June 9th, 2009
You’ve done it! You’ve made that big decision, dealt with your feelings of impending fear and doom, and you’ve acted on it. So now what?!
In Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star, that period between your old and new self is where “square one” takes place. So if you’re experiencing even more fear now than before and questioning if you made the right decision, know that you’re on the right path. Square one is all about figuring out who you are now.
Now that for example, you’re _____ (Pregnant, married, divorced or unemployed? Fill in the blank with your change in identity here.), you might feel like you’re going through an identity crisis. This decision may have caused a change in who you thought you were or who you thought you would become.
The best way to deal?
- Look forward not behind. Remind yourself of why you made the decision in the first place and focus on that.
- Get protected. Protect yourself by surrounding yourself with others who have gone through similar circumstances or read about them in books or online. Find great friends and loved ones who you can rely on to vent during these uncertain times.
- Be kind to yourself. Know that what you’re feeling is normal and realize that you’ll eventually get through it. Most importantly, it’ll be a whole lot easier, the faster you’re able to accept yourself and your situation.
May 28th, 2009
Atop my desk, right in front of my computer monitor is an index card with the words, “Trust your instincts!” It’s a reminder to me about the importance of reaching down deep and learning to become conscious and aware of what my body is telling me. Intuition is an important sense, one that we often ignore. Too often we rely on our thinking mind to make important decisions for us when we’re on the fence, swaying between one choice and the next. While using logic has its part in the process, intuition also has a significant role.
About seven years ago, something happened to me that changed my vision of intuition forever. I was in my room taking a nap, something I used to do regularly for 3 hours at a time almost daily. Well after only an hour of rest, I felt a strong pull to wake up. I didn’t question it but followed my instincts and got up in a foggy haze. I was confused when I looked at the clock and saw that I had only slept for an hour, but went straight to the bathroom anyway to splash water on my face. That’s when I heard a loud crash coming from my room. I went to see what the racket was and in my sleepy state saw that the wire holding the ceiling fan was severed. The fan which was on while I was asleep and that had been directly over my bed, had crashed on my bed and tumbled, still spinning, to the floor. If I had still been lying there, I would have been badly hurt. Thank goodness I woke up in time!
This story is my saving grace and continues to remind me about the importance of following your instincts because you never know what situations, though it might not be a ceiling fan, may befall you.
April 27th, 2009
John and Sherry did it when they decided to go from advertising copywriters of a well-known ad agency to Sherry working full-time on their delicious blog This Young House. David Wroblewski nailed it when he went from successful software programmer to first time best-selling novelist of The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. What do they have in common? They took that big leap into the world of the unknown.
At every fork in the road, we have two choices: we can either take the easy road and save our dreams for a rainy day or we can venture out even before we feel ready to meet fear head on and take that leap. Before I started writing again, I thought that I had to wait for something, for permission, a sign, anything, to make sure I was on the right path. What I learned was that to do something you want to do…you actually have to do it! What a concept. The difficult part, however, is to deal with the fears that starts to come up when you want your dream to be more than something that happens when you’re asleep. Questions like, “Will I be good enough?” start to creep up. Right now, I’m working on an article that hopefully will get published. It’s exciting yet scary. It’s easier to stay where you are then to take that big leap into the unknown. But whenever I get to that scary place, I remember that millions of people have already done what I’m doing, and they survived…even better than that is that they lived!