Archive for ‘Finding Your Purpose’

February 20th, 2012

Inspiring Businesses

When I’m stuck in a rut, when I’m feeling like my chips are down, the one thing that lifts me up better than an ice-cream cone on a sweltering hot day is soaking up the light from other inspiring businesses.

This past week I heard of two that really got me going and I wanted to share their stories with you here.

Teen Beats Sharks

I first heard about Maggie Bradshaw on Shark Tank. (One of my favorite mindless reality TV shows.) Even if you haven’t seen it before, the title really says it all. People looking for investors to fund their latest invention give a brief presentation to a financially wealthy panel (the sharks) and get ready for them to swarm. It’s a fun show to watch. But this time I was more afraid for Maggie and her younger 12-year old sister.

Not only did Maggie do better than most participants in the show, but all 5 of the sharks wanted to invest in her company. She was assertive, determined and more knowledgeable about business and profit margins that I was at that age. She held her ground, negotiated, didn’t show an once of fear and ended up getting 3 sharks to invest in her million dollar company. Maggie’s just 16. And her company? Necklaces made out of used bottle caps. Genius! You can find out more about m3 girl designs here.

A Truly Inspiring Bee

I haven’t met Bumble owner Mary Heffernan except seeing her in passing as I left her charming restaurant/play cafe, but she still inspires me. As soon as I walked into the cottage that housed her dreams, I was smitten. What I most admire about Heffernan is her out of the box thinking. She created a business out of what she felt was a need-a place where adults could enjoy eating out again with their kids. The cottage is beautifully and glamorously decorated so much so that I didn’t even realize it was a place parents bring their kids until I looked through the aquarium and saw children looking back at us from the next room. What a brilliant idea! Not only that but the items on her menu are organic and locally sourced. And I’m a big lover of details so I couldn’t help but adore the tiles in the bathroom shaped like what else? Honeycombs.

These are just a few business and I’m sure you have your own list of people and companies that make you want to be and do better in your own life. Who are they and what is about them that inspire you?

I’m signing off with one more bit of inspiration. George Lucas recently sat down to talk with Oprah on OWN and I had to jot down what he said about passion. Here it is:

“You sit down to do something at 7 o’clock in the morning and you get hungry and you realize it’s 7 o’clock at night. That’s your passion. That’s what you love. Find something like that, that you can make your career…The idea of making money. The idea of being famous. The idea of becoming powerful in essence is meaningless. It’s only that you’re happy and you’re only going to be happy doing what you love.”

CategoryFinding Your Purpose, Following Your Dreams | Comment2 Comments »

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December 12th, 2011

The Missing Piece

{via colettepaperie from Etsy}

I’ve blogged about finding your calling here and here. But it seems as though I missed the boat when it comes to helping you find your dreams.

After you’ve discovered what you want. And you’ve thought about it. Wrote about it. Did what Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert does every day and write what you really, really, really want in your journal. Took all the steps to get to it. Marketed yourself. Educated yourself. Networked yourself crazy. But you are still here.

Waiting.

Praying.

Wondering.

Doubting.

Cause you’re still not where you want to be…

Maybe you’re starting to think taking that e-course would have been the way to go or that you shouldn’t have turned down that job offer you had recently. What’s taking SO long?! And why oh why haven’t you gotten there yet?!

I am an impatient person so I totally understand what you’re going through.

But the truth of the matter is the greatest obstacle that could be standing in the way of your dreams is…Y-O-U!

If you’ve ever questioned your talent, doubted your efforts, find yourself wondering if you’re really worthy of ______ (happiness, success, love, etc.), then you’re the one who’s holding yourself back.

The missing piece is you. It’s always been you.

It’s not your father, your teacher, your difficult client, your children, your siblings, your uncompassionate friend, your unsupportive spouse.

It’s you.

You are unfortunately and fortunately the thing in the way of your dreams.

And the only way you’re going to get there is to stop blaming others and start healing yourself.

How do you do that?

1. Bully yourself with love. When your thoughts are filled with negative self-talk, overpower them with positive words of self-love.

2. Remind yourself of what you’ve already accomplished. When faced with a new opportunity, you may automatically respond with the thought: “I can’t do that.” Tell yourself, “I already have.” Remember all the impossible feats you’ve already overcome.

3. Visualize yourself already there. Sometimes the fear that we can’t do something, sabotages our efforts. Visualizing that we’ve already achieved what we’re afraid of somehow makes the tasks seem less intimidating.

4. Remember why you want it. Focusing on why you’re doing what you’re doing can help alleviate some of the anxiety associated with success. If you’re intention is to help others, you will be less likely to shirk away from that next project because you’re focused on a larger goal.

5. Practice patience. When we are wounded, we put a band-aid over the sore spot to give it time to heal. It’s the same with our soul. Sometime it takes times to be where want to be. Have patience that you will get there. In the meantime, work on loving yourself. Work on healing the wounds of insecurity, rejection, unworthiness with love, acceptance, understanding.

Eventually, a new door will open. The question is, “Will you be ready for it?”

CategoryDealing with Fear, Finding Your Purpose, Following Your Dreams, Inspired Life | CommentNo Comments »

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October 31st, 2011

Facing the Things You Fear Most

 

H-A-P-P-Y                                          H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N! 

{pinterest photo. from reddit.com.}

In case you didn’t know, I’m a bit of a scaredy cat. I’m scared of oogly googly things like spiders, snakes, cockroaches. And I’m scared of loud noises like fireworks, balloons popping, gun shots and suspenseful movies.

I think in my former life I was a rabbit. I startle easy and like to be in quiet places.

But of all the things there are in the world to worry about, the thing that scares me most is not fulfilling my purpose.

It’s the thing that keeps me up late at night, that inspires me to keep working, to look for clues, to hunt down any inkling of desire I might have.

Because as you know, just when you think you know everything something changes to prove you wrong. 

I once heard that you’ll never stop wanting until you’re dead. That hopefully means we have a lot of wanting left in our lives. It means that there is no age limit on dream-seeking. That the only thing keeping you from pursuing your dreams is the limitations you create in your mind.

Yesterday, I was in yoga lying down in corpse position {ironic name} when these lines popped into my mind:

 

i am just a small spirit,

spinning, pulsating brightly through the limitations of this flesh covered body.

as an entity it is strong,

together with my soul it is powerful.

i extend a light through its fingers and twinkle its toes and experience what it’s like to be sensitive to sound, vulnerable to pain, and to feel both connected and disconnected at once.

it is fear and pain,

pure awareness abound.

a blessing to be awake, a gratitude to experience what it is to be alive.

it’s when the intensities too great,

when the light from spirit is low,

that’s when i long for respite,

to retreat to the sweet pleasantries of nothingness

to crawl out of this weak, all feeling body.

but it is with knowledge, with unexpected strength,

a treasure trove of goodness despite pain, despite discomfort, despite fear

that i keep my light flowing, courageously extending my glow, my energy,

my inner brilliance,

though it wax and wanes like a candle fragile to the wind,

i take the chance

because i remember

that in the end

it is worth it…

That poem was melding in my brain and it just rolled on out. To me, it means: Yes. Life is scary. Life is uncomfortable, awkward, painful, devastating, and disappointing. But it is also beautiful, hopeful, exciting and gives us the opportunity to grow, to feel and to change.

As you prepare for your Halloween party, fixing up some sweet treats and getting into your costumes, I hope you’ll remember that. Maybe the things that scare us are not so scary after all. Maybe they are just lessons waiting to be learned.

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Dealing with Fear, Finding Your Purpose, Following Your Dreams | Comment5 Comments »

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October 11th, 2011

Remembering What’s Important

I sometimes forget what I’m doing here. I knew what it was when I was a kid. Maybe it was to cover my grandma with a blanket when she was cold or to make my family laugh when they were upset. But it felt true and real then. As I got older, my purpose got a little blurry.

Maybe it was the fear of not being able to financially support myself, the idea that had been pounded into me-that I needed to get a “real” job or that I somehow lost who I was a long the way. But whatever it was that I thought I needed to do only seemed to get worse the older I got.

Others who were on the same path as me eventually lost and found their own way. They got married, had families and created new dreams. I was still there as lost as ever.

But through the pain of feeling like the last one to take the leap, I discovered ways to rise through the uncertainties. I never took a shortcut on my path. Instead I learned that by being completely present and focused on this moment. I didn’t need to know what was going to happen next. The funny thing is that even if we really want to know, we can’t.

Fight Uncertainty With Patience and Presence

It seems crazy to think that being mindful could help solve the things that ail you. But it’s what has helped me. In fact, it’s what led me to California from Hawaii 8 years ago. It was a desire I had to move to the mainland. I put that desire out and let it go. A year later, I was reading a newspaper when a local college course on health psychology and stress management sparked my interest. That class confirmed my decision to get my Masters and the one school I found that had a Health Psychology emphasis was Santa Clara University in Northern California.

All those tiny steps led me here.

It’s what helps remind me what’s important to me in the moment. It guides me when I’m feeling lost.

If you’re riding the same boat as me and fearful of the next wave, take heart. Remember that the only thing you need to do is to get through this moment. The better you’re able to deal with the moment you’re in, the more you’re able to accept and embrace it for what it is, the stronger, more certain you will be when that wave hits.

If I have learned anything on this crazy journey is that we all have the answers to our every question. What we need to do is carefully remove each layer of false beliefs, fear, and defense mechanisms that threaten to sabotage our life.

The only way to get there is through compassion, patience and learning to feel whatever you’re feeling in every moment. It ain’t easy dear friend. But who said life was going to be?

Whenever I’m feeling lost again, I remember what is important. It’s the you and them in the right here and right now. Everything else is just a what if, a whim and a possibility. Those things will come later. Let’s just dance in the unknown and celebrate the breath that you’re taking in the now.

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October 5th, 2011

Find the Clues to Your Future in the Crumbs of Your Past

via pinmarklet on Pinterest. the original's from joannapallaris.com.

 

An old friend recently contacted me. {If you’re reading dear friend, thanks for connecting.} He asked me if I remembered telling him 7 years ago that he needed to be more present, more mindful of this moment.

I laughed when I heard that. That sounded so “me-in-my-twenties.” I was so sure of myself then. But at the time my self-concept rested thinly on what I thought I knew about life-all twenty-something years of it. What I know now is that I don’t know anything for sure and knew even less then.

But it was also pertinent for another reason. He reminded me that I’ve always been kind of self-help-ish and new-agey. My favorite section of a bookstore was the self-help psychology section. I used to unashamedly sit my bottom down on the worn carpet peering into books on self-growth. I hardly cared if anyone saw me reading them. My passion was improving myself. And I was on a mission.

I used to keep a journal filled entirely with quotes from books I read. In fits of inspiration, I would read my thoughts, poems, and inspiring quotes to my co-worker. Stuck in a two-person office including me, he was forced to be my sole audience.

 

I Was a Wild Child

But then I went even further back in my memory. I thought about being my rebellious 10 year old self. I was a little wild child with a knack for coming up with “brilliant” stories that I made up on impulse, annoying friends and family with them.

When the school bell rang, I would run through the grass until my legs were covered with welts from the brush rubbing against my skin. I would lay down flat then and stare up at the sky. Those were the moments I released my imagination and let it free.

I was such a creator as a child. I made Christmas ornaments out of felt, created my first children’s story hand-drawn pictures and all, got my poem published in our news bulletin and won an award for my science project. I was an average student, but when it came to anything that involved creativity, my heart soared. It was a glorious feeling!

The funny thing is I never once thought about any of these memories when I was stressed out in my 20s trying to figure out my dreams.

 

I Used My Left-Brain to Decide My Life and Failed

I spent hour after hour researching jobs. I took an extra year getting my BA because I changed my major several times (Business, Environmental Studies) before I settled on an English major with a Ethnic Studies minor. Even at that age I was conflicted between wanting to follow my dreams and feeling the pressure to make money.

 

Life Lessons

These experiences taught me a few things about figuring out what you’re meant to do in life. I learned that if I had just spent more time analyzing my past, I would have had the clues I needed to find my future.

What I needed to do was work on the psychological factors that were preventing me from seeing them. This meant dealing with my fear of rejection as being a creative person, altering my belief that I couldn’t write for a living and facing all the negative baggage that I had accumulated about who I was and what I could do. It was a long way from that little girl who used to watch billowing clouds float in the limitless sky. But had I known she had the secret key to unlocking my dreams, I would have gone to her sooner.

Lost about your own purpose in life?

Follow the crumbs of your past. Think about what you spent all your time doing, what your strengths were, what activities you got most lost in. When you go in search of your childhood passion, you find your future.

 

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July 25th, 2011

Making the Right Decision

Players like to analyze the strategy and outcome of a game. Why this move was beneficial and why that one led to a player’s downfall.

Sometimes we discover clues to help us make future decisions by investigating the past.

Situations that may need your attention?

  • Deciding whether you should take one job over another.
  • Knowing whether you should quit the job you have to start your dream job.
  • Anytime you’re caught between a decision to stay in your comfort zone or take a giant leap into the unknown.

You can write pros and cons lists, ask others for advice, or wait for the answer to fall into your lap. But if the question lays unanswered for awhile, you may need to dig deeper.

Investigating Your Life for Clues

One of the benefits of going home for me is having the chance to explore the “me” of my youth. I have about 5 or 6 full journals with evidence of who I was. As if time suddenly stood still, I’m back to that clueless, sensitive girl in her teens and “looking for love in all the wrong places” young woman of my twenties.

Since I wrote the journals, I’ve devoured each, pouring over every word as if they were the latest fiction novel often forgetting the protagonist was me. After the third read, I’d go back and look for clues. I’d ponder who I am by reading about who I was, all the while trying desperately to forgive and accept the person I had completely forgotten about in my present life.

Well, this time I discovered something else.

I randomly flipped through an entry I wrote on November 17, 2003 .

“Tonight was one of those nights that I felt so appreciative of being here [in California], like I made the right decision. I got to say almost everything that has been happening has conformed this. I have had so many positive experiences and am happier learning more about myself and how to appreciate my life.”

I don’t remember writing this. But was blown away by reading my realization of making the right decision. And looking back, I definitely did. It was so validating to read that.

After I read that passage, a few papers fell out of the journal. One was a note written by a psychic I saw over ten years ago. In it, she wrote:

“Her life choice seems to be leading her away from safety and choices she once knew, a general calculated move is on its way with some connection to the mainland. Also, she needs some time away from her friends in order that she gain some new perspective elsewhere. Affirmation: Oftentimes negativity is a test put before us by the force in the Universe that wants to see balance within you, rather than accomplishment.”

I think seeing this journal passage and the note was serendipitous. The timing was quite impeccable as my husband and I have been tossing and turning over a decision that’s haunted us for the last few years.

And reading it, made me realize that in the past,  I had made one of the most difficult choices in my life-to move away from the “safety” the psychic talked about and because of it, reaped the rewards years later experiencing happiness and gratitude for my life.

 The affirmation really hit home.

At the time, I didn’t really understand it. In fact, it’s only on my birthday this year that I really got it.

There is a lot of negativity all around us. I would be lying if I said that not only was it around me, but it was all too tempting to swallow that pill and adopt it as my own. I think the struggle to maintain positivity is something that has been my main obstacle for most of my life. I hadn’t realized that challenging myself to resist negativity so that I could be positive was my goal in life. Forget about accomplishments! If I only understood that earlier. I wonder if I would have been torturing myself with trying to get straight A’s or winning awards and scholarships.

If I only knew that that was what I had to do in life, I wonder if I would have made more of the “right” decisions sooner.

Either way, it was an “aha” moment for me. My purpose became clear. I was validated in my past decision, which gives me courage in deciding my present one.

What about you?

Have you discovered something about yourself or found the answers to your greatest dilemmas by searching within?

Much luck on your journey ahead…

xo,

Brandi

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July 12th, 2011

How Do You Know It’s Time?

Do you remember the scene in Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love when Felipe takes Liz by the hand and says, “Darling, it’s time.”

{photo}

Don’t you wish someone would tell you that too? 

  • When you’re teetering back and forth on a decision to leave a job?
  • Deciding to start a business?
  • End a relationship?
  • Stay or move?

Today, a tweet from @MelissaBreau caught my eye. I replied to her Tweet to find out what was going on in her world and she replied with this:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@theinspiringbee thanks. I decided recently – I’m going freelance full time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breau, a fellow writer announced on her blog that she decided to quit her 5 year full-time associate editor job and go full-time as a freelancer. Woohoo!! I was excited for her. It made me wonder what gave her the courage to make such a decision.

What does it take for someone to leave the comforts of their current situation and take a leap into the unknown?

Although every situation is different, I think I have a few ideas.
 

Signs It’s Time

 
Your reason to stay is just not good enough. A friend once said the best thing about her current beau was that he had a “warm body.” If you can’t come up with any good reasons to stay in a relationship, a job or even a state, it may be time to pack it up.

You’ve stopped growing. At the beginning of your journey you were getting tons of new ideas, your learning curve was more impressive than a professional baseball player’s curveball. But several months later you feel stagnant. You haven’t learned a thing and your forecast for future growth is looking bleak.

Fear is controlling your decision. Perhaps intuitively you know it’s time to move on, but when people ask you why you stay, the only answer that keeps coming up is fear. You’re afraid of the lost of security. You’re afraid that you may be making the wrong decision.You’re afraid of letting go so instead you hold on tight and keep waiting for the fear to subside.

You begin to see other people doing what you want to do. In college I was dreaming of leaving my small hometown and going to school on the mainland. But that leap seemed so huge. I couldn’t imagine it for myself. That is, until I heard a classmate had already done it. Knowing that someone else had already done it. Knowing that she already faced her fears and took that leap excited me and I stopped seeing limitation and started imagining what was possible for myself.

You just know. You know how Oprah always talks about getting a whisper and then a whisper becomes a shout? Maybe you know you were destined to be a writer or you know that the person you are with isn’t the right one. Maybe you already know the answer to the title of this post, you just need a push to make that decision.

If you’re still on the fence, give yourself time. Reflect on your choices. Go through a list of pros and cons and think about what your life would be like if you decided to stay where you are or make a leap. Imagine how you would feel 5 years from now if you were doing exactly what you are doing right now.

Is the risk to go through with it greater than the risk of doing nothing at all?

CategoryDealing with Fear, Finding Your Purpose, Inspired Life | Comment3 Comments »

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