In January 2008, I wrote something in my journal that surprised me.
It was the beginning of a new year. Instead of feeling hopeful and excited, I was lost and confused.
Where was my career going? How much longer was I going to stay at this 9-5 job? Would I ever be a writer?
It surprised me because I don’t remember feeling this way.
On The View, Joy Behar said that she was jumping from job to job until she finally pursued her real dream of being a comedian at age 40.
Then, I remembered. I too, have been on that path. And I’m so grateful to be able to write about it.
What Are You Going to Be When You Grow Up?
I was as confused and lost for most of my life. Even as a child, I would constantly change the answer to the question, “What are you going to be when you grow up?” First, I said waitress. Then, cashier. After both of my parents balked at my low paying choices, I later developed a desire to make fake food (like I saw in restaurants). I figured that in addition to the fact that I loved food and being creative, the people who made them must be scientists so I was sure they’d make tons of money.
In college, I switched my major multiple times. I went from being a business major (because I thought that was where the dough was) to being an environmental scientist (because I wanted to help the environment) to finally giving into my true desire of being a writer (with a BA in English).
I struggled with being who I thought my parents and society wanted me to be (financially wealthy and successful) with who I felt I truly was (people driven and a writer).
When I thought back to my early years, I can remember enjoying two things with fervor and obsession-reading and writing.
When I was bored, I created my own newspaper. I interviewed family members and sometimes did so on a toy tape recorder. I typed out stories of a leaky faucet or a rainy day on a typewriter my grandmother bought me. I posted poems on my walls as a kid. And I looked forward to the days that I got a new book.
It took me two decades to RE-member what I always knew. My dream job is to write and inspire others by doing so. Thank goodness I finally rediscovered my true calling. My only regret? That I didn’t trust my instincts sooner.
What were your aspirations as a child?
Can going back to your early roots help you uncover your own deep, unconscious desires?
Try it and see what happens. You may reveal a key ingredient to pursuing the life of your dreams.
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