5 Things You Don’t Want But Need

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We spend a lot of time (too much of it actually) focusing on all the things we want.

We want a new car,

a house,

a 4-person family,

a new job,

a spa day,

a luxurious trip…

Over the holidays, it’s even easier to fantasize about all the things we could have. Some of us have dreams as BIG as Oprah’s Favorite Things List.

What we rarely spend time dreaming about, however, are the things we really need. This post is dedicated to that.

During this holiday season, I hope you’ll savor a few moments, drinking in the nectar of these:

1) L o V e:

Love comes not from material things. You can’t get it from your wallet or download it like an app. It takes a good deal of time and work. But it’s as necessary as the air you breathe.

2)  Silence:

Everywhere we go there’s noise. When we’re in the city, there’s traffic. When we go out of the city, there’s white noise from our smartphones, TVs and computers. Go out a little further away and sit in silence. It will feel unnerving, even painfully quiet at first. But then your ears will rest in the place where you and your soul can finally meet. Then you will hear the trees. Then you will know the answers you have been waiting for.

3) K~i~n~d~n~e~s~s:

We’re too busy to be kind. We’re too important, too fancy, too smart…There’s not enough time to be kind, courteous, or civil. You have a list of wants to run after. But you do disservice to the world and yourself when you choose to be short instead of kind. Kindness begets more kindness. Change yourself. Change the world.

4) W*o*n*d*e*r

A little wonder can change your life. You don’t think you need it, but over time a lack of wonder will age you. It will grow cracks in your heart. It will cover your eyes. It will make you see life as mundane, as routine, as required, expected. You take life for granted. You start to miss out on the magic. Breed wonder. Kill routine.

5) Vulnerability:

The dreaded V-word. We spend a lifetime running away from it to avoid disappointment, hurt, pain. But in escaping we also flee from love, excitement and the sweetness of connection. It takes a courageous heart to venture into the world of vulnerability. But once we open to it, our lives open up as well.

What will you be dreaming about in 2014?

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Put to Bed the Fighter

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why it’s good to be a fighter…

I was born a fighter. I think I must have came out of the womb with gloves on. Well except that I was delivered via C-section so maybe I wasn’t quite ready.

I carried this mindset my entire life. It dictated my academics and shot me up from a C-average student to a straight-A’s one.

What that’s led to is a lot of great opportunities and surprising successes. And just as surprising failures.

What I’ve learned in looking back is that it’s not always the fight that wins the battle, but the letting go, surrendering and accepting what is. It’s a great thing to be a fighter. You need someone in your corner to fight for your dreams, to stand up for what’s right, to make a difference. But you need a listener to propel you into the life you were meant to live.

leaning into what is…

When you have an innately fighting personality, you believe with 100% certainty that you can control everything. Your body may be tired. Your soul may be fatigued. But your mind says, “Keep going!” And you listen. What happens over time is that you stop communicating with your intuitive voice. You live on adrenaline to keep going. Eventually, you run on empty and get sick.

It’s the same thing with living your life. I think being a straight A-student gave me the false impression that if I only work really hard, I could get everything I wanted right away. I forgot about ambiguity, faith, the unknown. I forgot about trust.

When you fill up every single space of “what if,” you leave little room for things like magic, mystery, serendipity.

It’s not wrong to go for what you believe in. But you won’t get to your dreams by going on your own. Don’t let your mind drive you all the time. Sharpen your intuition by trusting your instincts and allow your soul to guide you.

The struggle isn’t always the fight. Sometimes it’s about settling in softly into the present moment of the unknown and having the courage to walk patiently without answers, without solutions to your current problem and just be.

 

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