3 Quotes That Will Help You Confront Almost Anything

Finally confronted my fear of speaking. My table at the HMSA and Mom’s in Hawaii Mom-O-Rama event.

This year has been bursting with challenges most of which have been stuffed into the month of June. But I’ve never been one to turn down an opportunity out of fear. Instead I’ve bombarded my inner critic with positive verbiage from the likes of

1. Sue Monk Kidd on Super Soul Sunday, in which she says:

Well, you know, as I get older, I try to love the uncertainties more than I do the certainties.”

To embrace what we don’t know is one of our greatest challenges isn’t it? And yet when I look back-my wedding day, the birth of my son,  my grandmother’s funeral, this past Mom-O-Rama talk with Moms in Hawaii and HMSA have also been a life changing experience. It’s what makes life feel magical. Although I’m often full of anticipation and fear, I’m almost always grateful for the growth and opportunity it gave me.

2. Steven Pressfield’s book, The War of Art continues to push me to face my fears professionally.

The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear, then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist…

The pro keeps coming on. He beats Resistance at its own game by being even more resolute and even more implacable than it is.”

Pressfield teaches me that my goal isn’t to wait until I’m fearless. My goal is to understand that fear is part of the process. It’s to realize that part of being a professional is to accept the discomfort, plan, prepare and then even though I might feel unworthy, inexperienced and awkward and do my best anyway.

3. Glennon Doyle Melton teaches me, shocks me, and makes me laugh until I’m weeping as I read each highlighted passage to my husband in Carry On Warrior:
Every little girl is told at some point that the world does not want to see the ugly, afraid, secret version of her. Sometimes the people who tell her this are advertisers, sometimes they’re people close to her, and sometimes they’re just her own demons.

And so she must be told by someone she trusts that this hiding is both necessary and unncessary.

She must be taught that, in fact, some people will want and need to hear about her secret self as badly as they need to inhale. Because reading her truth will make them less afraid of their own secret selves. And she must be taught that telling her truth will make her less afraid too. Because maybe her secret self is actually her own personal prophet.”
Her words make me feel brave-not by doing anything amazingly courageous, but just by virtue of sharing my truth. It pushed me to express personal experiences that my normal introverted self would cringe at sharing. I’m so grateful for this. It helped me to realize that some people may not accept this gift of honesty with kindness, compassion or understanding, but it’s worth saying for the ones that need to hear it and will consequently receive it graciously.
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Inspiration to Confront Your Fears

{by Prawny via @morgueFile}

{by Prawny via @morgueFile}

I’ve been MIA because I’ve been dealing with something kind of heavy recently.

F-E-A-R.

It’s reared its ugly head again and all my defense walls are up. I’m ready to give up, throw in the towel and use every single excuse not to face it.

It’s so much easier to sit back and watch everyone around me grow more successful. It’s much harder to be in the ring wrestling with every single critic, self-doubt, and past insecurity of my lifetime. I wear it like a skin. And confronting discomfort is like sloughing that skin off. It’s painful.

But there’s been a lot of things inspiring me lately. Like the singer on The Voice that is uber talented, but doesn’t believe in herself. When she lets go of her insecurities for a moment, her melodious voice gives me goosebumps.

Then, there’s pro-golfer Michelle Wie who says in her interview with Self magazine and that I wrote about here, the game is 80% mental. It’s changed the way I envisioned success. Unless I tackle my inner critic, any talent I have or hard work I put in matters little.

Then there’s Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, which is always on me like the bible:

The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.

What Henry Fonda does, after puking into the toilet in his dressing room, is to clean up and march out onstage. He’s still terrified but he forces himself forward in spite of terror. He knows that once he gets out into the action, his fear will recede and he’ll be okay.”

If I am successful at defeating my fear, you will see me come June in a Hawaii event. Wish me luck!

If you would like to see me confront my fears and join me on dealing with your own through relaxing activities like meditation and sipping on tea, I’m teaching another workshop on Saturday, April 25th in Wahiawa. It’s soon so make sure to sign up here as soon as possible. You can also email me at bauyemura AT gmail DOT com.

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The Key to Coping With Failure

 Butterfly

In Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, he speaks of the dreaded R we didn’t learn in school with Reading, Writing and Arithmetic.

Resistance.

It’s the word responsible for more failed dreams than anything else. It’s unfinished projects, unsuccessful diets, and unfulfilled dreams. It’s the fear inside that said, “Well last time I failed at that. I’m never going to do that again!”

It’s what’s keeping us all hidden, scared, and silenced.

It’s the reason why we place so much meaning, value and importance on feedback. We’re afraid of the shame that comes from failing, the unworthiness factor, the belief tucked under that asks, “Am I good enough?”

What helped me recently is reading this Real Simple quote:

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

You mean to tell me that I can fail again. That the goal to success is to not avoid failure, but to fail better?

That’s what I thought too.

When I realized I didn’t have to tip-toe through the minefield of failure because if I’m growing, it will always be present, life seemed a lot less overwhelming.

The key isn’t to figure out how to never fail again. The key is to fail more efficiently.

What does that mean?

Instead of getting 10 rejections, shoot for 5. Instead of a complete overhaul of your copy, focus on getting feedback to edit a few sentences.

This may sound like shooting for the grass instead of the trees or the clouds instead of the moon. But if you continue on the path of 1 step forward, 2 steps backwards, you will eventually get there. If you approach a dream with the belief that you have to succeed flawlessly, you’re more likely to get overwhelmed and give up.

So that’s my motto these days.

Fail successfully…

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