No Backlash Backsplash

It’s funny how nature’s perfection can inspire me to be courageously imperfect.

Like doing my backsplash, for example.

I’ve never done it before and I’m horrible and cutting straight.

But when I saw things like this:

It made me inspired to tackle a kitchen backsplash. Peel and stick ones (I got mine from Home Depot) are super easy I’ve found. It literally just takes cutting with an x-acto knife, peeling the back and sticking it onto a clean surface. I’m really happy with it. But I’ll let you know how it goes after a few weeks of aggressive use.

Backsplash

If you remember, then you must have followed my blog for awhile. This is how our kitchen used to look after the remodel and before a ton of kids:

{Nearly done.}

These chicken wire cabinets have the same shape as the new backsplash. Happy accidents are the best!
Kitchen cabinets

 

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

Q & A with Mom and Revel Designs Owner Vashelle Nino

vashellerevel-design-logo_final

Vashelle Nino is a mom friend I met while she was living in Hawaii. She is genuine, kind and super creative. In a word, inspiring. I’ve been stalking her jewelry on Facebook and had to know what inspired her. Here’s what she had to say about her business Revel Designs and life in Maryland with her husband, three kids and “feisty pooch.”

How long have you wanted to create jewelry?

I have been creating jewelry for myself for as long as I could remember. It is sort of the perfect hobby for me for a number of reasons. First, since I have always been thrifty and not one to spend a lot of money on myself and my appearance, I use accessories as an inexpensive way to look put together. I truly believe it is one of the cheapest ways to feel good about what you’re wearing! Second, I have always liked creating and working with my hands. Beading and braiding and working with wire and pliers is like therapy to me. It has a focused, calming effect the same way that yoga and meditation does. Third, it is one of the only things I am good at! Ha! I love creating just about anything, but I don’t think anyone would purchase one of my paintings.

How did you first learn how to do it?

I taught myself jewelry-making techniques long ago just by getting in there and trying it! I’m still learning so much, and there is actually a lot I have yet to learn. Recently, a friend made a custom order with materials I had never used before—real gold and real Tahitian pearls. It was so nervous making this fine jewelry, and I had to do a little bit of research on the materials beforehand. I enjoyed the process and am always eager to learn new things.

What’s your inspiration?

Cost of materials is what drives and inspires me 80% of the time. I love shopping for beautiful beads, stones, charms and accents when they are at their best price. It allows me to sell my finished pieces at a reasonable price. Again, I believe great style can be achieved through accessories—affordable ones at that—and I love being able to contribute to that. The other 20% is when I see materials so beautiful I cannot resist using them in a piece. I get an image in my mind of how I want to use it and I go for it.

That is my creative process.

But what inspired me to open my own jewelry shop to begin with is this: I met a lovely lady in 2014, back when I was living in Hawaii. Her name is, ahem, Brandi. She was a fairly new mom, a kindred spirit, and I saw her striving to live an inspired life doing what she was passionate about. It made me ponder, what do I love? What am I passionate about? And why am I not doing it? It took a while for me to figure it out. I had just had my third child and was about to embark on a cross-country move from Hawaii to Maryland. I did not have the time or stability to focus on that sort of thing right away, but once we settled down in our new home I was able to reflect on what I was good at creatively. I will always be thankful for the sweet serendipity that brought Brandi into my life and what her presence did for me.

Did you have any fears or challenges about creating it initially? If so, what helped you get through these obstacles?

I cannot say I was fearful of anything. I have failed enough times at other things not to care about my ego or embarking on another failure. I had gotten to the point of thinking what is there to lose so I pretty much jumped in!
My biggest challenge when it comes to creating is time. As a mother of three, spanning an age group of 2 to 14 years old, I have very little time set aside to create. I often pine for there to be more hours in a day, but don’t we all!

I often hear from friends, “How do you do it all so effortlessly?”

And I often reply: “I don’t! Would you like to see the mold in my shower, or the three baskets of unfolded laundry hiding in my laundry room, or the Easter wreath still on my front door even though it’s October?”

I think the idea of having it all or doing it all is an illusion. We parents are busier than ever—and I don’t believe that is a good thing. Did your mom do with you as much as you are doing with your kid(s)? Was she as sleep-deprived? Did she worry about the 762,983 things the media tells us to worry about? I doubt it. And I think we should let some things go for the sake of our own sanity.

What do you see for your creative future?

I hope I will still be creating jewelry and perhaps some other things. My love for creating is REAL. I am happiest when I am using my hands and getting messy. I love colors and shapes and textures and all mediums, and I have referred to myself many times as a “sensory whore.” Ha!

I hope to continue selling on Etsy, as it is a comprehensive, reliable and credible platform for my shop. I have had nothing short of a great experience using it.

I also hope to do more craft shows in my area. Incredibly, I moved to the most appropriate place to embark on my new creative venture, as the community in Harford County, Maryland celebrates and values local art and business. The opportunities to showcase my work are plentiful.

What are you most proud of thus far?

Sticking with it and not giving up too soon. My family and friends were the bulk of my customers at the beginning. While I am immensely appreciative of their support I knew they did not sign up to support my business forever, nor did I expect them to! So I remember how excited I was when I got my very first non-family/friend customer through Etsy. I was like What! Someone found my shop, actually liked something and bought it! It was an incredible feeling. And even though I’ve had many non-friend/family customers since that first one, I still get very giddy and humbled. I love the transaction process, knowing that many Etsy shoppers believe in supporting artisans. Even though it is a modernized process using technology and postal services, it gives me the wonderful feeling of being a craftsman vending at an exotic bazaar. I love that.

vashelle vashelle-ninohttps://www.etsy.com/shop/RevelDesignsbyShelly
Instagram: @revel.designs.by.shelly

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

Autumn’s Inspiration

DSC01008-3I started this blog years ago with the intention of fueling my own undernourished spirit. Job after job of soul crushing work depleted me. This blog has been life giving and worth every ounce of time I put in it. It’s led to connections, jobs, and podcast interviews. But more importantly, it pushed me to stop living in the lines and start shaking things up a bit.

And then one kid came. Then, another. My freelance writing career took off. I began to live the dream instead of just dreaming about staring out my window typing on a Mac laptop like Carrie Bradshaw.

But somewhere along the way I started to sacrifice my dreams a little. I became the mom that I saw everywhere. The mom who put her kids first and everyone suffered as a result.

I saw author Wes Moore on Super Soul Sunday, which you can view here, this past weekend and was reminded of all the magical, mystical, whimsical dreams I had for myself. In this wise sentence, he stirred something in me:

“I knew it was incredibly risky to go out, but I think I had to make a very conscious decision that I would rather flirt with failure than never dance with my joy.”

How many of us live just getting by because we were taught that there was a single equation for happiness and any diversion would ruin us, put us on the streets, and shame us for life?

Maybe those impediments are placed so we can grow into the fierce people we were meant to become. But if we use it as excuses to stay small and safe, we’re wasting space in the world. We’re wasting the unique, quirky, beautifully messy life we were given. We were given it all for a reason. When we don’t use it to heal others, speak, write, create, we are wasting it all.

I don’t know what my next chapter holds. I know that I will continue to write, make an impact, and pursue what’s scary. I know that I won’t give up on my dreams. The rest is all up to faith.

People let’s spend our energies fueling our spirit and investing in our purpose. Let’s stop overworrying, overjudging and overgossiping! Use it instead to create what you’ve always wanted to do. Even if it’s not perfect right now. Even if it’s not the greatest thing in the world. Do it. Do it because you were meant to do more than live in the lines.

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

Five Secrets Fulfilled People Use Everyday

Fulfilled Book Cover

Feeling like you’re surviving not thriving? Author Dr. William Schiemann shares his secrets to fulfillment in this week’s guest post.

Are there real tricks to becoming fulfilled in life? You bet. My research and that of others suggests that there are key street-smart actions that those who are most fulfilled use every day. I interviewed over 100 successful people—some who were fulfilled and others who were not—to understand why success does not always bring about fulfillment. There was amazing convergence around several things that fulfilled people do. Here is the top five:

  1. Have strong values—and stick with them. Do your work environment, family and friends allow you to behave consistent with your values? Having to behave contrary with your values can be debilitating.
  2. Practice resilience. The ability to face adversity and bounce back. One part of resilience is having grit, a firmness of character, or as psychologist Angela Duckworth describes it based on her studies, the “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” It was a rare person who could pursue their long-term goals without setbacks in their lives—divorces, failed promotions, cancer, family members coming off the rails. Many people who I knew to be successful in their professional lives had many hidden stories of failures and bounce backs. They used a variety of approaches to get around those adversities that you can borrow in your own life, such as building a great support network of friends, or family that can support you as you plough through challenges. Those who had developed mentors found them particularly helpful. Some dug deep into their long-term vision or spirituality to help them overcome setbacks. We all have setbacks, it’s how you get up that makes the difference.
  3. Take risks. A really interesting finding in my research is the quantity of people who either took risks and vouched that those risks stretched them and enabled them to reach new heights, or those who regretted not taking more risks. It appears that wisdom brings with it perspective. What appeared to be huge risks to many when they were young, now seems insignificant in hindsight. Although hindsight is often 20-20, it would be too easy to dismiss this advice simply as sages looking through the rear view mirror. Instead, many felt so strongly about this that they have gone overboard in encouraging their children to take more risks. This is one of the most difficult lessons in the art of fulfillment, but you can help yourself by have a longer term vision, with many intermediate lighthouse goals along the way—stepping stones—that allow you to see the big picture. Imminent risks are often much less threatening when viewing the big picture. Another key is talking to those who have faced those risks before, often providing sage advice that allows one to reduce the fear and anxiety that comes with perceived risk.
  4. Find a good network. One of the most frequent pieces of advice among our sages was taking time to build networks. One out-of-work pharmaceutical executive told me that the only time he networks is when he is out of work, lamenting that he has not learned from past mistakes. It takes so much longer to reconnect with people and build trust, he shared. This is an increasing challenge to those who are overloaded at work today. Many interviewees commented that time pressures reduced their attendance at meetings outside work, limited hobby and family time, and reduced the time to simply keep up with friends and professional colleagues on Facebook or Linked-In. Most realized that having a good network is a key skill, particularly in the world we live in where networks and connections are increasing key to scoring the next great job, or finding a life partner or getting into the right school. If you are not building your network continuously, you are falling behind.
  5. Give back. An often forgotten element that brought fulfillment to many was giving back. Sharing your skills and experiences with others can bring an incredible sense of fulfillment when you see what it can do for others. I began volunteering for not-for-profits later in life and I can attest that it has been one of the most rewarding experiences. One group I encountered during my investigations was Rosie’s kids—a program to help inner city kids go ahead in life by teaching them stage skills—dancing and singings their hearts away. I first heard the backstory of so many of the disadvantaged kids—crack houses, abusive parent, abandoned, homeless—and then I saw these kids performing with huge smiles on their faces—and one child summed it up for me when I spoke with him at the end. He said that he was excited about his future—his chances. And with a tear in my eye, I realized that one of our greatest sources of fulfillment is enabled others to become fulfilled.

Take a moment to think about your own fulfillment. Do you have a vision, are you taking enough risks, have you built the networks to help you during difficult setbacks, and are you giving back to others more in need? Try it. I think you will find yourself more fulfilled.

William Schiemann HeadshotWilliam A. Schiemann, Ph.D. is CEO of Metrus Group. He is a thought leader in human resources, employee engagement, and fulfillment and author of Fulfilled! Critical Choices – Work, Home, Life, scheduled to be released October 1, 2016. For more information follow Dr. Schiemann on Twitter, @wschiemann and connect with him on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/wmschiemann.

 

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

What I Would Tell the Disheveled Mom With Her Screaming Kids

cry babyIf this were B.K. or before kids, I would try to avert my eyes and run. Mommy meltdowns and blood curdling screams from tantrumy kids made my skin crawl. It’s one of the reasons why I thought I would never have kids.

Fast-forward three years.

I’m running through Target like a contestant on Guy Fieri’s Grocery Games. Move people! I’ve got a hungry, crying baby. Next up-a flying toddler. My kid dives out of the shopping cart. Without warning. While I’m paying. I’m trying to figure out how to stop him from doing it again when he darts for the evil junk at the checkout aisle. There’s a growing line of people building behind me, a cranky two-year-old and a cashier that wants to strangle me. I had an amazing moment when I realized I’m that mom. I’m the mom with the snot soaked shirt. I’m the mom with suitcase under her eyes that’s yelling at her kids, that’s holding the line, that’s not in control.

I’m all those moms.

So here’s what I would tell you if you ever a) find yourself in this same predicament b) see a mom who is:

Take a deep breath. It’s all okay. You feel judged. You are probably are being judged. But those people don’t know how hard it is. They might be seeing you at your worst. They don’t know the hours you spent trying to calm a teething baby and a scared of the dark toddler. They don’t know how you soothed your son’s fears or kiss his owies away or spend hours trying to find the right recipe that he will actually eat. But none of that matters. The person you should be concerned with is you.

I’m taking a Self-Compassion course with Brene Brown and Kristin Neff. One of the things I learned is to put our hands over our heart or give ourselves a gentle hug. Secondly, tell yourself the following: “You’re struggling. This is hard. Everyone struggles. You’re not alone.”

This is what I would tell you.

You’re doing the best you can in a job impossible to be perfect at. You will have good days when you feel like you’re doing a pretty good job. Your child will look up at you and smile. You’ll feel like you got this parenting thing down. And you will have those horrendous days when the poop literally hits the fan. And that’s okay too. You messed up. Your child’s disappointed, scared or sad. You tried your best. You can try again.

I don’t think anyone leaves childhood unscathed. We’ve all got scars. They will have them too. Our job is to teach them that life isn’t perfect, but love is. Teach them you can love yourself even when you feel like a monster and you will have done an amazing job because we all mess up. We all say the wrong thing. We all hurt each other. The main thing is whether we can say to ourselves at the end of the day, “I loved my hardest. I lived the fullest. And I forgive myself for the moments that I didn’t measure up. I am both beautiful and messy. I love you. I love myself. We are all works in progress.”

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

The Surprising Trick to Figure Out Your Life Purpose

P1030232

What if the key to discovering your true purpose lied hidden, placed somewhere you never looked?

What if it’s not in your strengths that reveal your passion, but your weaknesses?

Is it possible that the qualities you thought were your worst traits are actually your strongest?

Could it be that others have deemed them misgivings because they are intimidated by them?

Maybe you’re not bossy, but you have leadership qualities that are not being taken advantage of.

Maybe your indecisiveness is a consequence of being compassionate and your flightiness is the result of unused creativity.

Think about all the things you’re trying to hide in your life out of fear you’ll be rejected. Maybe those are the very characteristics that would lead to your true purpose.

If you release your fear of being judged (*and your need to judge others) you might just discover the “you” that the world needs.

Chew on that in 2016.

*Addition via Cathy’s comment below.

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

Itching for Meaning

Roses
At one point in your existence, you’re going to want more. The life you’ve been living will feel uncomfortable like a scratchy sweater, like a cold tiled floor in the winter. It will make you toss and turn at night, make you wake in a cold sweat. It will turn you into the miserable uncle you once despised.

Or perhaps, you’ve already lived this way for the past several years and life is now throwing stones at you for your attention. It’s the illness you were diagnosed with or the job you were laid off from. These are signs people! These are signs that you need to wake up. Life is not giving you a could shoulder, it’s desperately trying to get you back on track.

Where are you stagnant in your life?

What are you settling for that you shouldn’t be?

What have you outgrown but are too afraid to let go of?

Perhaps a trip, a reconnection with an old friend or an inspiring movie has triggered this change of heart.

I hope you’ll use it as fuel to begin living your dreams!

I just started reading Carrying On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life by Glennon Doyle Melton. I could almost quote everything she says in her book. Everything is so spot on and inspiring:

Here’s my hunch: nobody’s secure, and nobody feels like she completely belongs. Those insecurities are just job hazards of being human. But some people dance anyway, and those people have more fun.”

I’m admittedly one of those people who feels full of insecurities, like the world is super cool and I’m one giant dork. But I’m starting to get okay with that. I’m starting to reach in and look for something more grounding, deeper and more meaningful.

This month, I’m finally facing one of my fears-public speaking. Join me and watch me be all red-faced and awkward but speak anyway at Moms in Hawaii and HMSA’s next Mom-O-Rama event.

Mom-O-Rama

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter
Related Posts with Thumbnails

snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflakeWordpress snowstorm powered by nksnow