Archive for ‘Finding Your Purpose’

March 26th, 2013

The Importance of Play in Inspiration

{Etsy art by spunkyfluff}

{Etsy art by spunkyfluff}

Many people get caught up with words like, “progress,” “certainty,” and “maturity.” They worry when they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. They beat themselves up when two steps forward leads to one step back. They are self-critical and ashamed when they are “acting immature.”

But it’s all part of the process. According to Care of the Soul author Thomas Moore, it’s neglecting the complexities of our inner child (the part of us that is playful, creative and spontaneous) that hurts us most. He says progress and growth are prioritized in our society, but they are not always necessary or relevant. Sometimes in order to grow or heal we need to take a step back. Sometimes in order to know what we want, we need to honor the child. To go forward, it’s imperative that we look back. He believes that taking care of your soul requires that you accept, nurture and pay attention to all aspects of yourself. And in fact, ignoring or attempting to deny your childhood desires, your inner joy, spontaneity, and your creativity can cause significant suffering.

Who you are right at this moment is a conglomeration of who you were, who you are and who you are about to become. To neglect any part of your soul in disgust, distaste or disdain will work against you. It’s like a critical and demanding parent who controls you into being the person they want you to be. You will never know your true purpose or calling if you continue on that path. The only way to awaken the part of you that asks the following:

Who am I?

What do I really want in life?

What do I want to be when I grow up?

…is to listen.

This means prioritizing play in your life. Respect the time you devote to reading, playing, creating and protect it as well as you protect time spent working. Embrace your inner child’s wants without judgment, criticism and reprimand. You’ve had enough of that in your life and that’s the reason why you are where you are in this moment. I’m afraid the only way you can free yourself from the hold of a stifling past is to release your fears and finally respond to the part of you that you’ve been hiding for so long.

It’s a frightening, but worthy cause.

For today, let yourself be immature,

open your eyes to life as if you’ve never explored it before,

and be okay, just for this moment, with not knowing what’s through that unopened door…

CategoryCreativity, Daily Inspirations, Dealing with Fear, Finding Your Purpose | CommentNo Comments »

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February 28th, 2013

What is My Purpose In Life? The 3 Stages of Finding Your Purpose

{Etsy stamp from MountainsideCrafts}

{Etsy stamp from MountainsideCrafts}

I’ve spent about a decade trying to answer that question. I looked for it in books, from gurus, school counselors, life coaches and even psychics. But it only took revisiting my childhood passion to figure out what I always knew:

wish list for a typewriter + hours of making up stories + writing poems when I was 10 + obsessive reading & journal writing =  writer

It took remembering what brought me joy that helped me to find my purpose in life.

Through my own struggles, I’ve learned that there are several stages to the path of finding your purpose.

Stage 1: Actively Looking

You might be in high school or college or have years of work experience behind you, but feel like you missed the boat when it comes to living the life of your dreams. If that sounds like you, you’re in stage 1. This is when you’re most actively searching. Like me you might be taking career quizzes, searching the internet, talking with friends, family and a career counselor or a life coach, or reading a book to help you get clear.

Stage 2: Soul Searching

I’d call stage 1 more of a superficial search. You need to get to that point in order to start getting serious about what you want to do with your life. But to really find out what you want and who you are, you need to reach in deep. To bring out my passion for writing, I had to explore who I was as a child, what mattered most to me, and what brought me the most joy. It’s seems easy, but recalling who you are at your very core takes a bit of courage. There’s a reason why you’re not doing what you love right now. Someone told you a) that you couldn’t do it or b) that you shouldn’t do it so you buried that passion way in deep.

Stage 3: Trusting Your Instincts

Bestselling author of The Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren says, “Your purpose is not about you.” It’s less about what you want, then about how you can use your innate gifts in service to others. How do we determine what those gifts are? When we learn to not just accept our flaws, but to think of them as strengths we can finally uncover our unique gifts. For example, since I was 7-years-old I would hound my mom with questions. I’ve always been this way annoying new acquaintances and old friends by my curiosity and need to know attitude. I realized after many years that this so-called flaw has enabled me to ask the right questions when it came to interviewing subjects for my writing.

Somewhere deep inside you already know who you are and what you’re meant to do with your life. The answers have been left like breadcrumbs on your path toward your purpose. You’ve just been too afraid, unsure or distracted to notice. All you need to do is to stop the outside noise (your family, your friends, the media that tells you what you should do) and listen to the gift that wants to direct your life.

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December 18th, 2012

Loving What You Got

{flickr photo by QuinnDombrowski}

{flickr photo by QuinnDombrowski}

It’s not always easy to look down at your cracked shoes, your too light wallet, your larger-than-life thighs and say to yourself, “Gee, I love my life!”

But I’m going to tell you why it’s hard not to.

Even though you could list hundreds of things you don’t like about yourself, your situation, your life, there is within every single person so many GOOD reasons to legitimately say, “Thank you!” And it’s all the things you think you hate about your life that actually make it so.

It’s me when I’m being too vocal, expressing my distaste for a certain food or dislike for a restaurant. In afterthought, I cringe wishing that I could have swallowed my voice instead of spoke up. It makes me feel too diva-ish, too brash, too much. But it’s also the thing I love most about myself if only I allowed myself to embrace it.

You might find that same conflict within yourself. The thing you criticize about someone else-they’re too judgmental, complain-y, immature, etc.-are the very shadows that you try to hide within yourself. There’s a fear that if you were to let that aspects of your self out, you would be teased or worse hated. In Care of the Soul (a book that found me in Glen Ellen, California, in a “keep-a-book, give-a-book library”), Thomas Moore says:

“It appears to me that as we open ourselves to see what our soul is made of and who we really are, we always find some material that is a profound challenge.”

And oftentimes what makes us feel ugly and weird are actually just reasons for celebration. Why? It provides evidence of our uniqueness, our individuality, what makes us different. And sometimes that can be the answers to our life purpose.

Maybe I’m not supposed to stay small and quiet, but to be bold and expressive. And letting that side out is the only way I can release my fears and express my soul’s purpose.

That isn’t to say every bad habit or behavior is justified. But it’s also not about repressing or hating them either. In silencing our inner complainer, for example, we may be neglecting ourselves. Moore says the way toward healing is through love. And that means loving even the so-called hard parts and then listening to why they are there.

Holocaust survivor, Nobel Laureate, and writer Elie Wiesel said on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday:

“Whatever you do in life remember, think higher and feel deeper.”

I believe it’s only in completely surrendering to who we are in this moment that we can completely live and love our life. If we do anything less than that, we will miss our calling. We miss our purpose for being here. We become disconnected from our truth because we’re too wrapped up into what we don’t have, what we never got, and why so-and-so is so much better than us.

Thinking higher means we grasp onto an elevated way of thinking of our lives and our self. Feeling deeper means that we don’t hold back. We feel the highest of highs and lowest of lows and know that if we stay true to who we are, we will always land on our feet.

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December 10th, 2012

Finding Your Life’s Purpose

I used to think that finding your purpose was as impossible as finding your keys on a busy morning. It was something you couldn’t do on your own. And it had to involve a little hair pulling and be stress inducing.

So I did that. I confronted it the way I did any problem. I used my left brain, researching like crazy, spending hours in bookstores and libraries pouring over job descriptions in the hope that I would eventually find my answer.

Of course, I didn’t find it. Because digging for truth from external resources never gets you to where you want to go. The only way to find out what you were meant to do is listen. You already know.

{I took that frame with my iPhone so forgive the wavy lines.}

The moment we’re desperately seeking something we’re forgetting our own inner wisdom. The intuitive voice that says, “Remember how you used to love creating stories when you were a kid,” or “think about all the time you spend taking pictures as a teen.” It’s that little spark of energy you feel when you’re doing something you thoroughly love. It’s the activities that make you feel like you’re in the flow. It’s an experience that years after it happened touched you and now you’re changed forever.

A dream isn’t something that needs to be discovered. A dream is already there.

It could have been planted as a seed from the time you were born or it could have grew into an entirely different plant as you’ve gotten older.

Your dreams are an already existing garden. Why haven’t you found it yet? You’ve let the weeds grow over your passion because of time, fear, and the dream killers who you’ve allowed to dictate your life.

If you’re feeling lost, stuck, confused about what you want to do with the rest of your life, stop asking others for help. Stop perusing the career section in your local bookstore. Instead, peer down into your neglected past. Remember your roots and nourish the moments that you used to love, but forgot about. Cultivate your passions and you will eventually rediscover that garden and those precious seeds you planted as a child.

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Finding Your Purpose | Comment2 Comments »

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November 5th, 2012

Is Passion a Dirty Word?

If it is now, it never used to be. I think passion was a buzzword until it burnout from overuse.

Nowadays some cringe when they hear it. They believe passion prevents us from getting things done. It can be stifling. If we’re not living up to our passion, maybe our lives are useless. And do we even need passion anyway? There are tons of people who are filthy rich and successful doing things they are not passionate about right?

How Important is Passion?

To answer this question, we must first look at what passion is. According to Joan Borysenko in Fried: Why You Burn Out,

“Passion is pure energy-vitality-which is exactly what dies in burnout.”

It is the inner spark, that internal enthusiasm that makes you stay up at night following a dream, what you can’t stop talking about, what drives you despite setbacks, obstacles or fear. It is flow. It is bliss. It is the sense that you could do whatever it is you’re doing regardless if you were getting paid for it. Passion is not deterred by change. It is enlivened by it. Sometimes we lose our passion because we are burnt out, we are afraid or get so caught up in the day to day tasks of our lives that we forget. But it is still within us.

Passion isn’t a luxury, it is our necessity. Following our passion allows us to express the very essence of who we are.

I sometimes think people say, “passion shmassion” (or maybe they don’t literally say that) because they are afraid of pursuing their dreams. It takes courage and faith to not just follow what thrills us, but to find it. Borysenko says it requires two things: listening for external cues and having faith in the unknown.

Maybe people get caught up into believing the following:

Passion = ? (doctor, lawyer, artist, teacher, etc.)

They get bogged down in the erroneous belief that passion requires a specific role or occupation that needs to be filled. Instead The Book of Awakening author Mark Nepo says, “This is not about being a poet or a florist or a doctor or a lawyer or an architect. It is about the true vitality that waits beneath all occupations for us to tap into, if we can discover what we love.”

And passion isn’t just a byproduct of a middle class economy, it is our god given right to pursue it. Nepo beautifully adds that the joy received when we follow our passion is “not an added feature; it is a sign of deep health.”

Remember that the next time someone calls you “selfish” for following your dreams!

 

CategoryBurnout, Daily Inspirations, Finding Your Purpose | CommentNo Comments »

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October 25th, 2012

The Baggage On Your Journey

Oprah says we all have a calling. And we should find that calling as soon as possible. Who wouldn’t want to find it? As best-selling author and spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss said in her newsletter recently:

“…any human being who consciously ignites or accepts his or her soul’s path awakens their charism – their unique grace that once unlocked, reshapes their world in ways that person could never imagine. It is only then that a person can truly begin to live a fully original life.”

Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a golden path leading to it? There would be no question where to go to fulfill our purpose.

Yet, we’re not completely left in the dark.

It can feel that way when we’re going from job to job or staying the same one for twenty years. It may even feel like abandonment. “Why have all the good ones been taken?” you ask. “Why is there nothing left for me?”

It’s only insecurity, lack of confidence, a mislead intention that blinds us. What I’ve come to learn is that what you want is already in front of you. You just need to remove the blinders to see it.

The Blinders Impeding Your Path

What I can tell you from my own experience with 15+ jobs in the last 15 years is that your greatest obstacle to finding your true calling is you. If you were to shred any fear you have of failing OR succeeding, if you were to remove any financial worries or concerns about what other people would think, you would know what you’re put here to do. A lot of times we let external circumstances dictate our life.

I spent several years taking jobs that I thought I “should” take because of the money. I spent those years miserable, angry, resentful over the time I spent in them. I mistakenly believed that like “no pain, no gain,” you had to hate your job to make a living.

This is why it took me over a decade to find what I already knew in elementary school! I spent weekends pretending to be a reporter. I asked for a typewriter when I was a kid. I was on my school’s news bulletin and later high school newspaper staff. I majored in English. But instead of pursuing a career as a writer, I worked as a private investigator, a research assistant, a marketing assistant, a counselor. All great careers by the way. All experiences that have helped me be a better writer. But it’s taken me that much longer to figure out my true calling.

Hopefully, it won’t take you that long to find yours.

How to Get Back on Track

If you’re gotten off track and need a few bread crumbs to dig you out, listen to this woman’s advice on spotting a great opportunity from Oprah.com:

“When you’re weighing an opportunity, make the question that simple: Do I really want this, or am I doing it for the money or the prestige or because I think I should? It can’t just be about those things. It has to make you feel good, too.” - Christina Wayne, former senior VP at AMC, current president of Cineflix Studios, and an executive producer of the new BBC America series Copper

And ask yourself these same questions about the current job you’re in. Are you where you are because you chose this course or are you here to feel validated, to make money, to please someone other than yourself?

This type of soul searching will push you in the direction you need to go. It takes courage to answer truthfully. But you will get there if you allow your true voice to come forward.

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October 9th, 2012

What We Can All Learn from KONY 2012 Filmmaker Jason Russell

{surprise flowers from my husband.}

I’m ashamed to say I didn’t hear about Kony 2012 until Oprah’s Next Chapter. Then I found out about filmmaker Jason Russell’s sharp rise to million YouTube viewers fame and steep drop to a nervous breakdown hell. I’m not going to go into the details here. For that, you can see clips from the original video below.

What I can say is that hearing his story moved me in a significant way. And although I haven’t ever went on a public tirade or garnered a million viewers, I can relate.

Why?

Because there is a part of us that deeply desires to make a difference. There is a vast calling within us to fix the injustices of the world. And I believe there is a hidden sense of guilt that passes over us every time we watch the news, pass a homeless person or hear about a tragedy. If given free reign and voice to express our passions, how far would we go to control it? Would it consume us?

We never think about that when pursuing our dreams.

We think about getting there. We drool over the life we’ve been painting in our minds. We pull our energies to focus on what needs to get done. We don’t think about how we will deal with it when it comes.

I think we can learn a lot about Russell’s journey.

To prepare for the life we want, to brace for the wave of pulsating energy coming our way to get us to our dreams, we need to take time now to breathe. We need to surrender to the moment we’re in right now. We need to taste the salt from the ocean as much as we inhale its beauty in our memories.

When the wave comes we can surrender or become engulfed in it. Russell’s story teaches us that the only way to survive the impact is to be present, still and strong in who we are right now. On a small scale, it can teach us how we cope with life. It is the difference between allowing your breath to heal you and wash away your thoughts versus allowing it to obsessively take over your mind. You can relinquish your control over what is or you can use your energy to fight it.

In the end, if every challenge is a teacher, then allow this moment, this current challenge to be the quiz before the big test.

Right now, stop what you are doing, close your eyes, and feel the you that sits in your body. Be present in the knowledge that you are more than the things that you do, the dreams you accomplish and the success you have. You are that and everything else. Be still and acknowledge your perfect existence in an imperfect world. In doing this, you will practice shutting down the egoic mind to hear your true self.

Yes we all need to go to work, to write, to create, to tend to our children, to take care of our lives. But within the busyness of life there is peace. Let Russell’s story remind us that presence and stillness are just as important as achieving and making a difference. When life gets too hectic, remember restoration, rejuvenation and rest are always just a breath away…

Jason Russell: Why the Kony 2012 Phenomenon Was Like a Tsunami

Within 24 hours of its release online, the Invisible Children documentary Kony 2012 had more than a million views. In a week, it reached 100 million. Filmmaker Jason Russell says that what started as a wave became a tsunami. Watch as he explains what was going through his mind when the film became a phenomenon.

CategoryBurnout, Daily Inspirations, Finding Your Purpose, Get More By Doing Less | CommentNo Comments »

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