Put to Bed the Fighter

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why it’s good to be a fighter…

I was born a fighter. I think I must have came out of the womb with gloves on. Well except that I was delivered via C-section so maybe I wasn’t quite ready.

I carried this mindset my entire life. It dictated my academics and shot me up from a C-average student to a straight-A’s one.

What that’s led to is a lot of great opportunities and surprising successes. And just as surprising failures.

What I’ve learned in looking back is that it’s not always the fight that wins the battle, but the letting go, surrendering and accepting what is. It’s a great thing to be a fighter. You need someone in your corner to fight for your dreams, to stand up for what’s right, to make a difference. But you need a listener to propel you into the life you were meant to live.

leaning into what is…

When you have an innately fighting personality, you believe with 100% certainty that you can control everything. Your body may be tired. Your soul may be fatigued. But your mind says, “Keep going!” And you listen. What happens over time is that you stop communicating with your intuitive voice. You live on adrenaline to keep going. Eventually, you run on empty and get sick.

It’s the same thing with living your life. I think being a straight A-student gave me the false impression that if I only work really hard, I could get everything I wanted right away. I forgot about ambiguity, faith, the unknown. I forgot about trust.

When you fill up every single space of “what if,” you leave little room for things like magic, mystery, serendipity.

It’s not wrong to go for what you believe in. But you won’t get to your dreams by going on your own. Don’t let your mind drive you all the time. Sharpen your intuition by trusting your instincts and allow your soul to guide you.

The struggle isn’t always the fight. Sometimes it’s about settling in softly into the present moment of the unknown and having the courage to walk patiently without answers, without solutions to your current problem and just be.


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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed…

What to do when you're overwhelmed

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Yesterday all was well. But today? Hell broke lose and today’s an all together different story. Suddenly, your work load, your kids, your bank account, your health all need your attention and they need it now!

What seemed easy to put off yesterday, feels like an emergency today. How will you manage the seemingly unmanageable? And as your anxiety holds hands with fear, will you be able to survive whatever it is and make it out okay?

It’s a question that could likely leave most us wishing to be kids again, to want to hide from the responsibility that adulthood brings.

As someone who’s suffered from health issues and constant career fears (I am a writer), I understand the urgency. I know what it’s like to need answers now, to want to wake up from the nightmare that is your current life.

Fortunately there is always another way. I’ve discovered that even in the worst circumstances, light paves the way through the darkest of shadows. We only need to to know where to look to get to it.

Bite-Size Pieces

The majority of the time, we get overwhelmed because we think we need to do it all, and do it all right. It’s only in adulthood where we miraculously believe that because we’re older now, we should be able to tackle each mountain that comes our way. We forget that as children, it took patience, determination and hard work to learn how to roll, crawl and finally walk. Life is still like that. Sometimes we need to take bite-sized pieces and small steps to get what we want. We may not have it all right now. But we will eventually get there, if we give ourselves the time and space to achieve it.

Get Back to the Basics

One of my favorite bloggers is Sarah Wilson, a beautiful Australian media personality who blogs about life, health, travel and more. She wrote once that sometimes when she’s not feeling well, she simply lies down. As in, completely relinquishing to the earth or corpse pose for all you yogis out there. When life hits us hard, there is an automatic reaction in us that says, “Fight harder.” But in reality, the best thing we can do is ride the wave. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, go back to basics. Live simply. Breathe deeply. Work hard against being hard. Like the branches of a tree, be strong in your roots while allowing the wind to move you. You WILL get back on track.

{You can read the rest of this post on my Beliefnet column Happy Haven.}

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