I’ve only been a mom for two and a half years, but having ventured to the other side, I can’t remember life before my sons. Taking on this newish role has changed me. In a good way. Forever. It’s given me new mommy lens that makes me see the world differently. I wish I could tell my before mommy self just what moms really need and need to hear. It would sound a little like this:

  1. “No I don’t need your opinions. I need your help!”

I don’t know how many times I’ve encountered folks who aren’t afraid of telling me what they think about how I’m parenting, but hold a door open for a tired mom with a double stroller? They’d rather roll their eyes.

2. “Just because I do things this way, doesn’t mean I’m disagreeing with your way of doing things.”

Being a parent leaves you wide open to shamedom. I’ve found that when sharing my decision to use cloth diapers or to keep my toddler away from junk food, it sometimes set off shame sirens for those that don’t do what I do. But I truly believe that every parent has their own “right” way of doing things. If you don’t knock my inability to cry it out, I won’t knock your way of doing things. I promise!

3. “Yes. I am a mom. But I’m other things too!”

This post was inspired by a Facebook conversation on one mom’s rant regarding her multilayered roles. She is a writer and a mother. She is accomplished and she stays at home. I’d add that all moms have it hard and we all have different aspects of ourselves. We are mothers. But we are also creators, lovers, and workers too. We are many things with mom being one of them.

4. “Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m a natural at being a mother.”

Giving birth doesn’t automatically make me a mother. It’s not always a seamless transition. It was one of my greatest surprises that having a baby meant I was expected to know how to do everything immediately. It also meant that whenever my husband did anything for the baby he was praised and felt sorry for. For me, it was expected. For him, it was a really kind and unnecessary gesture.

What about you? Do you have anything you wish others new about mothers? Share the love here.

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