It’s that time of year when the gyms are full and every store knocks down their price on weights, blenders and diet books. I never realized how dangerous New Year’s Resolutions could be until I stopped making one.
The end of one year often brings attention to things we’ve been stuffing under drawers and burying under the sheets.
Sometimes it’s things our relatives say or society shames us for like our weight, body, our marital status or professional lives.
Sometimes it’s for things that weigh us down like our jobs, relationships or where we live.
Learning to decipher the difference between what we really need to change and what we need to learn how to love about ourselves is how we keep resolutions we haven’t been able to in the past.
A friend once asked how do you know when you should change something or accept something about yourself?
It’s a pivotal question to reflect upon during a new year because if we’re not careful, we’ll end up with more than a bad haircut and a pricey gym membership we’ll never use.
Spending the beginning of a new year in angst over who we are not isn’t the reason behind Resolutions.
Like any end, it’s an opportunity to reflect upon what is working and not working in our lives.
The key then is to eliminate other people’s opinions about us.
For example, if you lived alone in a cave somewhere or were on vacation would things like extra weight, being single and childless matter?
Superficial things that are important to others hold less weight in these situations.
When we take other people’s opinions out of the equation we’re more able to see what matters.
Once we’ve removed that, we need to dig deep to discover what it is we really want and what we’re willing to sacrifice in order to get it.
One of the ways we sabotage our dreams is by convincing ourselves that it doesn’t matter.
A relative once told me that it didn’t matter where you lived because your problems follow you everywhere.
But it’s not just where you live, but who you live with and what you choose to do for a living. All of these pieces come together to create a life that we either despise or we love.
It does make a difference.
Relatives like mine and your own inner voice will tell you it doesn’t matter that your boss is cruel, your job is unfulfilling and your friend is toxic. You can convince yourself to stay even when you’re unhappy because the unknown seems worse. Better to work with the devil you know than the one you don’t.
For years I’ve wanted to move, but I hate moving. I had to work through a lot of my own fears as well as accept the life I was already living and sacrifice the comfort of what I knew in order to make my dream come true.
These are some of the reasons why people don’t succeed at their resolutions:
1) They didn’t really want it.
2) They were doing it for someone else.
3) They were too afraid so they convince themselves it didn’t matter.
4) They were unwilling to make sacrifices and do the hard work of confronting their fears and losing the familiarity of their current life.
5) They gave up too soon.
After 3+ years of wanting to move, I finally did it. I can’t tell you how happy I am, how it’s shifted everything. My family is happier. I feel physically better. When you listen to your intuition and make changes that align with your values and what you know to be true, your life will blossom.
It matters more than you know.
Comment below on the one thing you want most in 2023?
What’s stopping you?