at least, about being grateful to the mystifying abyss of the unknown. The part of life whether we call it God, divine, spirit, etc. that may play a part in luck. And the belief that we are 100% responsible for all the good things in our lives doesn’t feel right to me.

The problem with the word “luck” is that it can apply to very different things from having a “lucky dog” to being “lucky at the slot machines.” I really don’t think most people would argue that some luck is involved in Vegas.


But in every situation, can there be a little luck involved?

These are just musings. I wanted more evidence to uncover the truth about luck. So I did some research.

Here is some pearls of wisdom I gleaned from meta-analysis report, “Luck’s Role in Business Success: Why It’s Too Important to Leave to Chance.”

Luck is neither a simple nor singular concept. There are definitional and conditional issues involved in defining and explaining luck.” – John Hafer, Ph.D & George G. Gresham, Ph.D.

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The report looks a variety of past studies and has this to say about luck:

1. The more control you have, the less likely it’s luck. Although lack of control does not automatically equal luck (say in the case of winning the lottery), it “may be a determinant of the degree of luck involved.”

2. Nothing is completely in our control. That would mean that every situation and action involves a bit of luck on some level.

3. We remember success as attributed to hard work and failure to bad luck. Doing so, helps us maintain our self-esteem. It is also based on the belief that luck is something saved for a few and “other people run out of.”

4. Luck is dependent on whether we have an internal or external locus of control. People with internal locus of control believe that they are in control and responsible for their own success and behaviors and consequently are less likely than those with external local of control to equate success with luck. {People with an external locus of control believe external situations and circumstances control their situation.}

5. Luck & Success. There is some luck involved in success. In a 2004 report on strategic management, they found that while effort is important in professional excellence, “luck may indeed play a role in success break.”

Guess in the end, we were all right. Life’s a little bit about luck and a lot about hard work. It’s just how you look at it.

Basically, researchers have no real way of measuring luck. But whenever events are out of control, they are labeled as luck. The best thing to do is to try your hardest with what you have to work with. And to note that there is a big world out there and no matter how hard we work at something, we are never 100% immune to the hands of luck.

Life is 90% hard and 10% faith. Do your best with what’s in your control and then surrender to what is.

How much of success do you think involves luck? Chime in below.

April 8th, 2011

The Dangers of Looking Back

I’m going to ask you a question. And I want you to be as honest as you can.


How much time do you spend looking in the rearview mirror?

Not in your car. But in your life.

Here’s a confession: Lately, I’ve been noticing how much time I spend looking back in my rearview mirror. {This time I’m talking about my car.}

  • Have you ever, for example, drove passed an accident then looked in your mirror to see what’s about to happen next?
  • Or did you ever pause for a sec and turn back to see if that car was really honking at you?

Okay. Maybe it’s just me. But I realized that all that looking back was putting my present life in risk, literally and figuratively.

Then, I saw Oprah’s Master Class Part 2 and heard her talking about what it was like starting a talk show during the talk show craze. And how she decided that instead of looking back at all the new and old hosts who were gaining speed behind her, that she would focus up ahead.

Focusing On Your Success

Just like it’s probably not a good idea to stare at the rear view mirror when driving, it’s also not a good idea to focus on your competition. Oprah said that if she had turned around and paused to look, she might have been distracted by all of the hosts at her heels.

Instead of comparing herself to the competition, she focused on taking her business to the next level. Every time word got out of how Ricki Lake was starting or Sally Jessy Raphael was rising to fame, she worked that much harder, stepping up her game at each production.

This is what we need to do in order to be successful.

Stop turning back to see what other’s are doing. Stop comparing yourself to your competition. Stop analyzing what you did wrong in every situation.

Instead, focus on what more you can do to make your business stand out.

Focus on the present. Focus on what you are doing now that’s working or not working. The more time you spend on your business, the more success you will have.

Focus on what’s not working and make it better. Last year, my querying efforts paid off and I had several publications back to back. This year, I was burnt out and felt I needed to do something different. I took a weekend boot camp and found the information refreshing and I immediately started to get assignments again. Sometimes all you need is to refocus your efforts and find a new perspective. Take a class. Start a group of like-minded folks. Talk to others about what you might need to do to start getting the business you deserve.

It’s in you.

Just stop looking backwards.

April 7th, 2011

Why Failure is a Good Thing

{flickr photo by: ??zeiss66super}

Failure Isn’t an Option

These days I keep hearing people say that, “failure isn’t an option for me.”

They must be talking about permanent failure as in “I quit” versus temporary failure.

Because in the world of pursuing one’s dreams, failure is a requirement.

I have to tell you a story…

Several years ago, I worked for a researcher. He was one of the nicest bosses I ever had. We got along the way Elaine in Seinfeld said about her and Jerry, “like clams.”

To prepare me for an upcoming trip he had, he told me to watch out for a letter that was supposed to arrive when he was gone. He told me it was important, described what to look out for and then went off on his big trip.

While he was away, that letter did come in the mail. But it was in a package that I didn’t recognize.

A few days later I got a scolding of a lifetime.

It was not a good day my friends.

The manager in charge called me into her office. She was livid. She yelled and reminded me that it was “the one thing I was supposed to do” and, “how could I blow it?” The company could have lost millions of dollars because of my error.

I Made a Million Dollar Mistake

I sat there horrified at what I had done. Yes it was bad. Yes I made a HUGE mistake. And yes I acknowledged that I would never do it again.

But then I moved one.

Life went on.

I ended up making one of the biggest failures a person could make.

But it was not the end of the world. My failure did not define me. In fact, I have had a lot more failures (and worse ones!) and successes since then.

It’s all a part of the journey.

Sometimes I need reminding of this.

You might have failed recently and need to be reminded right now too.

Pushing Through Failure

Reading this quote from Callings: Finding an Following an Authentic Life author Gregg Levoy helps put things in perspective for me:

“I was once told that if I’m not failing regularly, I’m living so far below my potential that I’m failing anyway.”

He also quoted poet Rilke and said this:

“the purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.”

If you have failed recently, don’t think of it as an ultimate, lasting defeat. Think of it as a stepping stone toward greater things.

Think that every single obstacle, hurdle, mistake, failure that you’ve made so far is taking you that much closer to your dreams.

It’s not a hunky dory way to deal with mistakes. It is the truth. Just think about how many famous successful people in front of you. Now think about all the dumb mistakes, huge errors and mind-boggling failures they had to get through in order to get to the top.

So what are you waiting for?

Get started on failing now!

April 5th, 2011

Using Envy to Propel Your Life Forward

{flickr photo Sudachi}

Something wonderful happened today. I listened as a friend took fear and rose above it, soaring into the wind of success. As I watched from below and admired her beautiful, new wings, I thought about how high up she was and how much I wanted to fly just like her.

But instead of letting her beauty blind me or make me feel inferior on the ground below, it lifted me up. Like a cloud, I floated toward the unknown and let my own spirit grow.

Why Other People’s Success Hurts

In the shadow of someone’s success, you can easily melt into a puddle of “why not me’s” and sense of inferiority.

Success, when it is not our own, can stir up our own feelings of unsought dreams.

But what I learned is that the reason we feel so bad when other people succeed is that we think success is some unattainable light that we don’t deserve or are incapable of reaching.

When I felt the light of a friend’s success, I moved out of the shadow and bathe in her courage. Her courage encouraged me to face my own fears. And as a result, I too, was successful.

Turning Jealousy Into Your Own Success

I am not immune to feeling sparks of envy every once in awhile. But to me, they are like bread crumbs leading toward my best life.

Once in college, I was supremely jealous of a friend when I found out she moved away and went to a school on the mainland. That jealousy gave me the courage to apply for a transfer to a mainland school. If I didn’t do that, I would not be here, living in California, pursuing my dreams.

You can use your jealousy as energy to propel you forward in your own life, if you listen to it instead of try to avoid it.

The next time you start to feel butterflies when someone you know succeeds, write down what about their success makes you envious. Think about an area in your life that you want to improve. Then, use that energy to propel you forward, turning green with envy into green with success.

April 4th, 2011

Redefining What’s Broken

flickr photo by: mikebogle

Holding On

I have been holding on to one earring.

“Why?” you ask.

Because I love it. Because it was my all-time favorite pair and then I went and lost one side. But unlike other lonely singles that I had donated or tossed in the trash, I couldn’t bare to part with this one. So for months, it sat in my little jewelry bowl sitting by its lonesome.

That is, until the day I finally decided to do something about it. It was much too pretty to be thrown away. And although it was sort of broken without its mate, I decided it was worthy to be displayed again.

After much haggling with it, I turned it into a necklace*.


*Stay tuned for an update on how I DIM (did-it-myself).

Transformation

The process was simple. But it got me thinking about our own broken pieces. And how quick we are to toss them aside, hide them or throw them away.

There is a joy in displaying your broken jewels. Wear them like a badge of honor. Mix them up, find a new angle, learn to take what feels broken and turn them into what makes you strong.

I watched Oprah teacher her Masters Class on OWN the other day and was moved by her words. Years of abuse, abandonment, and a loss of a baby did not destroy her. She was able to transform her feelings of being unworthy into teaching others how to find their own self-worth.

Your Journey

I don’t know what you are going through right now. Only you know that. But I believe that whatever your circumstances, they are there to prepare you for what’s still to come.

Like the chick who has to grow wings before he can fly or the pony that must fall before he can stand, we must all experience our brokenness to understand what it means to be whole.

Keep walking the journey, dear friend. Because you will get there. Pick up your broken pieces and save them. Hold them to your heart. For one day, you will want to treasure them as a symbol of that courageous journey, as a moment that changed you forever.