Making Peace With Where You Are Right Now

I’m going to confess something that I’m sure 90% of you won’t understand or agree with. Here it is. I hate living in Hawaii. Okay maybe hate is too harsh of a word. “Strongly dislike” or “difficult to adjust” may be closer to what I mean.

Yes, I know griping about a place with year-round summer weather and presidential beaches (Pres. Obama does come here at least once a year) sounds like a whine from a hard-to-please 4-year-old. It sounds ridiculous to my own ears. But having lived here my whole life and having come back, I am completely sure that being here isn’t exactly for me.

I actually miss the brisk autumn weather, the smell of firewood, the golden color of fall leaves. I miss cuddling up on the couch, the change of the seasons, the freedom to drive somewhere fun on a whim.

That being said, I can gripe and pout (which I swear I’ve done enough of already) or I can see this as another opportunity to stretch my comfort zone. I realized last night that this was again another lesson to be learned. I could begrudgingly go on as I have been or try to find a purpose for being here.

Maybe you love where you live, but don’t feel at home in your own skin, at a job, or in a relationship. It’s all the same. When we’re feeling unwelcome in an environment and when we think we “should” feel comfortable, that’s when suffering begins. On a larger scale, it’s being okay with where you are situationally as well as physically and emotionally. It’s all the same whether you’re in a job you hate or you’re stuck in a state you don’t mesh well with like me. How do you find peace and happiness when where you are is not where you want to be?

Practice patience. Patience is something I grapple with often. But I realize that’s probably why I’m being tested with it again and again. On days when I can’t wait any longer for things to settle, I remember that it took me 3 years to love California, so 5 months is hardly enough time to like it here. How do I practice patience? Meditating helps as does being out in nature. Any activity that forces me to focus on the present moment instead of how much I’d rather be somewhere else is essential in moments like these.

Learn acceptance. Acceptance isn’t the same thing as settling. It means accepting the moment that you’re in right now. You might not like it, but so it is. Once we stop resisting and accept the situation we’re in, something wonderful happens. Some of the pain of being where you are dissipates.

Find the silver lining. Maybe your job is tedious or your apartment is noisy. But if you look hard enough, you might find that what you do love about your work is your co-workers or that where you’re living is convenient to stores. Even I have to admit that being within 15 minutes from the beach is a blessing. Every situation has its good and its bad. It just depends how you look at it.

Be grateful. Where you are currently isn’t exactly where you’d like to be. But there is still something to be grateful for in every situation. You have a job and a roof over your head. For me, it’s being near family and to the beach. When we focus on the little things we have to be grateful for, we attract more things to be grateful in our life.

Visualize what you do want. Incessant complaining won’t get you far. If you want to change your situation, do what you can to make tiny changes to get to where you want to be. Spend a few minutes every day dreaming up your best life. What does it feel like to be there? Who’s with you? What are you doing? Even spending a little time in your dream life can raise your mood, empower you and draw hope back into your life. All necessary ingredients for getting you to where you want to be.

What helps you feel better when you’re unhappy with where you are?

 

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Adjusting to a New Place

{by The Inspiring Bee}

Life is not supposed to be easy.

We’re not meant to sit in hammocks and twiddle our thumbs. We’re grown to be both hard and soft, both strong and vulnerable. We’re built to withstand hardship and to be supple and weak. We know this as children. We know it inherently, which is why children laugh as hard as they cry, play as hard as they sleep. We just forget as we lose our baby fat and childlike sensibilities.

But life does not want us to stay set in our own ways. It wiggles and shakes us to move. It sends storms our way and removes our umbrellas, raincoats and even the roof over our head in an effort to remind us: “You were meant to live BIG!”

It calls us over and makes us say things like:

“This is so unfair. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Why me??!!!”

And when we’re on the floor, sobbing in waves, breathless and tired and weak, it shows us a light. It reminds us that through sorrow and struggle, a door opens. It’s THE way. The path that was always meant for us to walk through. We just were too busy trying to lose weight, buy the perfect house or carve out the perfect life, to see it.

But as the dust settles and we find our place, the light, which was peaking through a small crack in the door grows brilliant. It shines over us and heals what we didn’t know needed healing. We realize that what once we labeled “tragic” was an unexpected blessing.

The new place feels unfamiliar and scary, but we dip our toes in it anyway. We sense as we leave our old life, a shift. We feel both sad about what we’ve lost, but ever hopeful for what we’re about to gain. It’s through this process of continuing to have hope and faith that lands us to the life we were meant to live. It’s the breaking through that gives the journey meaning.

As I walk on sand instead of concrete, my physical move has taken shape to an emotional one. Life cannot exist independent on what we’re going through internally. We must also shift with our physical experience and circumstances. In light of what ever you are going through, remember that where you are now is where you are supposed to be. Remember that you have the tools to get you through whatever you’re going through. And above all this, remember the light of grace that will always pave the way even when the world seems to have gone dark.

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How Do You Know It’s Time to Call it Quits?

Unfortunately, there’s no sign on the door that says, “Closed,” when it’s time to pack it up and go. You need to be a bit of a detective, a sleuth, an intuitive master to figure out that.

Here’s what I do know.

Life doesn’t just let you alone without any clues to help you on your way. But you need to be 1) open to hearing them 2) ready to embrace the message.

When contemplating the move from California to Hawaii, the decision was not easy. It was probably a lot harder than you’d think. It took many conversations within myself to decide that listening to my intuition was smarter than following my head.

It took carefully packing away my fears, gently rocking my inner child and softly and compassionately showing it the way.

In short, it was no cake walk.

But in the end, I’m here and all is well. And I was reminded that life is easier when we listen to ourselves.

 How do you know when it’s time to go?

1. You feel restless.

2. You wake up at night with a, “Something’s not right feeling.”

3. You’re terrified about the decision you know you have to make.

4. You’re tired of living the life you’re living.

5. You keep getting signs that you should be doing something else.

In all honestly, you know what you have to do. You may be too afraid to do it. You may believe that you can’t. Sometimes what’s really holding us back isn’t the thing we have to do, but the belief that we can’t do it.

Allow yourself to imagine the possibility that you can, that you have all the tools you need to do what seems impossible, that fear is just a normal part of the equation.

Our fears will never go away. But as we get stronger and courageous and more able to face them, we allow ourselves the opportunity to fulfill our life purpose and to grow into the person we were meant to become.

We only have one life to live. We only have this moment. If something isn’t working in your life, please dear friend,

consider changing it.

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