Adjusting to a New Place

{by The Inspiring Bee}

Life is not supposed to be easy.

We’re not meant to sit in hammocks and twiddle our thumbs. We’re grown to be both hard and soft, both strong and vulnerable. We’re built to withstand hardship and to be supple and weak. We know this as children. We know it inherently, which is why children laugh as hard as they cry, play as hard as they sleep. We just forget as we lose our baby fat and childlike sensibilities.

But life does not want us to stay set in our own ways. It wiggles and shakes us to move. It sends storms our way and removes our umbrellas, raincoats and even the roof over our head in an effort to remind us: “You were meant to live BIG!”

It calls us over and makes us say things like:

“This is so unfair. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Why me??!!!”

And when we’re on the floor, sobbing in waves, breathless and tired and weak, it shows us a light. It reminds us that through sorrow and struggle, a door opens. It’s THE way. The path that was always meant for us to walk through. We just were too busy trying to lose weight, buy the perfect house or carve out the perfect life, to see it.

But as the dust settles and we find our place, the light, which was peaking through a small crack in the door grows brilliant. It shines over us and heals what we didn’t know needed healing. We realize that what once we labeled “tragic” was an unexpected blessing.

The new place feels unfamiliar and scary, but we dip our toes in it anyway. We sense as we leave our old life, a shift. We feel both sad about what we’ve lost, but ever hopeful for what we’re about to gain. It’s through this process of continuing to have hope and faith that lands us to the life we were meant to live. It’s the breaking through that gives the journey meaning.

As I walk on sand instead of concrete, my physical move has taken shape to an emotional one. Life cannot exist independent on what we’re going through internally. We must also shift with our physical experience and circumstances. In light of what ever you are going through, remember that where you are now is where you are supposed to be. Remember that you have the tools to get you through whatever you’re going through. And above all this, remember the light of grace that will always pave the way even when the world seems to have gone dark.

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How Much of an Impact Do You Really Have in the World?

Your True Purpose

There will come a time when you doubt your influence and significance in life. Maybe in your twenties you thought you were invincible and believed that you had the power to change the world.

In your thirties, your dreams began to shift a bit. You scaled them down as other things and people took priority.

Somewhere along the way you began to lose sight of your dreams. You now worry that you may never fulfill your purpose. And that regardless of any fame or recognition you’ve gotten over the life of your career, the most important thing is having a sense of purpose and meaning. But you’re not even sure you managed to do that.

Here’s what I think. I think you deserve a pass. Just for today, consider the impact you have by just being here.

Don’t believe me?

Ask your kids, your friends, your partner, what you do for them that makes them happy and what they love most about you. It won’t be your job promotion, your book hitting the best seller list or anything else you think you need to have in order to have a meaningful life.

My grandfather, for example, had one of the biggest influence on my life. Not because he worked three jobs on the plantation to support his family. In fact, on paper he didn’t do anything grand or momentous except for the fact that he loved his family and he loved me. He had a very simple, ordinary life.

Sometimes we get too hard on ourselves for not “making it in life.” We’re not all meant to be millionaires, best-selling authors, and spiritual gurus. What we are meant to do is to truly be who we are.

Just by the act of being authentic we free ourselves and others to be the loving, influential beings we are all meant to be.

For today, try learning to wear a garment of gratitude instead of hard cold armor. Try it and in doing so, watch as the meaning, and influence you’ve always wanted doesn’t just flow into your life effortlessly.

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Remembering What’s Important

I sometimes forget what I’m doing here. I knew what it was when I was a kid. Maybe it was to cover my grandma with a blanket when she was cold or to make my family laugh when they were upset. But it felt true and real then. As I got older, my purpose got a little blurry.

Maybe it was the fear of not being able to financially support myself, the idea that had been pounded into me-that I needed to get a “real” job or that I somehow lost who I was a long the way. But whatever it was that I thought I needed to do only seemed to get worse the older I got.

Others who were on the same path as me eventually lost and found their own way. They got married, had families and created new dreams. I was still there as lost as ever.

But through the pain of feeling like the last one to take the leap, I discovered ways to rise through the uncertainties. I never took a shortcut on my path. Instead I learned that by being completely present and focused on this moment. I didn’t need to know what was going to happen next. The funny thing is that even if we really want to know, we can’t.

Fight Uncertainty With Patience and Presence

It seems crazy to think that being mindful could help solve the things that ail you. But it’s what has helped me. In fact, it’s what led me to California from Hawaii 8 years ago. It was a desire I had to move to the mainland. I put that desire out and let it go. A year later, I was reading a newspaper when a local college course on health psychology and stress management sparked my interest. That class confirmed my decision to get my Masters and the one school I found that had a Health Psychology emphasis was Santa Clara University in Northern California.

All those tiny steps led me here.

It’s what helps remind me what’s important to me in the moment. It guides me when I’m feeling lost.

If you’re riding the same boat as me and fearful of the next wave, take heart. Remember that the only thing you need to do is to get through this moment. The better you’re able to deal with the moment you’re in, the more you’re able to accept and embrace it for what it is, the stronger, more certain you will be when that wave hits.

If I have learned anything on this crazy journey is that we all have the answers to our every question. What we need to do is carefully remove each layer of false beliefs, fear, and defense mechanisms that threaten to sabotage our life.

The only way to get there is through compassion, patience and learning to feel whatever you’re feeling in every moment. It ain’t easy dear friend. But who said life was going to be?

Whenever I’m feeling lost again, I remember what is important. It’s the you and them in the right here and right now. Everything else is just a what if, a whim and a possibility. Those things will come later. Let’s just dance in the unknown and celebrate the breath that you’re taking in the now.

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