I’ve been MIA because I’ve been dealing with something kind of heavy recently.
F-E-A-R.
It’s reared its ugly head again and all my defense walls are up. I’m ready to give up, throw in the towel and use every single excuse not to face it.
It’s so much easier to sit back and watch everyone around me grow more successful. It’s much harder to be in the ring wrestling with every single critic, self-doubt, and past insecurity of my lifetime. I wear it like a skin. And confronting discomfort is like sloughing that skin off. It’s painful.
But there’s been a lot of things inspiring me lately. Like the singer on The Voice that is uber talented, but doesn’t believe in herself. When she lets go of her insecurities for a moment, her melodious voice gives me goosebumps.
Then, there’s pro-golfer Michelle Wie who says in her interview with Self magazine and that I wrote about here, the game is 80% mental. It’s changed the way I envisioned success. Unless I tackle my inner critic, any talent I have or hard work I put in matters little.
Then there’s Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, which is always on me like the bible:
The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.
What Henry Fonda does, after puking into the toilet in his dressing room, is to clean up and march out onstage. He’s still terrified but he forces himself forward in spite of terror. He knows that once he gets out into the action, his fear will recede and he’ll be okay.”
If I am successful at defeating my fear, you will see me come June in a Hawaii event. Wish me luck!
If you would like to see me confront my fears and join me on dealing with your own through relaxing activities like meditation and sipping on tea, I’m teaching another workshop on Saturday, April 25th in Wahiawa. It’s soon so make sure to sign up here as soon as possible. You can also email me at bauyemura AT gmail DOT com.
