Posts tagged ‘Finding hope’

July 23rd, 2012

Being Grateful Regardless of Your Circumstance

Today is my birthday. Usually when it comes around to the day, I’m worrying and anxious about what I’ll do. How will I make it PERFECT? Who will remember? How will I spend it? Or I’ll grieve over another year lost. How much time has passed. How I haven’t yet accomplished all the things I wanted to do by this age.

But today I say, “To hell with that.”

Life is a privilege, not our right.

I’m grateful today that I made it to this age. I’m grateful for the heartbreak I experienced and the hope. I’m appreciative of both the love I lost and the ones that I’ve gained.

I can look at all the things I haven’t yet accomplished and all the reasons why I should mourn this year or I can stand in the light of love and see all the beauty I’ve been given. And I can be grateful. So I chose that. And so I am.

When you look at your own life, do you see the cracks in the concrete as well as the flowers making its way through them? How often do you say, “Thank you” for my life instead of resentful for the life you don’t have?

My birthday wish is that we all learn to stop standing in the way of our own happiness and allow the love and beauty to flow through.

Will you choose it for you?

{Taken in an art gallery in Kapaa, Kauai. The reflection inside of the photograph makes its own art.}

CategoryDaily Inspirations | Comment2 Comments »

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July 11th, 2012

Adjusting to a New Place

{by The Inspiring Bee}

Life is not supposed to be easy.

We’re not meant to sit in hammocks and twiddle our thumbs. We’re grown to be both hard and soft, both strong and vulnerable. We’re built to withstand hardship and to be supple and weak. We know this as children. We know it inherently, which is why children laugh as hard as they cry, play as hard as they sleep. We just forget as we lose our baby fat and childlike sensibilities.

But life does not want us to stay set in our own ways. It wiggles and shakes us to move. It sends storms our way and removes our umbrellas, raincoats and even the roof over our head in an effort to remind us: “You were meant to live BIG!”

It calls us over and makes us say things like:

“This is so unfair. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Why me??!!!”

And when we’re on the floor, sobbing in waves, breathless and tired and weak, it shows us a light. It reminds us that through sorrow and struggle, a door opens. It’s THE way. The path that was always meant for us to walk through. We just were too busy trying to lose weight, buy the perfect house or carve out the perfect life, to see it.

But as the dust settles and we find our place, the light, which was peaking through a small crack in the door grows brilliant. It shines over us and heals what we didn’t know needed healing. We realize that what once we labeled “tragic” was an unexpected blessing.

The new place feels unfamiliar and scary, but we dip our toes in it anyway. We sense as we leave our old life, a shift. We feel both sad about what we’ve lost, but ever hopeful for what we’re about to gain. It’s through this process of continuing to have hope and faith that lands us to the life we were meant to live. It’s the breaking through that gives the journey meaning.

As I walk on sand instead of concrete, my physical move has taken shape to an emotional one. Life cannot exist independent on what we’re going through internally. We must also shift with our physical experience and circumstances. In light of what ever you are going through, remember that where you are now is where you are supposed to be. Remember that you have the tools to get you through whatever you’re going through. And above all this, remember the light of grace that will always pave the way even when the world seems to have gone dark.

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Dealing with Fear | Comment2 Comments »

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May 9th, 2012

A Different Way of Perceiving Loss

{flickr photo by The Djudju Beast}

Loss is one of those inevitable experiences in life we have to cope with. Hopefully we don’t have to deal with it until we’re older and more able to handle the grief. But in any case, it’s hard. Its impact devastating.

It’s difficult to deal with whether we’re dealing with the loss of a relationship, a job or a loved one (furry kids included). And one of the reasons why it’s so hard is that it reminds us about how short life is. Every loss is like another dying leading us to our own inevitable death.

Sorry to be so grim. But we are talking about death.

While coping is never easy, I’ve recently found a ray of light to help me deal with loss in a new way.

I realized that the being, the job, the opportunity that we feel we lost has been a gift. And when it’s ripped away from us, we forget that. I think we take for granted that life is short. Waking up each day feels like an expectation not a reason for gratitude. And we expect the same from those around us. We think that life will always unfold the way it has been and are shaken up when it’s suddenly changed.

It’s normal to feel angry, sad, and filled with despair when we lose something we love. But when we’re past the point of initial grieving, I think we owe it to ourselves and the people and things we lost to find the gift in their presence. It’s not only the empty space they leave which makes up the legacy of their life, but their entire life.

Whenever I feel like I’m falling into despair, I refocus my perspective. I remember that the time we have with people and the experiences we love are less important than the remaining impact they left on our hearts. I’d rather remember the gift than the anger. I’d rather hold onto their love than the loss.

And I think it’s important to focus on their purpose of being here instead of why they left. We will never know why something we love has to end. Trying to find the answer to that question can only pull us down a road toward more struggle and suffering. Instead, I choose to find answers to why they were here in the first place.

It’s not easy to deal with the sound of silence after something we loved was taken away. But I know that if we can continue to remember the love, hope is right around the corner…

 

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April 9th, 2012

What to Do If You’re Feeling Burnt Out

I’ve been feeling burnt out lately. Actually, I didn’t even know that’s what it was until I read Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive by Joan Borysenko. All I know was that it was getting hard and harder to blog lately. And I was also losing my creative drive. Hence, the lack of Creative Friday posts lately.

After digging into that book, I learned that being burnt out affects each of us in different ways. We become emotionally exhaustive, disengaged, cynical, feel diminished, isolate and lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing in the first place.

While I hadn’t experienced the full total experience of burning out, I definitely was creeping up to the edge. This Easter weekend, I vowed things had to change and fast!

In Julia Cameron’s infamous book, The Artist’s Way, Cameron says:

“Our artist child can best be enticed to work by treating work as play.”

Insert light bulb here. All work and no play was draining my creative fountain and I needed a break ASAP. Oh boy did I wish I had taken my own advice sooner. But better late than never right?

This weekend on an impulse, my husband and I took a much needed one day trip to Monterey.

Inspiring sunset

It was an important reminder that in order to meld meaning into our ordinary day-to-day lives we need to take a break, play and open our eyes to the possibility and magic taking place all around us each and every day.

Spring blossoms

{photos by The Inspiring Bee}

What’s inspiring you lately?

It’s hard not to feel grateful when you see a mommy seal with her new pup.

*The labels people give us can define who we are, if we’re not aware of it. Find out how what others tell you can have a negative impact on your life over on my new Beliefnet Health blog, Happy Haven.

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September 15th, 2011

What Every Dreamer Needs

I am no superwoman. You can forget about what my last post implied. Puh-leaze! Although I work hard to change my attitude, I get dips in my days too. Negative feedback from others or within myself is enough to set off a domino effect on my mood. It goes something like this:

Could you redo this piece? —> Your writing sucks.

I didn’t get that job. —> I suck.

Okay. Maybe it’s not that black and white. But I’m a HSP (highly sensitive person) so I’d be lying if I said that I’m 100% immune to external and internal feedback.

What I can honestly say is this…

  • If I ride it out the feeling will go away.
  • If I accept how I feel, the feeling will be much easier to deal with.
  • If I realize that what I think is not always the truth, then I’m able to let go of obsessing over non-truths and get on with my life.
  • And most importantly, if I take a look at my situation from an eagle’s view, I am able to laugh. On the 5th day of Christmas what did the universe give to me? 5 query rejections, 4 minutes of self-doubt, 3 projects pending, 2 forgotten dreams, and 1 life as a writer. {That’s the ditty that was playing in my head yesterday.}

The thing is life will never be easy. Sometimes you have to put in the extra work to discover ways to soothe yourself.

For me, it means being a conscious observer, looking deep at everything I see. (My husband says watching me is like watching a child. I really cannot not look at every little thing.) It’s all in the details my friend. And I’ve been keeping my eye out on them recently…

 

Like this shot I took this past weekend. See the couple in the background staring into the garden?

 

And sometimes it’s the hidden “signs” that we didn’t notice before:

Random sign on a hiking trail.

 

Changes taking shape when we’re not paying attention.

Beauty in branches.

 

Or maybe love from an unexpected source just when you needed it most.

*Found this walking around my neighborhood today.

What do you need most right now? How are you fueling yourself and your vision?

*Want to see more photos? Here’s a bunch of them.

CategoryDaily Inspirations, Inspired Life | Comment3 Comments »

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March 1st, 2011

Major Lessons Through Life’s Major Challenges

Just when I thought I was over being sick, I was hit with the worst case of stomach flu of my life. I was riding the waves of illness for awhile and the repercussions shook me up so that I am still weak after a week of recovery.

I know that we’re only given as much as we can handle, but I found myself praying one night asking for mercy, willing the pain and discomfort to stop.

After I started feeling better, I begun to think about the “why” in the “why did this happen?”

Several days of staring off into space with nothing to do, I began to see the irony of what I was going through. I had been on a challenge for 21 days to do nothing. And now here I was forced to do just that. This time illness bound me to bed and I really could not do anything, even if I wanted to.

Reflections

After sickness cleared out my stomach and body, I went through a series of lessons. The first was compassion.

Compassion for those in pain.

As I lay in bed, I thought about all of the people who were sitting in their bed and could not move. I thought about my grandfather who stricken with severe diabetes and who spent the remaining years of his life there. I thought about my grandmother who could not escape from the confines of confusion and memory loss Alzheimer’s brought.

I thought about mothers caring for their sick children and sick adults trying to take care of themselves.

I thought about every single person who felt pain, was enduring sickness or going through a difficult time. It was a heavy moment. But I had nothing else to do so I inhaled it in.

Purpose

The second was purpose. While I sat there, I thought about my purpose. I thought about stripping away the trivial things of my past and emphasizing and intensifying my passion.

I remember being in grammar school and having a portfolio. In it, there were cut up magazine ads and story boards I drew with grandiose ideas to sell ordinary every day products. I was a copywriter at heart, but I let the dream die when I became an adult.

Part of that was realizing a few obstacles that got in the way. One was all the obsessing I was doing on what others were accomplishing. Doing so made me abandon my dream. I vowed to start obsessing on my own life.

Patience

When it takes you twice as long to do the things you normally do, you grow patience. Patience is something I needed to develop. I am the type of person who loves to check things off her to-do list. I enjoy seeing finish products, not projects in process. But after this past challenge, I learned how vital patience is. I need patience so I can heal 100% from my illness. I need patience so I can grow my business. It takes patience to get through the hard, unfruitful and challenging times. Being sick with lots to do and no energy to do them, reminded me about that.

Elevating the Little Things

The little things made a big impact on me while I was sick. I had to find gratitude in the small things. I looked forward to bath times so I could feel the comfort of warm water on my cold skin.

If you can find small things to feel joyful, you can get through anything.

If you can do small things every day to get you towards your goals, you will eventually change your life.

The Gift of Illness

No one likes to be sick. But I’m grateful for the lessons I discovered during a moment of temporary illness. They have been an unexpected, though appreciated gift.

CategoryInspired Life | Comment4 Comments »

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December 8th, 2010

Finding Inspiration During Tough Times

If I were a good liar, even a decent one, I would say that life has never been better. That although I’ve hit some rough patches, I’m seeing the light.

While that’s partially true, the 100% truth is that sometimes life really sucks.

These days it’s a cough drop that helps me get through the toughest parts of my day because it forces me to focus on the present moment. And when that doesn’t work, a hug from my husband does.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have faith, or hope, or want to live each day being positive and inspiring to others.

What it means is that this moment, this year even, is forcing me be more of who I need to be. And I’m willing to take the journey, even in the dark, bumpy parts.

I’m a visual person so here’s what I mean:

1. Perspective:

This is a shot I took outside of our cottage in Point Reyes. The sun had just set and the gorgeous countryside was beginning to turn dark and gray.

Amazingly. This is the same scene taken with the same camera at the same time. The only difference? A different camera setting. To me, this represents a change in perspective. That we can all have tough moments, days, months, even years, but it is our ability to keep going, to do what we need to do to get through the hard parts, and see the same problem/concern/hardship through different lenses.

2. Blurry to Focus:

This photo looks like a big mess of weeds doesn’t it? Sometimes that mess is your business or your life. You’re doing a whole of something, but in the end it feels like it’s amounting to nothing. I know what you’re going through. I felt that way too. But recently, being sick has made it difficult for me to do more than one thing at a time. And you know what? That’s a blessing.

It’s made it easier for me to focus on the things that really matter. (Forgive me if that sounds trite, but it’s true.) When you have gazillion things on your plate, you lose track of your purpose. Not only that but you become inefficient in the things or people you care about most. When you zoom in on one specific aspect of your life, instead of trying to do a superficial observation from above, you get to see the details. I realized that placing your attention on one thing instead of trying to do all of them is a lot more beneficial to not just your career, but your life.

The bottom line is this. Life will inevitably suck at different moments. We are all living in a world we don’t have much control of. But what we can hold onto is grace. The choice we have to see something small to be grateful for, even when we’re sucking on our cough drops, or crying our eyes out. And then have patience and wait. Because out of that dark, difficult time, there will be a gift. It will be the rainbow you didn’t expect, the joy that you couldn’t have appreciated if you didn’t go through it, or the strength you didn’t have before.

That’s what keeps me hopeful and inspired during the sucky times in life. How about you?

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