Posts tagged ‘Following your dream’

February 13th, 2012

Did I Make the Right Decision?

I used to admire friends who could end a relationship when everything was still hunky dory because they knew it wasn’t the right one for them. It was a strong indication of their ability to follow their instincts and trust their own intuition.

I have always been a doubter trying to practice a little more faith. But recently all that leaning I was doing on the side of stability and security made me feel stuck. It also made me feel like a coward.

How could I possibly keep blogging here about courage, if I was living life with my tail between my legs?

So after 6 months of hemming and hawing and feeling stuck, I decided to do something CrAzY!

I decided to follow my dreams, listen to my intuition and abandon that little voice inside my head that said, “Who do you think you are?!” And I did it anyway.

After two years of loving my job at Psych Central (I was even recently mentioned in this article about my work for the company), I decided it was time to say goodbye. And I did it the careless way, the way people say you should never do it. I quit without a backup (with just a few gigs-a.k.a. my column with The Writer magazine and my biweekly blogs for Psych Central).

I decided I wanted to return to writing and not just editing. I wanted to stop being afraid and take a big risk. And so I did.

Making the Right Decision is Scary

Although I think I made the right decision, the process was still scary. I had no excuses, no upcoming jobs and a lot of self-doubt. I realized then that I DEFINITELY made the right decision. Why?

I was catching up on old Oprah’s Lifeclass reruns when I heard Iyanla Vanzant talk about self-growth. She said humorously and truthfully:

“If you’re not living your life at such a certain level, you have some fear, you’re living too small. If you don’t have some trembling then you’re living too small…If pee is not running down your leg, you are living too small because that means you’re in control and you’re too comfortable and you can handle it. When you are comfortable, you are not growing.”

Then guess what happened?

I saw a job ad for a writer/editor position. But not just any position. It was for a company that I had been dreaming about writing for since I began full-time freelancing, about 5 years ago. I subscribed to all of their email newsletters and tweet their posts. I have been waiting for an opening for a very long time. And there it was. I was afraid and applied anyway.

I received a call two days later. I found out that the position was in-house and since moving to Virginia wasn’t on our agenda, I was pretty disappointed. But decided to ask if maybe there were other opportunities available in which I could write telecommute instead.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yep. They had an opening for a blogger position on their health website. And they had been looking for awhile. I couldn’t believe my luck. Or faith? Or intuition?

So I have my own column there and you’ll be able to read about emotional health and wellness 4 days a week on my new blog Happy Haven! I’ll still be posting here, my writing site and my column for The Writer too. Hope to connect with you on one of the them soon!

CategoryDealing with Fear, Inspired Life | Comment6 Comments »

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July 11th, 2011

Asking Sherry Petersik from Young House Love

A few years ago, I emailed my role model bloggers John and Sherry Petersik of YoungHouseLove never expected I would get a response. And certainly not expecting the response that I got. I was blown away by Sherry’s kindness, sincerity and generosity. She was just SO cool and just like I’d imagined her to be-full of energy and passion for what she does-a true inspiration to me.

Below is her email, which I broke up into helpful themes categorizing their phenomenal success. Although I’ve posted this before, I’m reposting this here as part of my new “life is easy” mentality so you too can be inspired in various ways all in one easy and convenient place. Have fun reading!

Luck & Gratitude

 ”We have definitely had a series of lucky breaks to end up where we are today in the blog world, and for that we’re eternally thankful. We never solicited these mentions, people found us and liked what they saw- which is truly amazing and we still pinch ourselves when we think about it!”

Opportunity

“It might not have been the job that we always wanted, but once we started to grow and get such a great response it quickly became clear that it was what we loved doing, and we’d do anything we could to keep it going and help it grow even more!”

Talent & Hard Work

 ”I also think a lot of our success has to do with the fact that we’re actually writers (I used to be a copywriter and John’s still in advertising to this day) and we truly love to write (we ENJOY it and it’s never a chore) and we try very hard to come up with creative and unexpected approaches to decorating that won’t break the bank (which is really something that people can relate to these days). I’m not gonna lie- it’s the hardest job we’ve ever had. We work weekends and nights and we’re never really “off” because the internet is 24/7 and someone always has a question or places an order that we have to fill. Our to-do list is always eons long- and of course we still have to find time to write posts and complete house projects to keep people coming back! In short, it’s definitely a lot of work but it’s also rewarding and creative and challenging too. And we love a challenge!”

Passion

“I have no idea what I would be doing if I didn’t have the blog to keep me busy. Probably still writing copy for advertising (which I also enjoyed, I even wrote some celebrity stuff for the Got Milk campaign when we were in NYC). But the blog brings a different sort of independent satisfaction. We do it all and we’re the boss and we decide everything that happens with it and that’s very satisfying and empowering. Plus I’m just crazy about design and decorating and online shopping and color and art so it’s a great combination of a ton of things that really float my boat!”

Dreams

“I think our dream was to create a place that we’d love to drop in on (a site with tutorials and info and nice people who actually answer questions and emails), so we created the thing that we hadn’t found yet and people really seem to be happy that we did.”

CategoryInspiring People | CommentNo Comments »

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May 16th, 2011

When You’re Feeling Uninspired

Life is wonderful and exciting. And behind every turn, there is a wealth of magic and possibility.

But that could sound like crap to you right now.

As sappy as one of those greeting cards that make you gag when you see them.

So maybe you’re not there yet.

Maybe you’re not even close.

But that’s okay. I’ve been there lots of times. And feeling blah, uninspired and unmotivated are normal and can actually be helpful.

Here are few things I learned that lead to a life uninspired. Read it for tips on how to pull yourself out of the trenches and back on that path to an inspired life:

1. Loss of connection.

We’re so “connected” these days. Yet, we’re probably cozying up with our computer more than we’re spending time with our “real” friends and ourselves.

It’s so easy to get lost in tweets, updates and chatting online that we start to neglect the real emotional connections in our lives.

When I’m feeling uninspired, it’s usually because I’m experiencing some type of disconnection. And it’s not social connection, but a spiritual one. When I’ve stopped seeing synchronistic events it’s a sign that I need to start getting back in touch with myself. Meditation, prayer can help. But so can journal writing and just sitting in breathing for 5 minutes.

Ask yourself how you are feeling right now? What thoughts, emotions or beliefs have you been avoiding or denying? Take time to get back in touch with what’s going on with you and see if you’re feelings of disconnection is the cause of you feeling uninspired.

2. You’re doing too much.

Oh life as an entrepreneur/work at home mom/writer/designer, etc is so easy right? In reality, anything we do these days is too much. If I wanted to, I could work every day and night and weekends and still not get to the to-do list piled up on the side of my bed. As it stands, I have over 20 books I’d love to read, three ideas for essays in my head and a few long feature articles that are due by the end of the month.

But no matter how easy it is to get lost in all of our work, it’s so important to resist the urge to give in.

The obvious fact is that there will always be more to do tomorrow, but at the end of our lives we’re not going to think about how much we finished on our to-do lists, but how well we lived. Think about how important it is to finish those tasks. If you never get to them, how much would it affect your quality of life. Then, prioritize according to your answer.

3. Feeling unfulfilled.

I think emotions are a good thing. Even the negative ones. Why? Because they provide hints to where we are in our lives.

Maybe the reason why you’re feeling uninspired is you’re doing things that don’t fill you up.

Maybe the job/relationship you have used to serve you, but you’ve gotten to a point where things feel stagnant. Maybe you need to come up with new ways to make things more interesting. Say you broach a new idea to your boss/client that will help flex your creative muscle or you talk to your partner about going on a trip or discuss what’s been bothering you. Try doing something different to and it will help you grow as a person.

If you’ve made the effort to grow and challenge yourself and the career or relationships around you are not giving you the freedom to do so, you may want to consider moving on to more fertile ground.

Are you feeling uninspired now? Or have you felt that way in the past? What helped pull you out of blahville and back into a purpose driven life?

CategoryInspired Life | Comment5 Comments »

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April 25th, 2011

Finding Your Calling, Part 2

{flickr photo by Callt_o}

6 Proven Tips for Finding Your Calling

Author of Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life Gregg Levoy gave a talk a few weeks ago in Mountain View about his book and finding your purpose. This is part 2 of the talk. Part 1 can be read here.

He asked people how they interpreted random events as proof they had found their calling. Here are their answers:

1. Repeat visits.

One person said they knew that they had found their calling because it kept coming back and never went away.

Have you ever had something happen to you and it happened over and over again?

About a decade ago, I was sitting on the floor in Borders’s career section desperate and lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up and I felt I was old enough to know by now. It was a frustrating experience. But in time I started to get signs. I heard about a new program in psychology from a friend. Then, I found an ad in the paper on a class teaching a course related to that program. I began hearing and seeing psychology everywhere. Eventually I got it and enrolled in the MA program in Counseling Psychology.

2. Multiple angles.

It came from all different directions. That’s what another person said. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream and read a book about something and then got feedback from a friend about it later? That’s called clustering and Levoy said it happens where dots begins to form in different areas of your life. And all you need to do is begin connecting them.

It happened to me when I was reading this book. Several times. On one occasion, I went to a cottage in Point Reyes for the weekend. I noticed a sign on the gate door. We passed it every time we left. It was a quote from Annie Dillard that said, “How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives.”

Now I hadn’t ever heard of Annie Dillard, but I took a picture of the sign because I thought it was a nice quote.

Moments later while I was in the cottage, I read that same exact quote from the same exact person.

The next day, we were in the town’s bookstore and guess what I saw? A book by author Annie Dillard.

What was the “sign” in that situation? It was a reminder to me that I needed to slow down and be conscious of how I was spending my time. It was a wake up call. One that only came to me several days later.

3. Intuition.

Have you ever done something that “just felt right” in your soul?

Maybe you took a class that really moved you or you read something or heard a talk that you really connected with. Those are all signs from your intuition, your gut instinct that you are on the right path. Keep taking steps in that direction (kind of like playing “hot and cold” as a kid). Go closer to the events that feel hot and move away from the things that feel cold and you will discover your calling sooner than later.

4. Scared poop-less.

One person said that they knew they were on the right path because it “scared the daylight’s out of” them. Levoy said,”If a path feels safe and easy you’re probably not on the right path.”

I used to think that if things were easy then that meant you were where you were supposed to be. I think that’s because I was too scared to do anything risky.

In reflection, however, anything that ever scared me (being on a radio show), anything that forced me to look deep inside myself and pull out the courage I didn’t know I had (being on TV), was where real growth occurred. It’s where one step lead to another step and that move led to my dreams.

You will not live an authentic life. You will not live the life of your dreams unless you take big risks. Life demands your courage. Your dreams can only become a reality when you step up to the plate. You have it in there. But first you must work on your courage.

5. Find your answers in the results.

A lot of times we don’t know we are on the right path until we know. You can’t sit in your house and dream big dreams, then do nothing about them. My theory is that successful people got where they are because they tried. They failed as hard as they succeeded. But they were successful because they didn’t stop.

Levoy said to take a step toward your dreams and pay attention. Think about how you feel at every corner, every step, every action and inaction. Use the experience as an experiment and you will eventually find the answers you are looking for.

There is no perfect formula for finding your dreams. A lot of it is trial and error. Most of it is learning to be mindful, to pay attention, to listen to what you already knew when you were a kid.

The hardest part of finding your calling is not in discovering it. It is in rediscovering it and then working through the fear to get to it.

This is a extensive topic so I will be writing part 3, which is all about fear. Stay tuned for that in an upcoming post.

CategoryFinding Your Purpose | CommentNo Comments »

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April 19th, 2011

Calling All Groupies: Here’s Your Chance to Participate

{flickr photo: Bob.Fornal}

If you want to participate in our Callings group, comment below if you would like to participate as the focal person or a group member.

This is the first time I’m attempting this, but I’m excited about the possibilities.

There are a few of you who have already commented. Mrs. Kristin Offiler on Facebook and Miss Amber.

So here’s how it will go. I think we’ll try it here first.

  1. First, we choose the focal person (the person who would like to have a question answered on their calling-questions like, “Should I quit my day job and pursue my calling?”).
  2. Then, the focal person will leave a comment with their question below.
  3. After we have read the question carefully and with an open heart, we will each reply to the focal person with another question.
  4. Make sure this question is not judgmental and that it is not attempting to play devil advocate in anyway (e.g. trying to sway a person’s view through questioning). But just allow anything that comes up. Ask questions that spark curiosity. Ask questions that inspire your inner child. No advice or commenting allowed.
  5. The focal person would answer these questions as they come.
  6. We could do this at least in one round or two depending on how the focal person feels. It should only take a handful of minutes. In person, it took us about 30 min.

Here is an example of what I mean:

Focal person: Should I quit my day job and pursue my dream to be a writer?

Group member A: What would it feel like to be a writer?

Focal person: It would be fun, inspiring, nice, etc.

Group member B: What is your greatest fear about quitting your day job?

Focal person: Not making enough $, etc.

What do you think?

Are you interested?

The event will take place here next Tuesday, April 26th at 2pm PT.

CategoryFinding Your Purpose | Comment3 Comments »

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