Archive for ‘Following Your Dreams’

February 22nd, 2012

How Much Would You Risk for Your Dreams?

Dandelion

As you know from this post, I’ve had a little more free time on my hands lately. Especially since my new blogging job at Beliefnet has been temporarily stalled because of all the increase in traffic that’s been landing there lately (good news for my future, bad news for me now).

On the bright side, I’ve had ample time to work on my dreams: a book I hope to publish one day, a copywriting job, and my latest project (recovering a vintage typewriter I bought and shared on Facebook over the weekend).

Sunshine with a Chance of Crazy

Well in the midst of all my applying, I’ve gotten a surprising number of callbacks and interests. There were at least a handful that made my stomach tingle (you know the feeling you get when you really like someone? That kind).

But here I am, feeling that same doubt. Because I’ve gone and done something super crazy! Crazier than leaving a job for no job in tow. I’ve said, “No” to all of them. Why? Because they’d require a sacrifice I can’t foresee making right now-giving up the freedom and flexibility that comes with freelancing and telecommuting. Am I crazy or what?

I have to admit that turning down jobs, especially writing jobs that I would love, seems not only illogical, but quite frankly a little bit of stupid. But I can’t give up now. I think following your dreams take faith. The kind of faith that makes you walk forward without any certainty that something or someone will catch you if you fall.

If it sounds too crazy for you, think of it this way. If you were single and wanted to find your soul mate, would you get together with each person you met that was available just because they were available? Or would you risk turning a few down because you had faith that you would eventually meet the right person or at least a few date worthy candidates?

What Would You Give Up for Your Dreams?

I heard someone say once that you can have everything you want in life, but not all at one time. What’s required of you to fulfill that dream is to give up something else in return. For some, it’s family over career. For others, it’s a willingness to wait a lifetime in order to finish that book or travel to Europe. But whether it’s time, financial security or stability, it’s worth asking yourself this:

What am I willing to give up for the purpose of pursuing my dreams?

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February 20th, 2012

Inspiring Businesses

When I’m stuck in a rut, when I’m feeling like my chips are down, the one thing that lifts me up better than an ice-cream cone on a sweltering hot day is soaking up the light from other inspiring businesses.

This past week I heard of two that really got me going and I wanted to share their stories with you here.

Teen Beats Sharks

I first heard about Maggie Bradshaw on Shark Tank. (One of my favorite mindless reality TV shows.) Even if you haven’t seen it before, the title really says it all. People looking for investors to fund their latest invention give a brief presentation to a financially wealthy panel (the sharks) and get ready for them to swarm. It’s a fun show to watch. But this time I was more afraid for Maggie and her younger 12-year old sister.

Not only did Maggie do better than most participants in the show, but all 5 of the sharks wanted to invest in her company. She was assertive, determined and more knowledgeable about business and profit margins that I was at that age. She held her ground, negotiated, didn’t show an once of fear and ended up getting 3 sharks to invest in her million dollar company. Maggie’s just 16. And her company? Necklaces made out of used bottle caps. Genius! You can find out more about m3 girl designs here.

A Truly Inspiring Bee

I haven’t met Bumble owner Mary Heffernan except seeing her in passing as I left her charming restaurant/play cafe, but she still inspires me. As soon as I walked into the cottage that housed her dreams, I was smitten. What I most admire about Heffernan is her out of the box thinking. She created a business out of what she felt was a need-a place where adults could enjoy eating out again with their kids. The cottage is beautifully and glamorously decorated so much so that I didn’t even realize it was a place parents bring their kids until I looked through the aquarium and saw children looking back at us from the next room. What a brilliant idea! Not only that but the items on her menu are organic and locally sourced. And I’m a big lover of details so I couldn’t help but adore the tiles in the bathroom shaped like what else? Honeycombs.

These are just a few business and I’m sure you have your own list of people and companies that make you want to be and do better in your own life. Who are they and what is about them that inspire you?

I’m signing off with one more bit of inspiration. George Lucas recently sat down to talk with Oprah on OWN and I had to jot down what he said about passion. Here it is:

“You sit down to do something at 7 o’clock in the morning and you get hungry and you realize it’s 7 o’clock at night. That’s your passion. That’s what you love. Find something like that, that you can make your career…The idea of making money. The idea of being famous. The idea of becoming powerful in essence is meaningless. It’s only that you’re happy and you’re only going to be happy doing what you love.”

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January 4th, 2012

Making Meaning in 2012

When I reflect back on 2011, I see a bunch of foggy days wrapped up tight, stuffed and oozing out like a burrito from a food truck. It may taste delicious all and all, but the sight…well it ain’t for sore eyes.

In 2012, I want more. I want to rediscover meaning and purpose and passion. I’m tired of settling for status quo. I’m fed up with telling the same story that everyone has told before and continues to tell over and over again. It’s time now to begin authoring my own life.

This bubbling brook began forming months ago. But it was reignited while I was in Sedona and heightened when I returned to Hawaii a week ago. While I was working and attempting to juggle seeing friends and family, I had a profound dream. I don’t remember what it was about or who was in it. But the message was clear:

“You need to survive this so you can write about it.”

The “this” the voice was talking about doesn’t matter. It could be the stress of the holidays, my fears, my health. But the decisiveness of the message and the feeling it left-a sense of hope and inspiration is what’s most important to me.

If you’re feeling worn down and out and have been thirsting to live, not just survive, you understand. You’re ready too.

One of my favorite songs these days is Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine. In it, she sings:

“it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back”

It made me wonder what devils, what fears, negativity, criticisms, are holding us back from living a life of meaning. And can we shake them off if we are aware of them? Will we choose to continue to walk on the same path that’s been cleared for us? And will we die that way? Or will we take a chance and be brave?

Avoiding the Well-Trodden Path

My husband and I went hiking this weekend. But we went late. And the directions on the map were unclear. The quickly setting sun was making my heart palpitate. We were lost. We couldn’t find the well-trodden path and we would soon lose the sun. So we threw our hands in the air, put away that map and made our own path. The experience was scary and yet invigorating. As we walked along the side of the mountain and heard what sounded like owls or cows (they all sound the same in the dark), I realized that all I needed was faith and intuition. We’ve gotten dependent on our technological tools to guide us. Perhaps the answer to living a more meaningful life lies inside of us. Perhaps we had our own inner map all along. But we’ve lost in along the way with cell phones and GPS, with cars, with experts telling us what to do. We gave up the thrill of our lives for the stability of a non-life.

If you want to live with meaning in 2012, toss that map you have in front of you. Take a risk. Follow your heart not your wallet. Yes it will be scary. Yes there will be bumps in the road. Yes there will be cows and owls and scarier things to persuade you to stop and get back on the “right” track. And you can choose to live that way. But since we only have this one life right now, why not consider just for a moment, what your life could be like…if you just took a chance?

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December 12th, 2011

The Missing Piece

{via colettepaperie from Etsy}

I’ve blogged about finding your calling here and here. But it seems as though I missed the boat when it comes to helping you find your dreams.

After you’ve discovered what you want. And you’ve thought about it. Wrote about it. Did what Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert does every day and write what you really, really, really want in your journal. Took all the steps to get to it. Marketed yourself. Educated yourself. Networked yourself crazy. But you are still here.

Waiting.

Praying.

Wondering.

Doubting.

Cause you’re still not where you want to be…

Maybe you’re starting to think taking that e-course would have been the way to go or that you shouldn’t have turned down that job offer you had recently. What’s taking SO long?! And why oh why haven’t you gotten there yet?!

I am an impatient person so I totally understand what you’re going through.

But the truth of the matter is the greatest obstacle that could be standing in the way of your dreams is…Y-O-U!

If you’ve ever questioned your talent, doubted your efforts, find yourself wondering if you’re really worthy of ______ (happiness, success, love, etc.), then you’re the one who’s holding yourself back.

The missing piece is you. It’s always been you.

It’s not your father, your teacher, your difficult client, your children, your siblings, your uncompassionate friend, your unsupportive spouse.

It’s you.

You are unfortunately and fortunately the thing in the way of your dreams.

And the only way you’re going to get there is to stop blaming others and start healing yourself.

How do you do that?

1. Bully yourself with love. When your thoughts are filled with negative self-talk, overpower them with positive words of self-love.

2. Remind yourself of what you’ve already accomplished. When faced with a new opportunity, you may automatically respond with the thought: “I can’t do that.” Tell yourself, “I already have.” Remember all the impossible feats you’ve already overcome.

3. Visualize yourself already there. Sometimes the fear that we can’t do something, sabotages our efforts. Visualizing that we’ve already achieved what we’re afraid of somehow makes the tasks seem less intimidating.

4. Remember why you want it. Focusing on why you’re doing what you’re doing can help alleviate some of the anxiety associated with success. If you’re intention is to help others, you will be less likely to shirk away from that next project because you’re focused on a larger goal.

5. Practice patience. When we are wounded, we put a band-aid over the sore spot to give it time to heal. It’s the same with our soul. Sometime it takes times to be where want to be. Have patience that you will get there. In the meantime, work on loving yourself. Work on healing the wounds of insecurity, rejection, unworthiness with love, acceptance, understanding.

Eventually, a new door will open. The question is, “Will you be ready for it?”

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November 7th, 2011

Having an Attitude of Gratitude

{From classy-in-the-city.tumblr.com}

 

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.”

–The Hausa of Nigeria

 

It’s easy to get cynical with life the older you get. A friend once said, “Growing older means accepting that less and less of your dreams are going to come true.”

You can look at it that way or you can see it as age forcing you to pump out your dreams faster.

Your dreams were never really an impossibility. Obstacles are just teachers in disguise.

The truth of the matter is the greater you perceive that challenge up ahead, the harder it will be. And the greatest detriment to getting there is your attitude.

As the bounty of summer gives way to the pause of winter, it’s a wonderful time to reflect on the changes in your life. You can choose to live in regret or you can be open to the storage of goods you have available at all seasons of your life.

Don’t have your dream job yet?

Find gratitude in the one that you have right now.

Don’t have your dream home yet?

Be grateful for the roof over your head.

Not where you want to be when it comes to friendships, career, love life, health, environment, etc.?

It’s only through completely accepting our experience {regardless of how much we want to avoid it} that we can finally find the open door.

The biggest detractor from our dreams is trying to cover up how we really feel to make the unpleasantness fade away. The problem is it never does. The days just get longer, the discomfort just gets greater, the darkness seeps into the cracks when we turn the other way.

To find the life that you want, you must first acknowledged the things that aren’t working, feel it, embrace it, and accept it.

Then, look for the streams of light in the areas of your life that are working and hold on to those.

To move forward, to follow your dreams, to live the life you have been dreaming about, you need to feel it all, and then come back to this:

gratitude

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October 31st, 2011

Facing the Things You Fear Most

 

H-A-P-P-Y                                          H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N! 

{pinterest photo. from reddit.com.}

In case you didn’t know, I’m a bit of a scaredy cat. I’m scared of oogly googly things like spiders, snakes, cockroaches. And I’m scared of loud noises like fireworks, balloons popping, gun shots and suspenseful movies.

I think in my former life I was a rabbit. I startle easy and like to be in quiet places.

But of all the things there are in the world to worry about, the thing that scares me most is not fulfilling my purpose.

It’s the thing that keeps me up late at night, that inspires me to keep working, to look for clues, to hunt down any inkling of desire I might have.

Because as you know, just when you think you know everything something changes to prove you wrong. 

I once heard that you’ll never stop wanting until you’re dead. That hopefully means we have a lot of wanting left in our lives. It means that there is no age limit on dream-seeking. That the only thing keeping you from pursuing your dreams is the limitations you create in your mind.

Yesterday, I was in yoga lying down in corpse position {ironic name} when these lines popped into my mind:

 

i am just a small spirit,

spinning, pulsating brightly through the limitations of this flesh covered body.

as an entity it is strong,

together with my soul it is powerful.

i extend a light through its fingers and twinkle its toes and experience what it’s like to be sensitive to sound, vulnerable to pain, and to feel both connected and disconnected at once.

it is fear and pain,

pure awareness abound.

a blessing to be awake, a gratitude to experience what it is to be alive.

it’s when the intensities too great,

when the light from spirit is low,

that’s when i long for respite,

to retreat to the sweet pleasantries of nothingness

to crawl out of this weak, all feeling body.

but it is with knowledge, with unexpected strength,

a treasure trove of goodness despite pain, despite discomfort, despite fear

that i keep my light flowing, courageously extending my glow, my energy,

my inner brilliance,

though it wax and wanes like a candle fragile to the wind,

i take the chance

because i remember

that in the end

it is worth it…

That poem was melding in my brain and it just rolled on out. To me, it means: Yes. Life is scary. Life is uncomfortable, awkward, painful, devastating, and disappointing. But it is also beautiful, hopeful, exciting and gives us the opportunity to grow, to feel and to change.

As you prepare for your Halloween party, fixing up some sweet treats and getting into your costumes, I hope you’ll remember that. Maybe the things that scare us are not so scary after all. Maybe they are just lessons waiting to be learned.

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October 24th, 2011

Bad Idea to Pursue Your Dreams?

{via flickr photo by acaben}

Should You Follow Your Bliss?

There’s been a lot of talk about Steve Jobs’s talk at Stanford’s Commencement Address in 2005. If you want to watch it yourself, go here. I personally found his speech on living your dreams inspiring. But of course I would right? I love inspirational things.

Then, I read this blog by Psychology Today called, “Should You Follow Your Bliss”? And I wasn’t so sure. Freelance writer Sarah Estes Graham shared my enthusiasm for Jobs’s speech, but with some reservations on how it could apply to all people, not just Steve Jobs. It watered down my passion just a bit.

I clicked on over to this article from Atlantic Monthly that she mentions called, “Follow Your Bliss-Sort Of.” I was even more distraught.

Journalist and senior editor Megan McArdle said:

“The problem is, the people who give these sorts of speeches are the outliers: the folks who have made a name for themselves in some very challenging, competitive, and high-status field. No one ever brings in the regional sales manager for a medical supplies firm to say, ‘Yeah, I didn’t get to be CEO.  But I wake up happy most mornings, my kids are great, and my golf game gets better every year.’”

McArdle felt that Steve Jobs was talking about what he knew best and that was how to be Steve Jobs. But what does that mean for the rest of us?

She concluded her article with what she tells budding journalists:

“…there are a lot of people who want to be journalists, and a shrinking number of well-paid steady jobs. Usually, what I tell them next is that it’s not a tragedy if they don’t do what they thought they wanted to do at 22; that they have more time than they think to figure out ‘what they want to do with the rest of their lives’; and that the world outside of school and words is more interesting than they probably suspect. That they should be prepared to take the risks involved in pursuing this career, but also to cut their losses.”

I think it’s great advice, but here’s my 2 cents.

I think both McArdle and Graham have a point. There is a difference between reality and fantasy. And no one ever wants to encourage bright-eyed students to believe the impossible is possible right?

Hmmm…I’d beg to differ.

I agree that Steve Jobs was a rare visionary and that there will be less people like him and Oprah and the other guests who speak at schools like Stanford. Maybe we can’t all quit our day jobs and pursue our dreams. And yes the truth of the economy and the state of unemployment are less romantic than the ideal he speaks of. But what’s wrong with hearing his story, having hope that we can fulfill our dreams and allowing ourselves to be inspired by its possibility?

Watching Steve Jobs, I didn’t think he was giving us a how-to, but a what-if or a why no. On a day to day basis, with Debbie Downer news reminding us about how far we’re falling down the rabbit hole, why can’t we revel in the romanticism? If not, why even try? Taking away the hope that we’ll achieve something (maybe not Steve Jobs grand) important to us is not just depressing, but it’s inhuman. It’d be like telling your 6-year-old all the reasons why everything he ever wanted in life is not only impossible, but doesn’t exist.

I also understand that people who feel like their dreams are too out of reach or who don’t know what their dreams are can feel discouraged in the light of someone that successful. And I agree with what McArdle says to college students about being okay with not know what they want to do with their life. I truly believe that life is about growing and when we grow our dreams change. We’re not supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives. We’re only to know what we want to do now.

In my opinion, Jobs and these two writers are talking about two separate things. Yes, we should be realistic about what we can or can’t do. We shouldn’t try to be a Steve Jobs or an Oprah Winfrey. We should be the best of ourselves. And that’s what I got from his speech. The hope, possibility and inspiration to pursue what’s right for us. Not to fight to be someone else. The former will help motivate us to keep persevering when our dreams feel to far away and the latter will mostly end in failure.

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