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Don’t React

So what do we do when we don’t know what to do?  First, stop, take a deep breath and don’t do anything. Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author of Stillness Speaks says to “become at ease with the state of ‘not knowing’.” It is having faith and trusting what you do know in the unknown. Knowing, for example, that the tide will recede, the vast encumbrances of our lives are, what a recent musical called Avenue Q taught me, “only for now.” Sure we may not know if we are making the right decisions or if the better route is to avoid change and stay where we are, but in reality even what we perceive to be stable in our lives, may not be. In all situations, there is an undercurrent of change lurking just beneath the surface. After all, life is hard and requires risk, challenge and especially courage. Instead of finding security in our external world, it’s much more important during times like these to find safety and stability in our selves.

Invite Acceptance and Surrender in Your Life

Learning to accept your situation will help you develop a sense of empowerment over the unknown. You may not know, for example, what the future holds, but being present and focusing on what you can do today, gives you control over your future decisions. In addition, trying to run, avoid, or distance your self from fear, only transforms it into a bigger monster.

Meditate, talk to friends, family or a counselor, and express yourself through art, exercise, and spirituality and in those activities, you will find the space to express not repress your emotions.

Then with time, patience and self-compassion, you will eventually find acceptance in your situation. As Kathy Freston of Quantum Wellness says when we completely accept our situation, the answers will come from Spirit who will guide us to the next step. Once we’ve found a path towards acceptance through activities that heal us such as prayer, meditation, or even a simple walk, we can learn to deal with the situation clearer and on a cognitive level. In Stillness Speaks, Tolle explains that when we accept what we don’t know, we also stop struggling to find answers out of desperation and the end result is that thought becomes more effective. With the ability to think clearly, there is also an opportunity to think clearly about your choices.

Reflect on the Past

Another activity is to recall times in your life when you were faced with an unknown. Then, think about how you handled the situation and how the events of your life eventually unfolded. More times than not, our worries and anxieties are unnecessary and are unfounded. Remembering these incidents will remind you that you have gone through difficult situations before and that you can do it again.  Use your past experiences to bring you strength, to lift you up and to remind you what you are capable of.

To be continued…Will be wrapping things up in a final post.

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4 thoughts on “More Tips for Dealing With Change”

  1. A friend once pointed out the freedom that accompanies “not knowing”. So now, instead of being anxious and afraid of “not knowing”, I welcome the freedom that “not knowing” allows. Instead of fighting to force a solution, I allow the solution to reveal itself. Thank you for reminding me of this lesson!

    1. Thanks Bernadette! I found your comment very insightful and a good reminder to me as well. I love how you made a conscious decision to welcome the unknown. Having the courage to make a different choice, I’m sure, has brought a lot of unexpected gifts your way. I’ve found that every time I act instead of react, I am instantly rewarded. Appreciate your comment. =)

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