The other night I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about all the insurmountable pressures and tasks that comprise a day. If you’re a mother, your home must be kept tidy. Your kids must be polite, well-behaved, and have some skill that makes them better than smart. They need to be “special.” And even if they’re really little and you’ve never done this before, you need to be good at it. Your body knew how to create a baby so you must know how to care for one. You can’t ever lose your temper, and if you do, you must do it in when your kids aren’t around. And make sure you take time for yourself too. Never neglect yourself physically. You need to exercise regularly, schedule in that eyebrow wax, eyelash extension and hair color appointment. Just because you feel like crap doesn’t mean other people have to witness it.
If your kids are old enough to be in school, then you must remember every single field trip, bring homemade food to potlucks, put him in the right color clothes appropriate for holidays and special events. Don’t forget the school project that blows everyone else’s out of the water.
If you can’t sleep, buy the best concealer, wear an under eye mask.
If you don’t have the time to eat healthily, just do a juice fast or a detox.
And my goodness don’t post anything unless you look so amazing that people will wonder how old you really are and how you can manage a gaggle of kids, a household and successful career.
Speaking of which, you must always appear happy, accomplished, and healthy even when you’re depressed, anxious, failing and chronically ill. And if you decide on one of those late nights to post how you really feel, no one will want to hear it. If they like or reshare it, they may be admitting they feel like that too.
On top of that, you need to find and be successful at something that makes others drool. Your purpose has to be meaningful, money-making and fabulous.
Or you can do the brave thing.
You can love yourself.
You can accept that who you are is enough.
You can stop counting your value in social media likes, number of friends, and the weight on a scale.
You can quiet the outside noise, and get really close with your inner self, that part of you that knows none of those things are important.
You can give yourself permission to be imperfect because here’s a secret that will blow your mind-everyone is. Everyone is profoundly imperfect. And if we were to share it more, we’d feel less alone. And we’d really be happy. Because connection garners love and love is what really attracts all the things we want and need: things like joy, happiness and growth.
You don’t need to know what to do. You don’t need some amazing career. You don’t need to be in a relationship with your soulmate. You don’t even need to know your purpose. You can be messed up, lost, single, not very motherly or a mother at all, and still deserve love. Share on X There’s nothing that that the other person is doing or creating that makes them more worthy of it than you.
Here’s another mind blower. People who do amazing things still feel lost, lonely and messed up. It’s not what you do. It’s how you feel about yourself.
It’s an all too common story. The rich, famous and successful people who you believe has it all take their lives because external things are not what give you validation and worthiness.
It is the harder work to remake our insides. It may take years of cutting away at the fabric of self-hatred, and emotional turmoil. But it’s the real work of our lives, the one that matters most.
Brandi-Ann Uyemura created The Inspiring Bee to help inspire others to live an authentic life. If you resonate with these words, please share it with others who will be inspired by it, leave a comment. If you want to talk with someone who will listen without judgment to your dreams and will support you to get there, she’s a former therapist that has successfully helped others and can coach you.
