It’s Not About Finding Your Purpose

Accepting who you are warts and all

When I started this blogging journey, it was all about my writing. I wanted a place to pursue my passion. I wanted an arena to showcase my work and a venting spot to unleash my unexpressed writing dream. Since then, I’ve moved to Hawaii, bought a house, suffered from a few chronic illnesses and had a baby. Through it all, I realized the journey has molded my intention rather than the other way around. Instead of a place to inspire creativity and to get more writing gigs, it opened up my soul. It’s not just about finding our purpose or living our dreams. It’s about loving your life and finding a way to accept wherever we are in the process. It’s about self-acceptance. Patience. Faith. And courage.

I realized this because I found myself getting too attached to external circumstances. How many people were viewing my blog? How many freelance writing jobs was I getting? Was my work good enough?

Understandable questions to ask when striving for freelance writing success. But it was the meaning I placed on professional achievement and positive feedback that was wonky. Success, attention, like Lady Gaga’s new song, Applause, should not equal self-worth.

Doing well in your profession is important. Never giving up on your dreams is important. But more than anything else, our goal in life should be to find ways to love our self.

Basing who you are and your value on feedback from others or from success will inevitably deplete you. What nourishes our soul, what we’re really looking for, isn’t temporary validation through external sources. What lasts longer than a complement is the belief that regardless of what we accomplish, our lives mean something.

And that doesn’t have to mean BIG, grand, dramatic things. Just because your neighbor, a Facebook friend or a relative has done something so fabulous it leaves your life seem boring and worthless in comparison, doesn’t mean your less valuable than them. Just because you haven’t found “it” yet (great job, relationship, etc.), doesn’t mean you should walk around with your head down and your voice squelched.

It’s not about what you do that matters. You matter because you are here.

The secret is not in uncovering what will make us shine. The secret is that we don’t know we’re worthy of shining.

If we could all take that in on a deep level, the world would be a kinder, more loving, compassionate place to live. When we’re not trying to convince others of our worthiness, we’re ourselves. Being authentically you and feeling good in your own skin are the ways to happiness.

And your true calling?

It will find you on that path.

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Fall Season Fun

Sorry I’ve been so out of touch lately. My excuses start with baby and end with work. Not much in-between time to do the fun stuff like blogging. But while I have a few minutes, I wanted to share a fall quickie that’s add a touch of autumn to our all-year-round summer Hawaii home.

Double Pumpkins

Basically, I bought two miniature pumpkins from the market at $.79 each and placed them on a decorative bowl I already had from Target. I haven’t decided whether I’m going to decorate these guys yet. Time (if there’s any leftover) will tell. {P.S. Thank you Fotor photo for helping me step up it a notch with pretty picture effects.}

mini pumpkins

{I’ve been dropping pumpkins around the house for a sum total of 4 – me, my husband, our new baby and our old baby bunny.}

Gratitude bowl

This idea was inspired by my favorite bloggers Young House Love. Basically, as a way to keep gratitude and love alive especially in a new baby/two work-at-home parents household, I adopted an idea to preserve, recognize and appreciate my spouse through a gratitude bowl. It’s as easy as take note of something your loved one did, write it on a post-it and drop it in. I’m hoping to read these coming Thanksgiving and save them in what I hope will be our 2013 photo album.

How about you? What have you been busy creating this season?

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What You Take for Granted

It’s easy to take life for granted. I have a butt-shaped indentation on my couch to prove it.

Every morning I go from my bed to my desk to my couch. Most days I muster up enough energy to go to the gym. But I spent the majority of my waking hours planted in a chair, a couch or my bed.

Not very inspiring. And I have to admit, as someone who loves to use my writing to inspire others, I was in dire need of a shot of inspiration.

I found it on a trip to Arizona recently. What I discovered in gold autumn leaves and rust colored red mountains was an insane amount of gratitude.

I felt this tiny.

In a world that was this big.


And I realized that all around us are pockets of inspiration.

It is in that big sky with stars that really do twinkle like diamonds, in the wind that gracefully shakes autumn leaves and in the transition from one season to the next that does so seamlessly, automatically, without fail.

We’re often just too busy to witness it.

While we’re running around preparing fancy holiday dinners and finding the “right” outfit for our next party, we’re MISSING it!!

And that makes me so sad. It reminds me of a poem I wrote last year in December. Here it is. Hope it will remind all of us to pause a little during the busiest time of the year.

Winter Poem

I don’t worry about getting to the mall on time,

Or pushing past cars to get to the head of the line.

I only worry about the bright leaves like lemons hanging on a fading tree.

The piles of yellow, orange and red that start slow,

And cascade down like molasses,

Gradual, then

Falling quick and swinging

Like a pendulum,

Back and forth,

Tumbling ever so carefully

Like white grains of sand,

Sliding down silky formed hourglass,

Into piles of time.

I grieve the bareness of the decrepit trees that remain

Standing like tombstones in a funeral line

Quietly choosing its next victim.

I see the child waiting to kick the fallen pile,

The season in transition

Preparing to change hands as athletes passing a baton,

Exchanging life from fall to winter,

And though those mounds of bright yellow leaves are an accumulation of summers and springs long ago,

Happy youth,

Well-worn memories,

I bemoan the loss.

I grieve for those who don’t see it

Honking their horns

In a futile attempt to go an inch closer to nowhere.

I worry about them and the world

And the preciousness of those leaves

Passing by my window,

Falling forever unnoticed.

I worry about who will pick them up

Or if they will stay and melt into the ground.

As I move forward,

I am conscious of the passing

and sadness creeps

anxiety beckons

as I realize

I cannot control it,

And though I’d love to sit there and pause

And watch as another leaf falls,

I know I too cannot stop.


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