And I’m not talking about politics. I’m talking about all the things you see on social media, the influencers, and your co-workers.
They’re all selling it. Tasty, yummy, fabulously glamorous, shiny, sparkling lies.
But they all mean well. Well most of them. Some are trying to get you to spend money. Others truly believe in what they’re selling and want others to know. For the most part, however, what you have is enough. Do you really need the latest mascara? Isn’t the one you have good enough?
Will your life really be more amazing if you find that perfect skin cream or face oil?
Will you really be happier if you find the best deal on that fancy couch or crossbody bag?
Maybe for a moment. Maybe in the time it takes you to rip open the bag. I know because I get sucked in too. I get lost in needing material things to fill large, emotional holes inside of myself. But the truth is none of that is real. It’s all filtered. Everyone’s lives are made to look fancy from the outside.
What they’re selling us is shame.
We should be happy, perky and grateful all of the time. Even when life is hard, and it’s so hard. Even when we’re struggling, and oh aren’t we struggling.
Because you can’t really sell pain unless you’ve got a shiny solution for it. And no one wants to hear you complain because the world is hard enough as it is. So where does that leave you, but feeling alone, weird, and not of this earth?
When the truth is, we’re all balls of hot messes if not on the outside, on the inside. Some of us are brave enough to share it. But most of the time we wear icy armor pulling out any white hairs and creaming up any wrinkle. Surprisingly, it’s the fallen soldier, the one with anxiety, the one that has to pop pills that are most true, salts of the earth. They can’t hide it any longer so truth billows around them. Honesty in white clouds around their feet.
On Sounds True’s podcast Insights at the Edge therapist Sheryl Paul speaks on, “The Wisdom of Anxiety,” which also happens to be the name of her book. Her words blasts walls of division shining a light on our common humanity.
“…we live in this culture that presents this façade that everybody else is doing all right. And I hear that constantly in my work. Everyone else seems fine. What’s wrong with me? So, I’m hearing it, because that’s the position I’m in. But I think it’s starting to shift a little bit, where we start to see more vulnerability. We start to hear more of the real story of where people struggle. But we need that veil lifted all the way, so that people know, really know, that to struggle is to be human. There is no human being out there that doesn’t struggle. That’s impossible.”
So the next time you get pulled into the black hole of comparison, remember that no matter what you see or hear, we all go to the bathroom. We all cry, and fight, and get hit by the unpredictability of life. We’re vulnerable. There is no shame in breaking down when the tornado destroys everything in your path. There is only love and understanding. So shut off the computer, and turn towards your tribe-the people like me and your friend that loves you for you, hot mess and all.
xoxo,
Brandi