Posts tagged ‘pursuing your dreams’

November 8th, 2012

Gratitude for the Naysayers

I never in a million years thought I’d write this. Because I’ve spent most of my time warding off the side effects of a killjoy, I didn’t have any energy to see their purpose in my life. Until now.

Recently, I was speaking to a particularly potent party pooper (say that 5 times!) and this person shocked me for two reasons. For one, I realized that most of the time people who wag their finger at your creative endeavors, your ambitious ideas or your nontraditional way of living, often point their finger back at themselves. You can’t be critical of other people without being self-critical. Those who are accepting of themselves similarly are much more accepting of others.

Secondly, all the naysayers, the mean teacher, the pessimistic co-worker, the unsupportive friend, have had significant roles in my success. They’ve given me motivation to step outside my comfort zone. If only to prove to them that I could do exactly what they believe I couldn’t.

Who knew that someone disbelieving in you could have the same power as the constant supporter?

For that reason, I really can’t discredit their impact. Their doubt, negativity and failure warnings have actually helped me to work THAT much harder. I couldn’t rest on my laurels to get me a job or believe that my talent/experience were adequate to pull me through. These guys reminded me that I didn’t have any or that if I did, it was far from being good enough.

While you’ll never want to seek them out when feeling down, you CAN use their grumblings to shoot you higher if you’ve let yourself get too comfortable lately.

Basically, you have two choices. You can play victim allowing anything nasty anyone has ever said to you as an excuse to stop pursuing your dreams or you can use it as fuel to succeed. Something tells me that if you follow the latter, you’ll not only surprise yourself, you might even inspire that disbeliever (who I think secretly wants to be a dream seeker like you!).

CategoryDaily Inspirations | Comment7 Comments »

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October 22nd, 2012

It Pays to Risk Big: Risky Behavior Not So Risky After All?

There’s a misconception that risk is bad for you. It’s an old wive’s tale that says a good life is a quiet one. It’s why there are people who don’t travel, who stay unhappily in the same job/relationship for years, and why we never quite live up to our potential.

The fear of feeling uncomfortable dries up our ambitions. We mistakenly believe that staying at home or working the same job is safe. Somewhere along the way when we abandoned the tooth fairy and the magic of Santa Claus, we also bid adieu to our childlike spirit that craves adventure and self-growth. We settled instead.

I had a childhood friend who’s parents didn’t want her to leave the house out of fear. Leave home and she could be hit by a car, struck by lightening, or killed. But who knows what staying stagnant will do to our soul?

Psychologically we feel safe when we don’t venture outside our comfort zone. We avoid uncomfortable stomach butterflies, the shame of failure or the fear of success.

We get so comfy in our stagnation that shaking things up feels intolerable and unsafe. Yet, playing it safe can prove risky to our success.

In The Extraordinary Healing Power of Ordinary Things, Larry Dossey, M.D. says:

“I believe the urge to take risks is innate, inscribed in bone and blood and genes, and that when we completely avoid risk, we sabotage our greatest potential.”

By not choosing to take risks, we can compromise our physical health as well. In his book, Dossey shares research that indicates risky behavior can stimulate our immune system aiding in things like cancer and infections.

If risky behavior is good for us, then what’s stopping us from pursuing our dreams?

Maybe we’re not all built to jump out of planes or even on a surfboard, but that doesn’t mean we’re ill-equipped to take on our dreams. Maybe what we need is someone to tell us right now that what we’re doing means something, that it will be worth it, and that our efforts in the present moment have significant influence on our future.

Well it is.

It will be.

And it does.

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Dealing with Fear, Following Your Dreams | CommentNo Comments »

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February 22nd, 2012

How Much Would You Risk for Your Dreams?

Dandelion

As you know from this post, I’ve had a little more free time on my hands lately. Especially since my new blogging job at Beliefnet has been temporarily stalled because of all the increase in traffic that’s been landing there lately (good news for my future, bad news for me now).

On the bright side, I’ve had ample time to work on my dreams: a book I hope to publish one day, a copywriting job, and my latest project (recovering a vintage typewriter I bought and shared on Facebook over the weekend).

Sunshine with a Chance of Crazy

Well in the midst of all my applying, I’ve gotten a surprising number of callbacks and interests. There were at least a handful that made my stomach tingle (you know the feeling you get when you really like someone? That kind).

But here I am, feeling that same doubt. Because I’ve gone and done something super crazy! Crazier than leaving a job for no job in tow. I’ve said, “No” to all of them. Why? Because they’d require a sacrifice I can’t foresee making right now-giving up the freedom and flexibility that comes with freelancing and telecommuting. Am I crazy or what?

I have to admit that turning down jobs, especially writing jobs that I would love, seems not only illogical, but quite frankly a little bit of stupid. But I can’t give up now. I think following your dreams take faith. The kind of faith that makes you walk forward without any certainty that something or someone will catch you if you fall.

If it sounds too crazy for you, think of it this way. If you were single and wanted to find your soul mate, would you get together with each person you met that was available just because they were available? Or would you risk turning a few down because you had faith that you would eventually meet the right person or at least a few date worthy candidates?

What Would You Give Up for Your Dreams?

I heard someone say once that you can have everything you want in life, but not all at one time. What’s required of you to fulfill that dream is to give up something else in return. For some, it’s family over career. For others, it’s a willingness to wait a lifetime in order to finish that book or travel to Europe. But whether it’s time, financial security or stability, it’s worth asking yourself this:

What am I willing to give up for the purpose of pursuing my dreams?

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Following Your Dreams | Comment2 Comments »

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February 2nd, 2012

Pursuing Your Dream Career in a Rotten Economy

{via pinterest; originally weheartit.com.}

I’m getting ready to reveal some big news here. But in the meantime, I wanted to share something short, but hopefully meaningful.

I started this blog a few years ago because I had a profound belief that if every person did what they were born to do, the world would be a happier place. Children would grow up with happier parents. Parents wouldn’t feel resentful and jaded. People might even be kinder to one another because they wouldn’t be living in a repressed state.

When we are free to be who we are, it is like coming home. My hope in writing here was to help free others to live their own dreams, whatever that may be.

While the blog has changed a lot and grown, I still feel strongly about my purpose. When I hear friends and family complain about the bad economy or hear reporters talk about the worsening job market, I try to stay hopeful. I want to rise above the anxiety and fear with hope and blind faith. The only other choice is to believe the worst, immerse ourselves in negativity and consequently sabotage any efforts we have to rise above it.

But I doubted others felt this way. And of all people, I hardly thought financial guru Suze Orman would agree with my thinking. But she went and surprised me.

On her show The Money Class on OWN, she said the following to a mother and military vet who found herself unemployed:

“Why do you want to be a waitress when your dream job is to be a photographer? You should pursue your dreams…a job is not a career, a career is a passion.”

Amen Ms. Orman! It thrills me to no end that she feels this way. Even in a bad economy, you can own a dream and there is no shame in pursuing one. It is not selfish. It is not asking too much. It is something we all deserve-if a dream is as big as Walt Disney’s and if it’s as small as wanting to learn how to be a photographer. Maybe you’re working full-time and still want to be an author or an entrepreneur or a painter. Don’t give up on your dreams! Keep to it. The only sure way you won’t get there is if you give up and never pursue it.

CategoryDaily Inspirations | Comment7 Comments »

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October 24th, 2011

Bad Idea to Pursue Your Dreams?

{via flickr photo by acaben}

Should You Follow Your Bliss?

There’s been a lot of talk about Steve Jobs’s talk at Stanford’s Commencement Address in 2005. If you want to watch it yourself, go here. I personally found his speech on living your dreams inspiring. But of course I would right? I love inspirational things.

Then, I read this blog by Psychology Today called, “Should You Follow Your Bliss”? And I wasn’t so sure. Freelance writer Sarah Estes Graham shared my enthusiasm for Jobs’s speech, but with some reservations on how it could apply to all people, not just Steve Jobs. It watered down my passion just a bit.

I clicked on over to this article from Atlantic Monthly that she mentions called, “Follow Your Bliss-Sort Of.” I was even more distraught.

Journalist and senior editor Megan McArdle said:

“The problem is, the people who give these sorts of speeches are the outliers: the folks who have made a name for themselves in some very challenging, competitive, and high-status field. No one ever brings in the regional sales manager for a medical supplies firm to say, ‘Yeah, I didn’t get to be CEO.  But I wake up happy most mornings, my kids are great, and my golf game gets better every year.’”

McArdle felt that Steve Jobs was talking about what he knew best and that was how to be Steve Jobs. But what does that mean for the rest of us?

She concluded her article with what she tells budding journalists:

“…there are a lot of people who want to be journalists, and a shrinking number of well-paid steady jobs. Usually, what I tell them next is that it’s not a tragedy if they don’t do what they thought they wanted to do at 22; that they have more time than they think to figure out ‘what they want to do with the rest of their lives’; and that the world outside of school and words is more interesting than they probably suspect. That they should be prepared to take the risks involved in pursuing this career, but also to cut their losses.”

I think it’s great advice, but here’s my 2 cents.

I think both McArdle and Graham have a point. There is a difference between reality and fantasy. And no one ever wants to encourage bright-eyed students to believe the impossible is possible right?

Hmmm…I’d beg to differ.

I agree that Steve Jobs was a rare visionary and that there will be less people like him and Oprah and the other guests who speak at schools like Stanford. Maybe we can’t all quit our day jobs and pursue our dreams. And yes the truth of the economy and the state of unemployment are less romantic than the ideal he speaks of. But what’s wrong with hearing his story, having hope that we can fulfill our dreams and allowing ourselves to be inspired by its possibility?

Watching Steve Jobs, I didn’t think he was giving us a how-to, but a what-if or a why no. On a day to day basis, with Debbie Downer news reminding us about how far we’re falling down the rabbit hole, why can’t we revel in the romanticism? If not, why even try? Taking away the hope that we’ll achieve something (maybe not Steve Jobs grand) important to us is not just depressing, but it’s inhuman. It’d be like telling your 6-year-old all the reasons why everything he ever wanted in life is not only impossible, but doesn’t exist.

I also understand that people who feel like their dreams are too out of reach or who don’t know what their dreams are can feel discouraged in the light of someone that successful. And I agree with what McArdle says to college students about being okay with not know what they want to do with their life. I truly believe that life is about growing and when we grow our dreams change. We’re not supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives. We’re only to know what we want to do now.

In my opinion, Jobs and these two writers are talking about two separate things. Yes, we should be realistic about what we can or can’t do. We shouldn’t try to be a Steve Jobs or an Oprah Winfrey. We should be the best of ourselves. And that’s what I got from his speech. The hope, possibility and inspiration to pursue what’s right for us. Not to fight to be someone else. The former will help motivate us to keep persevering when our dreams feel to far away and the latter will mostly end in failure.

CategoryFollowing Your Dreams, Inspired Life | CommentNo Comments »

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