Posts tagged ‘Positivity’

May 24th, 2013

Put to Bed the Fighter

{Etsy decal by 60SecondMakeover}

{Etsy decal by 60SecondMakeover}

why it’s good to be a fighter…

I was born a fighter. I think I must have came out of the womb with gloves on. Well except that I was delivered via C-section so maybe I wasn’t quite ready.

I carried this mindset my entire life. It dictated my academics and shot me up from a C-average student to a straight-A’s one.

What that’s led to is a lot of great opportunities and surprising successes. And just as surprising failures.

What I’ve learned in looking back is that it’s not always the fight that wins the battle, but the letting go, surrendering and accepting what is. It’s a great thing to be a fighter. You need someone in your corner to fight for your dreams, to stand up for what’s right, to make a difference. But you need a listener to propel you into the life you were meant to live.

leaning into what is…

When you have an innately fighting personality, you believe with 100% certainty that you can control everything. Your body may be tired. Your soul may be fatigued. But your mind says, “Keep going!” And you listen. What happens over time is that you stop communicating with your intuitive voice. You live on adrenaline to keep going. Eventually, you run on empty and get sick.

It’s the same thing with living your life. I think being a straight A-student gave me the false impression that if I only work really hard, I could get everything I wanted right away. I forgot about ambiguity, faith, the unknown. I forgot about trust.

When you fill up every single space of “what if,” you leave little room for things like magic, mystery, serendipity.

It’s not wrong to go for what you believe in. But you won’t get to your dreams by going on your own. Don’t let your mind drive you all the time. Sharpen your intuition by trusting your instincts and allow your soul to guide you.

The struggle isn’t always the fight. Sometimes it’s about settling in softly into the present moment of the unknown and having the courage to walk patiently without answers, without solutions to your current problem and just be.

 

CategoryBurnout, Daily Inspirations | CommentNo Comments »

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May 8th, 2013

Keep Hope In Your Pocket

{Etsy print by JCSpock}

{Etsy print by JCSpock}

I admit I spend too much time worrying about the things that don’t end up even happening in my life. I worry about wasting time, but much of it is spent obsessing over the illnesses I have and the opportunities I don’t have.

Last night, however, I dreamed about possibility, hope and miracles. In it, I was told that everything we think we know about life is just the surface of what’s true. We grieve and bemoan our situation, for example, because we think it’s permanent. We allow logic to override miracle. We’ve grown too accustomed to computers and smartphones that tell us what is true instead of figuring it out for ourselves. And the weather? Trust your forecaster or Siri instead of just popping your head out the window.

As a result, intuition falls to the wayside. Hope no longer exists unless we have evidence to prove it.

Because something seems impossible or improbable we give up. But the whole notion of faith and miracle is dreaming up the impossible. If so, what we believe can be true is delivered to us on a platter.

Sounds easy, but the real struggle is challenging our old and jaded minds. We have to fight the fear of being vulnerable, being wrong, being disappointed.

We knew this as children. Every thing we absorbed then was magical. Do you remember it? But we let the pain and suffering of growing up wound us. Some allow it to wound them permanently.

If we can strip away the negativity, the paranoia, the obsessive need to know in this moment, we might return to that place of innocence, hope and joy. Instead of searching intently for a way to rid of your current ailment, let’s spend a moment in prayer and acceptance for what is so that we may lay open a door to possibility that everything. is. okay.

You won’t get that from the internet, a friend, your spouse, a sibling, or even a doctor. When you sit quietly or stand in the middle of nature, however, you will know it.

Do what you can with what you have and then surrender it and let it be. Life will happen regardless of how much you try to control it. But within those seemingly confining boundaries, there is and always will be hope. Trust in it. Hope is the armor of courage best used in battle. It will carry you through sleepless nights of worry, distrust, and panic. It is the only thing besides love that will help you through the unknown. And when you’ve landed safely on the other side, remember it. Remember that there is always a ray of light upon you just as you look back toward the shadows. It matters not what you go through, but where you’re focusing.

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February 19th, 2013

The Key to Having More

{Etsy print by wickedpaper}

{Etsy print by wickedpaper}

Everyone wants a better life. They desire bigger homes with huge lots, more money, a better job. But when it comes down to it. What we’re really after is more love, deeper relationships, a more meaningful life.

And you can easily get all of those things. You just have to focus on what you really want and stop getting distracted with all the other stuff.

Watching Oprah interview Nate Berkus on Super Soul Sunday was a great validation of that. She talked to him about his newest book, The Things That Matter. I love the title for its simple play on words and its breaking down of the stereotype that things don’t matter, that they are superficial. It also brings attention to the things and people that really do matter. Once you get clear on that, you’re that much closer to getting what you truly want in life.

On Letting Go

One of the reasons why we don’t have what we want at this moment is that we’re holding on to something-a memory, a belief, a relationship-that just doesn’t serve us anymore. We hold on out of fear that we won’t get anything better. We hold on because what we know is less scary than what we don’t know. We hold on out of a lack of faith that we can’t get what we want. We hold on because a foggy past can easily meld into an idealistic memory if we aren’t too careful.

I love what Oprah says about holding on:

“Most people are trying to hold onto wanting the life to be what it was. One of the greatest spiritual lessons I’ve learned from anybody who’s sat in that chair [for Super Soul Sunday] is that when you are resisting the reality of what is that is where all of your suffering comes from. You’re wanting the moment, the time, to be something that it can’t be is what causes the suffering. And your ability to transcend and accept that that is gone, and now I must move on and create a new normal is the real great spiritual lesson no matter what it is you’re going through.” [If you want to watch the entire show, Oprah has the full episode on her website.]

Once we let go of what was, we make room for what is. Life is such a gift if we stand out of our own way and let it happen.

On Gratitude

When we focus on what’s not working, life can be a real bummer and love sucker. When we immerse our selves in what’s working, it’s as if the world opens up like a budding flower. Suddenly, you have a lot more than you think you did. Your friendships may not be working or your job may suck, but you have an understanding partner or feel safe and comfortable at home. Every single person can find something to be grateful for even if it’s for this single breath. When you devote time to what’s working in your life, your life grows.

If you want more in your life, you can create a wish list/collage, you can gripe to your friends about it, but don’t forget to work on these two things. If you do so, you’ll be surprised by how much things change in beautiful and unexpected ways.

What matters to you? Is it your family, your health, your pet dog? What are you most grateful for? Let’s share the love and let it grow here.

CategoryDaily Inspirations | CommentNo Comments »

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February 13th, 2013

Finding Paradise in Hell

Big Island Waikoloa

Big Island Waikoloa

We can’t always control where we are in a moment.

You could, for example, be reclining in a lounge chair, umbrella laced drink in hand, staring into a turquoise hued pool and still be tormented by worries and untamed thoughts.

You could just as easily be sitting in a tiny room packed with physical clutter, assaulted by outside noises and filled with mental claustrophobia.

Either situation can understandably lead one to feel the following statement repeatedly:

“Get me out of here NOW!”

We’ve all been through it. The place where we reside feels to us like a personal attack. We don’t deserve it. We didn’t ask for this. More importantly, how do we escape from this unintentional imprisonment? How do we turn paradise from personal hell?

To push through whatever you’re going through right now, you don’t have to physically move. You can hate where you are and find pockets of peace. That’s how you get toward happiness. Your situation doesn’t necessarily have to change. But you will have to.

“If, amidst the turmoil, you can find just one moment of peace in each day, then your whole life will become more joyful. Like the water in a lake, when your mind is calm, you can see the depths below.” —  Ed and Deb Shapiro

It’s no secret that life is hard or that things don’t happen the way we want it to. But the people who exude happiness and joy are the ones that travel further than the silver lining. They work hard to see beyond the vision in front of them. They look for the inspired present-the place just ahead of where they are now.

Feeling stuck too?

What to Do in the Short-Term

Do something about it! If it’s your confining house, toxic roommate, or your noisy neighbor that’s getting to you, make it a point to get out of the house. Immerse yourself in inspiration. Visit a museum, walk to the beach, meditate. And those voices that tell you, “You don’t have time or money to do it?” Tell them to take a hike literally. You’re taking care of yourself. The more time you invest in lifting your spirits, the faster it’ll take to get you away from your current difficult situation into peace.

What to Do in the Long-Term

Your situation can temporarily change once you get yourself out of the rut. But you’re going to have to do something more long-lasting and permanent if you really want to create ripples of positive change. Start by creating a list of what you do want and then write steps on how you’re going to get it. Don’t hold back or censor yourself because you think “it will never happen” or “it’s impossible.” Dreams come true every day. Why? Because someone believed enough in them to follow through.

The bottom line is that nothing lasts forever. No matter how dreadful you feel in this moment, it will pass. In the meantime, don’t make it more torturous than it has to. There is always joy to be had in every dark corner. But remember…it’s up to you to bring the light to the shadows.

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August 6th, 2012

Acceptance Can Be a Female Dog

{flickr photo by: BrittneyBush}

I think one of the greatest obstacles we grapple with is learning how to accept what is instead of moaning and groaning about what we don’t have.

It’s like we’re sitting there one hand full of riches and the other hand open full of potential. But we don’t see it. Nope. We’re too focused on the fact that the other hand is empty and not filled yet.

“Why oh why is it not filled yet?,” we ask.

It causes us to transform back into our 2-year-old selves, throwing punches to the air, crying out for all the things we deserve to have, but don’t. Praying about how much we need it, how much better our lives would be with it. And there we are so focused on our poor, wounded souls that we neglect the jewels that fill us, surround us and already make us whole.

If you ever need to be reminded of that, check in with your nearest and dearest furry child. Notice how they seem utterly forgetful about all the mishaps you do. Analyze how a mere treat, a pet on the head or a cuddle could make them silly with joy. See how they seem to pass up the chance to moan about their loss sibling that you had to adopt them away from or the fact that they don’t have a mate, kids or even anyone that even slightly resembles them. They just move on.

Accepting your situation can feel hard. It can be like welcoming an uninvited guest or settling for less.

But it’s not.

Learning how to accept whatever you’re going through and wherever you are is a gift.

It’s about returning to a state of vulnerability in realizing you have less control over life than you think. And that is okay.

It’s about loosening your grip over the outcome and opening your heart up to possibility instead of forced intention.

It’s about seeing your life as a large red carpet unfolding in front of you instead of a predetermined path.

It’s about releasing the rigidity of adulthood that sometimes tricks us into believing we know everything.

It’s a lesson in gratitude for what you have instead of what you still haven’t received.

It’s a muscle being flexed to exercise resiliency.

It’s a reminder that the events of your life ebbs and flows like ocean waves. No matter what you’re going through it will not always be this way.

Yes acceptance can be a b$@&*. But it’s a friendly one. So be open to its riches.

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July 19th, 2012

Reframing Things

Every situation especially the despicable ones require a bit of readjusting if you want to get through it with as minimal damage as possible. There’s a) seeing the bright side b) seeing everything as half-empty.

Regardless of which one is true, know this: you’re life will always be happier if you embrace the first one.

It’s almost the weekend and I’m still settling my toes in the warm Hawaiian sand. But like the movie The Descendants suggests, no life is postcard perfect. Even people in Hawaii have problems too.

The choice, however is to continue facing the rainbows with the rain clouds on your back.

Sometimes reframing your perspective is the only way you can get through a difficult situation. Take exhibit A. Here’s a shimmery gold placemat, a $3 porcelain dish from Pier1 and a bowl of fresh tangerines. All pretty sweet.

But sometimes you have to change your perspective, zoom out of the situation you’re in, and open your eyes to the BIG picture. Only then you will you be able to grasp what you’re really grappling with. And thankfully, the situation often appears a lot less larger

than you imagined.

{by The Inspiring Bee}

Has reframing a situation ever helped you? How so?

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July 11th, 2012

Adjusting to a New Place

{by The Inspiring Bee}

Life is not supposed to be easy.

We’re not meant to sit in hammocks and twiddle our thumbs. We’re grown to be both hard and soft, both strong and vulnerable. We’re built to withstand hardship and to be supple and weak. We know this as children. We know it inherently, which is why children laugh as hard as they cry, play as hard as they sleep. We just forget as we lose our baby fat and childlike sensibilities.

But life does not want us to stay set in our own ways. It wiggles and shakes us to move. It sends storms our way and removes our umbrellas, raincoats and even the roof over our head in an effort to remind us: “You were meant to live BIG!”

It calls us over and makes us say things like:

“This is so unfair. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Why me??!!!”

And when we’re on the floor, sobbing in waves, breathless and tired and weak, it shows us a light. It reminds us that through sorrow and struggle, a door opens. It’s THE way. The path that was always meant for us to walk through. We just were too busy trying to lose weight, buy the perfect house or carve out the perfect life, to see it.

But as the dust settles and we find our place, the light, which was peaking through a small crack in the door grows brilliant. It shines over us and heals what we didn’t know needed healing. We realize that what once we labeled “tragic” was an unexpected blessing.

The new place feels unfamiliar and scary, but we dip our toes in it anyway. We sense as we leave our old life, a shift. We feel both sad about what we’ve lost, but ever hopeful for what we’re about to gain. It’s through this process of continuing to have hope and faith that lands us to the life we were meant to live. It’s the breaking through that gives the journey meaning.

As I walk on sand instead of concrete, my physical move has taken shape to an emotional one. Life cannot exist independent on what we’re going through internally. We must also shift with our physical experience and circumstances. In light of what ever you are going through, remember that where you are now is where you are supposed to be. Remember that you have the tools to get you through whatever you’re going through. And above all this, remember the light of grace that will always pave the way even when the world seems to have gone dark.

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Dealing with Fear | Comment2 Comments »

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