I sometimes forget what I’m doing here. I knew what it was when I was a kid. Maybe it was to cover my grandma with a blanket when she was cold or to make my family laugh when they were upset. But it felt true and real then. As I got older, my purpose got a little blurry.
Maybe it was the fear of not being able to financially support myself, the idea that had been pounded into me-that I needed to get a “real” job or that I somehow lost who I was a long the way. But whatever it was that I thought I needed to do only seemed to get worse the older I got.
Others who were on the same path as me eventually lost and found their own way. They got married, had families and created new dreams. I was still there as lost as ever.
But through the pain of feeling like the last one to take the leap, I discovered ways to rise through the uncertainties. I never took a shortcut on my path. Instead I learned that by being completely present and focused on this moment. I didn’t need to know what was going to happen next. The funny thing is that even if we really want to know, we can’t.
Fight Uncertainty With Patience and Presence
It seems crazy to think that being mindful could help solve the things that ail you. But it’s what has helped me. In fact, it’s what led me to California from Hawaii 8 years ago. It was a desire I had to move to the mainland. I put that desire out and let it go. A year later, I was reading a newspaper when a local college course on health psychology and stress management sparked my interest. That class confirmed my decision to get my Masters and the one school I found that had a Health Psychology emphasis was Santa Clara University in Northern California.
All those tiny steps led me here.
It’s what helps remind me what’s important to me in the moment. It guides me when I’m feeling lost.
If you’re riding the same boat as me and fearful of the next wave, take heart. Remember that the only thing you need to do is to get through this moment. The better you’re able to deal with the moment you’re in, the more you’re able to accept and embrace it for what it is, the stronger, more certain you will be when that wave hits.
If I have learned anything on this crazy journey is that we all have the answers to our every question. What we need to do is carefully remove each layer of false beliefs, fear, and defense mechanisms that threaten to sabotage our life.
The only way to get there is through compassion, patience and learning to feel whatever you’re feeling in every moment. It ain’t easy dear friend. But who said life was going to be?
Whenever I’m feeling lost again, I remember what is important. It’s the you and them in the right here and right now. Everything else is just a what if, a whim and a possibility. Those things will come later. Let’s just dance in the unknown and celebrate the breath that you’re taking in the now.