Posts tagged ‘Tips for dealing with fear’

August 25th, 2011

More Tips for Dealing With Change

via @Erica Shoulders on Pinterest originally from Etsy.com

Don’t React

So what do we do when we don’t know what to do?  First, stop, take a deep breath and don’t do anything. Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author of Stillness Speaks says to “become at ease with the state of ‘not knowing’.” It is having faith and trusting what you do know in the unknown. Knowing, for example, that the tide will recede, the vast encumbrances of our lives are, what a recent musical called Avenue Q taught me, “only for now.” Sure we may not know if we are making the right decisions or if the better route is to avoid change and stay where we are, but in reality even what we perceive to be stable in our lives, may not be. In all situations, there is an undercurrent of change lurking just beneath the surface. After all, life is hard and requires risk, challenge and especially courage. Instead of finding security in our external world, it’s much more important during times like these to find safety and stability in our selves.

Invite Acceptance and Surrender in Your Life

Learning to accept your situation will help you develop a sense of empowerment over the unknown. You may not know, for example, what the future holds, but being present and focusing on what you can do today, gives you control over your future decisions. In addition, trying to run, avoid, or distance your self from fear, only transforms it into a bigger monster.

Meditate, talk to friends, family or a counselor, and express yourself through art, exercise, and spirituality and in those activities, you will find the space to express not repress your emotions.

Then with time, patience and self-compassion, you will eventually find acceptance in your situation. As Kathy Freston of Quantum Wellness says when we completely accept our situation, the answers will come from Spirit who will guide us to the next step. Once we’ve found a path towards acceptance through activities that heal us such as prayer, meditation, or even a simple walk, we can learn to deal with the situation clearer and on a cognitive level. In Stillness Speaks, Tolle explains that when we accept what we don’t know, we also stop struggling to find answers out of desperation and the end result is that thought becomes more effective. With the ability to think clearly, there is also an opportunity to think clearly about your choices.

Reflect on the Past

Another activity is to recall times in your life when you were faced with an unknown. Then, think about how you handled the situation and how the events of your life eventually unfolded. More times than not, our worries and anxieties are unnecessary and are unfounded. Remembering these incidents will remind you that you have gone through difficult situations before and that you can do it again.  Use your past experiences to bring you strength, to lift you up and to remind you what you are capable of.

To be continued…Will be wrapping things up in a final post.

April 27th, 2011

The Truth About Fear

{flickr photo by: stuant63}

The Scary Truth About Fear

I have to confess something…

You may try to hide from it, avoid it and do nothing so that it wouldn’t find you. But no matter what you or don’t do…

Fear never goes away.

In fact, the more you really live your life, the more you reach out there into the unknown, the more you will feel the fear.

But here’s the honest to goodness truth.

As Ms. Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing!”

Facing Your Fears

Yesterday, I did something that to be honest scared me poopless. I created a group where one person asks a question and everyone responds with answers. I had the idea and was excited about it. But on more than one occasion, I broke out in a cold sweat wondering if anyone would come.

It felt like the lonely desert. I could almost hear the sound of tumbleweeds tumbling across the sand.

Thankfully this brave soul garnered the courage to ask an insightful question and a few others brought up reflective, thoughtful questions in response! (Thanks you guys!)

But it was scary!

To be honest, every day I hit return to release a Tweet or write an update on Facebook, I take a deep breath and cross my fingers. Every day that I interview someone for a story, or send out a query or a job application, I do a little mini prayer. I know it’s silly, but it’s how I deal with the fear.

Because I know that the more successful I become, the more fears I will have to overcome.

In fact, it’s a requirement.

Here’s another truth about fear.

Every successful person you admire and want to emulate has and is currently dealing with fear. They have just learned how to deal with the little ones so that they can attack the BIG ones.

How to Deal With Fear


  1. You remind yourself that failure isn’t the big F word. Failure is the little f word. It is your friend. Fail and get up fast and you will become successful. Learn from it. Ask it what it’s trying to tell you. Failure is never “The End” unless you quit. Failure is the beginning of the journey to success.

  2. Think about what your life would have been like if you hadn’t taken that big risk (quit your job, present a new scary idea to your group, follow your calling). Think about what your life will be like if you don’t do whatever it is that is scaring you right now.

  3. Be kind to yourself. If you are reading this, I can bet you are an overachiever. I imagine that you are a perfectionist, someone who strives to be great. And the one thing holding you back? Yourself. Why? Because negative thoughts, self-sabotage and self-criticisms are beating you up from the inside out. All that talk is adding to your fears. Calm the raging monkey by meditating, journal writing, talking with a positive supportive friend. Talk back to it by saying, “So what if I didn’t get that job?! I will get the next one.”

Life isn’t supposed to be easy. Sometimes fear is a sign that you are on the right path. So what are you waiting for?

P.S.Thank you Cathy Miller for reminding me that my original font was too light for human eyes! Will be using a darker one from now on. =)