I missed a blog post last week because I’ve been working on two secret projects. This means I’m in the trenches with you. I’m making expensive mistakes, facing my fears and oh yeah sabotaging myself. This is a story of how I’m learning to start anew, fall on my face yet again, and live to tell the tale so you can benefit from it. But let’s start at the beginning.
Some of you out there, I know personally. I know your struggles and triumphs. This is because there’s a handful of you who are my friends (and I am so grateful for you) and others because you are me.
We think we’re doing well because we’re persistent, we know what we want to do, and we’re actually doing it. Pause here for a minute. Reread that. Pretty amazing isn’t it? You’re actually on the path towards where you want to be. You’re doing the thing you talked to your old co-workers about doing. Know that I’m impressed by you too. That’s a feat itself.
Now know that it’s perfectly normal when you get on the path to start getting scared. Terrified even. You feel how close you are to the thing you’ve always wanted to do. And that’s corralling all your fears-the one where you’re standing in front of a crowd naked in your vulnerabilities, the one where you could fall flat on your face and fail in a way your worst enemy wouldn’t wish on you.
Yikes.
The fear is real.
So how do you deal? You slowly back away and it looks like this:
- You get distracted. Sure it could be the laundry that’s been piling up or all those shirts that still haven’t been ironed. Of course, there’s your kid’s project, and the bills. And there are other things too. There’s your side hustle, full-time gig, and goal of 10,000 steps. What’s wrong with any of that you ask? This is why this one is so insidious. You don’t know it’s coming because you legit have to get these things done. But as you do them, as you get deep into the household chores, your kids responsibilities and the rest of the world, your dream is like the gold at the end of the rainbow, getting further and further from your grasp.
- You fall into what’s comfortable and “safe.” I applied to two gigs a few weeks ago. I’m grateful I didn’t get either because I was playing the same tune of get a traditional job. There is sense of safety in regular income. You actually need money to survive right? Yet, for me it’s a trap. Every time I take a job purely for financial reasons, I lose the energy and drive to pursue my passion. This doesn’t mean I don’t get paid to write, but I take on projects that allow me to have the flexibility so I can focus on my dream.
- You convince yourself that it won’t work. You give up before you truly got started. When the going gets tough, you quit. And there are so many reasons why you shouldn’t do it. It’s too expensive. No one would like it. It’s a huge risk. These things might all be true. But you won’t know until you actually do it. Even if you fail. Even if it was a dumb decision. Will you walk away from it and regret that you didn’t even try? I met with a successful entrepreneur who told me that recently. He said you can find a million ways to give up and why this project won’t work. But if you’re committed, you’ll always find another way.
How are you holding up? Did you see yourself in any of these examples? If so, you’re not alone. Someone out there would feel less alone by your story. I’d love to hear from you in the comments or you can email me at bauyemura@gmail.com. If you’d like to write a guest post about your own story or have a question, shoot me an email too. I’m also leading a writing for children critique group locally. If you live on Oahu and writing for children, you can check out our group here.