Watch Where You Point That

{Etsy shirt by thecraneandturtle}

{Etsy shirt by thecraneandturtle}

I always heard the things that bother you most about other people are the things that bother you about yourself. “True, true,” says the woman who blushes when bashing someone else.

But I only recently got it after listening to Sounds True’s Insight at the Edge with Jamie Catto. In it, Catto uses the example of those “who are down on greedy people” to explain how the things we despise in others are repressed shadow sides of ourselves:

“They’re taking less than they deserve, just in case they could ever possibly be called greedy. They’re so terrified of ever possibly being called greedy that they take less than they need. So they could maybe do with a little grain of more self-selfness in there.”

I always thought the qualities you hate about someone else were the traits you exhibit yourself. In other words, I believed I had a pass from griping about people completely opposite from me. Prior to this, I didn’t realize I could find certain people annoying because they’re neglected parts of my own self.

The trouble-maker? The cheapie? The procrastinator?

All characters part of everyone’s makeup. They only become a problem when we don’t acknowledge them.

Maybe it isn’t that I’m too cheap, for example, but that I could afford to be a little more el cheapo. Or maybe I don’t give myself a break enough. Causing a little ruckus, being a bargain shopper and taking a little longer to do things are actually sides of my nature that I haven’t expressed in awhile. Come to think of it the thought of indulging in them, feels a little radical?scandalous?  freeing…

What sides of yourself are waiting to be let out?

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter

Loving What You Got

{flickr photo by QuinnDombrowski}

{flickr photo by QuinnDombrowski}

It’s not always easy to look down at your cracked shoes, your too light wallet, your larger-than-life thighs and say to yourself, “Gee, I love my life!”

But I’m going to tell you why it’s hard not to.

Even though you could list hundreds of things you don’t like about yourself, your situation, your life, there is within every single person so many GOOD reasons to legitimately say, “Thank you!” And it’s all the things you think you hate about your life that actually make it so.

It’s me when I’m being too vocal, expressing my distaste for a certain food or dislike for a restaurant. In afterthought, I cringe wishing that I could have swallowed my voice instead of spoke up. It makes me feel too diva-ish, too brash, too much. But it’s also the thing I love most about myself if only I allowed myself to embrace it.

You might find that same conflict within yourself. The thing you criticize about someone else-they’re too judgmental, complain-y, immature, etc.-are the very shadows that you try to hide within yourself. There’s a fear that if you were to let that aspects of your self out, you would be teased or worse hated. In Care of the Soul (a book that found me in Glen Ellen, California, in a “keep-a-book, give-a-book library”), Thomas Moore says:

“It appears to me that as we open ourselves to see what our soul is made of and who we really are, we always find some material that is a profound challenge.”

And oftentimes what makes us feel ugly and weird are actually just reasons for celebration. Why? It provides evidence of our uniqueness, our individuality, what makes us different. And sometimes that can be the answers to our life purpose.

Maybe I’m not supposed to stay small and quiet, but to be bold and expressive. And letting that side out is the only way I can release my fears and express my soul’s purpose.

That isn’t to say every bad habit or behavior is justified. But it’s also not about repressing or hating them either. In silencing our inner complainer, for example, we may be neglecting ourselves. Moore says the way toward healing is through love. And that means loving even the so-called hard parts and then listening to why they are there.

Holocaust survivor, Nobel Laureate, and writer Elie Wiesel said on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday:

“Whatever you do in life remember, think higher and feel deeper.”

I believe it’s only in completely surrendering to who we are in this moment that we can completely live and love our life. If we do anything less than that, we will miss our calling. We miss our purpose for being here. We become disconnected from our truth because we’re too wrapped up into what we don’t have, what we never got, and why so-and-so is so much better than us.

Thinking higher means we grasp onto an elevated way of thinking of our lives and our self. Feeling deeper means that we don’t hold back. We feel the highest of highs and lowest of lows and know that if we stay true to who we are, we will always land on our feet.

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter
Related Posts with Thumbnails

snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflakeWordpress snowstorm powered by nksnow