Posts tagged ‘mindfulness’

December 5th, 2012

Making Peace With Where You Are Right Now

I’m going to confess something that I’m sure 90% of you won’t understand or agree with. Here it is. I hate living in Hawaii. Okay maybe hate is too harsh of a word. “Strongly dislike” or “difficult to adjust” may be closer to what I mean.

Yes, I know griping about a place with year-round summer weather and presidential beaches (Pres. Obama does come here at least once a year) sounds like a whine from a hard-to-please 4-year-old. It sounds ridiculous to my own ears. But having lived here my whole life and having come back, I am completely sure that being here isn’t exactly for me.

I actually miss the brisk autumn weather, the smell of firewood, the golden color of fall leaves. I miss cuddling up on the couch, the change of the seasons, the freedom to drive somewhere fun on a whim.

That being said, I can gripe and pout (which I swear I’ve done enough of already) or I can see this as another opportunity to stretch my comfort zone. I realized last night that this was again another lesson to be learned. I could begrudgingly go on as I have been or try to find a purpose for being here.

Maybe you love where you live, but don’t feel at home in your own skin, at a job, or in a relationship. It’s all the same. When we’re feeling unwelcome in an environment and when we think we “should” feel comfortable, that’s when suffering begins. On a larger scale, it’s being okay with where you are situationally as well as physically and emotionally. It’s all the same whether you’re in a job you hate or you’re stuck in a state you don’t mesh well with like me. How do you find peace and happiness when where you are is not where you want to be?

Practice patience. Patience is something I grapple with often. But I realize that’s probably why I’m being tested with it again and again. On days when I can’t wait any longer for things to settle, I remember that it took me 3 years to love California, so 5 months is hardly enough time to like it here. How do I practice patience? Meditating helps as does being out in nature. Any activity that forces me to focus on the present moment instead of how much I’d rather be somewhere else is essential in moments like these.

Learn acceptance. Acceptance isn’t the same thing as settling. It means accepting the moment that you’re in right now. You might not like it, but so it is. Once we stop resisting and accept the situation we’re in, something wonderful happens. Some of the pain of being where you are dissipates.

Find the silver lining. Maybe your job is tedious or your apartment is noisy. But if you look hard enough, you might find that what you do love about your work is your co-workers or that where you’re living is convenient to stores. Even I have to admit that being within 15 minutes from the beach is a blessing. Every situation has its good and its bad. It just depends how you look at it.

Be grateful. Where you are currently isn’t exactly where you’d like to be. But there is still something to be grateful for in every situation. You have a job and a roof over your head. For me, it’s being near family and to the beach. When we focus on the little things we have to be grateful for, we attract more things to be grateful in our life.

Visualize what you do want. Incessant complaining won’t get you far. If you want to change your situation, do what you can to make tiny changes to get to where you want to be. Spend a few minutes every day dreaming up your best life. What does it feel like to be there? Who’s with you? What are you doing? Even spending a little time in your dream life can raise your mood, empower you and draw hope back into your life. All necessary ingredients for getting you to where you want to be.

What helps you feel better when you’re unhappy with where you are?

 

CategoryFollowing Your Dreams, Gratitude, Inspired Life | Comment1 Comment »

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October 9th, 2012

What We Can All Learn from KONY 2012 Filmmaker Jason Russell

{surprise flowers from my husband.}

I’m ashamed to say I didn’t hear about Kony 2012 until Oprah’s Next Chapter. Then I found out about filmmaker Jason Russell’s sharp rise to million YouTube viewers fame and steep drop to a nervous breakdown hell. I’m not going to go into the details here. For that, you can see clips from the original video below.

What I can say is that hearing his story moved me in a significant way. And although I haven’t ever went on a public tirade or garnered a million viewers, I can relate.

Why?

Because there is a part of us that deeply desires to make a difference. There is a vast calling within us to fix the injustices of the world. And I believe there is a hidden sense of guilt that passes over us every time we watch the news, pass a homeless person or hear about a tragedy. If given free reign and voice to express our passions, how far would we go to control it? Would it consume us?

We never think about that when pursuing our dreams.

We think about getting there. We drool over the life we’ve been painting in our minds. We pull our energies to focus on what needs to get done. We don’t think about how we will deal with it when it comes.

I think we can learn a lot about Russell’s journey.

To prepare for the life we want, to brace for the wave of pulsating energy coming our way to get us to our dreams, we need to take time now to breathe. We need to surrender to the moment we’re in right now. We need to taste the salt from the ocean as much as we inhale its beauty in our memories.

When the wave comes we can surrender or become engulfed in it. Russell’s story teaches us that the only way to survive the impact is to be present, still and strong in who we are right now. On a small scale, it can teach us how we cope with life. It is the difference between allowing your breath to heal you and wash away your thoughts versus allowing it to obsessively take over your mind. You can relinquish your control over what is or you can use your energy to fight it.

In the end, if every challenge is a teacher, then allow this moment, this current challenge to be the quiz before the big test.

Right now, stop what you are doing, close your eyes, and feel the you that sits in your body. Be present in the knowledge that you are more than the things that you do, the dreams you accomplish and the success you have. You are that and everything else. Be still and acknowledge your perfect existence in an imperfect world. In doing this, you will practice shutting down the egoic mind to hear your true self.

Yes we all need to go to work, to write, to create, to tend to our children, to take care of our lives. But within the busyness of life there is peace. Let Russell’s story remind us that presence and stillness are just as important as achieving and making a difference. When life gets too hectic, remember restoration, rejuvenation and rest are always just a breath away…

Jason Russell: Why the Kony 2012 Phenomenon Was Like a Tsunami

Within 24 hours of its release online, the Invisible Children documentary Kony 2012 had more than a million views. In a week, it reached 100 million. Filmmaker Jason Russell says that what started as a wave became a tsunami. Watch as he explains what was going through his mind when the film became a phenomenon.

CategoryBurnout, Daily Inspirations, Finding Your Purpose, Get More By Doing Less | CommentNo Comments »

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June 1st, 2012

Where the Answers Are

{flickr photo}

I spent the long holiday weekend in Georgia where my husband and I had one adventure after another. We saw alligators, hiked through the sweltering heat, and biked in a downpour. But of everything we saw, witnessed, and adored, it was a single activity that brought me back to peace. And why Georgia’s still on my mind.

It was a labyrinth on a farm that got me to where the answers are. Beneath the haven of a green Georgia tree, there was a rock labyrinth. It was bigger than the one we walked in Sedona. But just as beautiful. Without word, we went straight toward it. And like a record player, followed the grooves, falling deeper and deeper into a sense of peace.

When you’re busy moving through life, you forget the little things.  When you’re on your iPhone, you don’t feel the breeze on your face. You don’t hear the birds chirping out the window. You don’t give yourself enough time, space or silence before you fill it with busyness. And that’s a shame. Because under that tree, walking upon the earth, you’ll find the answers that you’ve been searching for.

There’s something about walking slowly that awakens the spirit. It’s the feeling of the ground upon your feet, the pause between steps, that makes every step feel intentional, with purpose, instead of towards a single goal.

But it is also the labyrinth itself that has a way of telling the story of your life. As my husband and I…

{Read more on my new blog Happy Haven for Beliefnet Health.}

CategoryDaily Inspirations | CommentNo Comments »

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January 30th, 2012

Find Magic in Your Every Day

It’s easy to fly right by the magic that’s right there in front of you. To give you a good example, I’ll tell you a story.

Why I’m Sun Obsessed

I used to have bad seeing challenged eyes. Before lasik, I couldn’t read anything unless I squished it right up against my nose. My mom says it’s because I used to oogle bright lights for hours as a baby. I was mesmerized by them. Though I don’t always believe her stories are 100% accurate, I believe this one. Mostly because I have the same bad habit. I can hardly look away from the sun-it’s giant orange orb fascinates me. My husband has to stop and remind me we weren’t meant to stare into the eyes of the sun. Staring won’t, for example, reveal any well-hidden life truths.

Well, today I wear sunglasses and I still sort of stare at it, at an angle, through camera lenses. I’m stubborn, I know. But I’m stubborn for a purpose. When I gaze at the sun setting on the day, I see things that move me. As I watch that deep bright orb, I marvel at the orange glow it makes on everything it touches-the dark shadows that form creating unique designs from winter bare trees. I see the faded pinks and purples and blues that mix better than my watercolor paints can. And I am grateful for all of it. I wonder if others are looking at it too.

I am reminded that life itself is a work of art. And that every day, regardless of the drama I’d like to attach it, is beautiful in its own way. We only need to be of sound mind to really see it.

Thanks to Facebook

{photo by Professor Gary Greenberg. from the Daily Mail.}

While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeeds, I caught a story that was like my sunset awakening. A friend of a friend posted an article magnifying something we often take for granted especially those of us who grew up on an island. You know those tiny particles that get stuck between your toes when you’re at the beach? Well as a kid, I found them beyond annoying. My dad often tells me how I was so prissy back then, I didn’t want to go to the beach just because I hated the feeling of them in my slippers. Yes it’s sand.

But until now I didn’t really SEE them. I didn’t know the magic I held when I cupped them in my hand, when I walked upon them with bare feet, when I made castles from their tiny beings. And then I read this article and saw these pictures and I was both amazed and inspired.

If this much art and beauty can exist in something smaller than our pinky finger, then what possibilities hold within each of us? And how many other things are in our life right now that we are passing by, taking for granted, walking right over?

The magic is right there in front of us. We don’t have to wait for big opportunities, for big trips, for life changing events. All we need to do is begin opening our eyes and embrace them all.

CategoryDaily Inspirations | CommentNo Comments »

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October 11th, 2011

Remembering What’s Important

I sometimes forget what I’m doing here. I knew what it was when I was a kid. Maybe it was to cover my grandma with a blanket when she was cold or to make my family laugh when they were upset. But it felt true and real then. As I got older, my purpose got a little blurry.

Maybe it was the fear of not being able to financially support myself, the idea that had been pounded into me-that I needed to get a “real” job or that I somehow lost who I was a long the way. But whatever it was that I thought I needed to do only seemed to get worse the older I got.

Others who were on the same path as me eventually lost and found their own way. They got married, had families and created new dreams. I was still there as lost as ever.

But through the pain of feeling like the last one to take the leap, I discovered ways to rise through the uncertainties. I never took a shortcut on my path. Instead I learned that by being completely present and focused on this moment. I didn’t need to know what was going to happen next. The funny thing is that even if we really want to know, we can’t.

Fight Uncertainty With Patience and Presence

It seems crazy to think that being mindful could help solve the things that ail you. But it’s what has helped me. In fact, it’s what led me to California from Hawaii 8 years ago. It was a desire I had to move to the mainland. I put that desire out and let it go. A year later, I was reading a newspaper when a local college course on health psychology and stress management sparked my interest. That class confirmed my decision to get my Masters and the one school I found that had a Health Psychology emphasis was Santa Clara University in Northern California.

All those tiny steps led me here.

It’s what helps remind me what’s important to me in the moment. It guides me when I’m feeling lost.

If you’re riding the same boat as me and fearful of the next wave, take heart. Remember that the only thing you need to do is to get through this moment. The better you’re able to deal with the moment you’re in, the more you’re able to accept and embrace it for what it is, the stronger, more certain you will be when that wave hits.

If I have learned anything on this crazy journey is that we all have the answers to our every question. What we need to do is carefully remove each layer of false beliefs, fear, and defense mechanisms that threaten to sabotage our life.

The only way to get there is through compassion, patience and learning to feel whatever you’re feeling in every moment. It ain’t easy dear friend. But who said life was going to be?

Whenever I’m feeling lost again, I remember what is important. It’s the you and them in the right here and right now. Everything else is just a what if, a whim and a possibility. Those things will come later. Let’s just dance in the unknown and celebrate the breath that you’re taking in the now.

CategoryFinding Your Purpose | Comment2 Comments »

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