For the past week I’ve been fighting a cold. I say fighting because not only was my body fighting germs, but I was fighting with myself (Do nothing and feel guilty vs. Do something and stay sick longer).
In the end, I fought the urge to be productive and succumbed to the highly seductive task of sleeping in, not exercising and reading.
What did I learn?
It was a lot harder to do nothing than it would have been if I had gone to zumba for an hour every day like I normally would. And in the end, I did do a few crafts and exercise a few days last week.
But what I learned was that the most difficult part was shifting my perspective from, “If I don’t do anything, my world will come crumbling down” to trusting that everything was already working fine without me and would continue to do so whether I was working or sleeping.
Instead of working half-butt on my biz with minimal energy, I focused inward on the self-doubt and anxiety that started to arise when I was doing nothing. I meditated, read Martha Beck and stared off in space a lot.
And somewhere in between, I had a sudden feeling of peace and assurance that my business wouldn’t fail if I took a break. That what was lacking in my job search and query writing was faith. I needed to learn how to trust that everything would work out in the end. And that I could really only do so much.
If I was going to get the clients I wanted to work with and the jobs that inspired me, I realized that I needed to start with a relaxed state of mind. Desperation, anxiety and fear were only going to attract negative energy and situations to me. I know because it already had, in the past.
And you know what?
A week has passed. I am no longer sick. I am well-rested, refreshed, optimistic and have a whole slew of potential clients just from this past week.
The best part? I don’t have to worry anymore. Because when I wasn’t looking, the world kept turning and going along just fine, without me.