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Tag: self-love

Feeling Unworthy

Feeling Unworthy

Tweet It happened again. I was feeling at peace with my life. The speeding ticket far behind me. The illness starting to heal itself. Acceptance was beginning to melt like chocolate, thick, rich and beautiful and seeping into anything hard and open. And then it […]

It’s Not About Finding Your Purpose

It’s Not About Finding Your Purpose

Tweet When I started this blogging journey, it was all about my writing. I wanted a place to pursue my passion. I wanted an arena to showcase my work and a venting spot to unleash my unexpressed writing dream. Since then, I’ve moved to Hawaii, […]

Where’s the Love On Valentine’s Day?

Where’s the Love On Valentine’s Day?

{Etsy photo print by CacophonyCreations}
{Etsy photo print by CacophonyCreations}

Valentine’s Day. It’s the day singles dread and couples forget about. The holiday that seems to do more for the economy than it does for our hearts. Yet, its impending date fills us with anxiety and fear. It’s the fear of being alone as much as the worry about getting the “right” gift. It’s the reason most of us hunkered down in coupledom stick our heads in the sand once we’re taken. No more agony over that dreaded V-Day!

For me, it brings up disappointing yesteryears filled with store bought roses that never met my own hands. Adolescence was a strange and heartbreaking period and one I’d never want to revisit. But it’s also a time writers like me are secretly grateful for. Sadly, the more angst, the more fuel for the typewriter.

It’s something that I regret. All those wasted years, I had been neglecting the greatest gift on Valentine’s Day. The gift of self-love.

{flickr photo by karindalziel}
{flickr photo by karindalziel}

This February has been one of those months that crush all the winter holiday months combined. Busy, chaotic, stressed out, overwhelmed. Adjectives that poured out in a sea of hopelessness. It sounds dramatic, but it feels that way. And it felt like my own craziness was causing a wave of disasters all around me. Almost everyone I’ve spoked to lately seemed to be as or more frazzled than me.

It seems trite or maybe a tad bit sentimental, but I mean it genuinely, taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give and get whether it’s the 14th or any day of the year. So if you’re feeling down and out, lonely, frazzled, and dreading the big V-Day, I hope you’ll gather a few ideas here. And if you have more, share it with me won’t you? I’m always looking for new ways to raise my spirits!

1. Get that hair cut, or massage, or manicure!

I was trying to go without getting another haircut. I used to go once a year and then twice at the most. But I had already got a haircut two times and I was hoping to ride out the unruly waves that had started to take over my mane. But looking like Cousin Itt from Adam’s Family wasn’t doing anything for my self-confidence. After one of those daily coupons came out for a haircut, I decided to take a plunge. A short clean bob confidence restored minus a migraine later, I thought, “Gee, indulgence is really worth it!”

2. Take a breath between bus(y)iness.

As a freelance writer, I always feel eons behind everyone else. It doesn’t matter that I’ve gotten things published or that I got a new project or that I’m searching relentlessly daily for more work. I’ll never be like the neighbor who’s yard is greener than Ireland next to me. I know this intuitively, but sometimes I need a reminder to just breathe.

3. It’s okay to fool around.

It’s Valentine’s Day so what’s the point if you’re not fooling around right? In this case, I mean taking a break to do something fun just for the sake of it. I’m lucky that I have a bunny that reminds me to not take life too seriously. But I also regularly engage in time wasting activities. What’s the point? It takes me out of my monkey mind in order to be in the present moment. Speaking of which…

4. Remember where you are right now.

I sometimes forget that I’m not fighting with someone, in pain, or shopping for a gift. I’m sitting here writing, or thinking or daydreaming. It feels real. My body thinks it’s gearing up for battle or escape, but really I’m just ruminating. When I realize that I’m not in my head, I feel safe. Nothing bad is happening. I can make my present situation chaotic or peaceful. Slowing down to realize this helps me to get back to a state of calm.

5. Make a sacrifice for yourself.

We sacrifice things for others every day. If you’re a people-pleaser, you might do it more than once a day. But how many times do you turn down an event or responsibility, just for you? It might make you feel like a horrible person to do so. But your health, family, and loving friends will thank you. As my husband once told me, “You think you’re doing something nice for other people. But you’re not helping anyone when you’re not being nice to yourself.”

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Loving What You Got

Loving What You Got

Tweet It’s not always easy to look down at your cracked shoes, your too light wallet, your larger-than-life thighs and say to yourself, “Gee, I love my life!” But I’m going to tell you why it’s hard not to. Even though you could list hundreds […]

You Have Permission to Just Be

You Have Permission to Just Be

Tweet Like reptiles we shed our soft baby skins and soft, playful spirits when we leave childhood. We embrace a tougher skin and more brittle insides that we think come with adulthood. “We’re grown-ups now,” we say to ourselves. That means no more lounging around, […]

Forgive Me Fellow Friends…

Forgive Me Fellow Friends…

while I sit down and sleep.

{found on pinterest}

Lately, I’ve been having dreams that tell me things like, “Slow down. Savor more.” No joke. But the irony is that I can’t sleep. I take this as a sign that my health’s wonky again so I probably need to take it down a notch.

This also means checking Facebook and Twitter may be excruciating these days because it’s an energy sucker that reminds me of all the things I won’t be doing in the next few days.

Forgive me while I take a slumber and take care of myself.

Have you done that lately?

Have you been running the never-ending treadmill because you’re “dying” to catch up with the rest of the world? Or have you been shutting down early these days in favor of sweet slumber and family QT (quality time)? I hope you’ve been choosing the latter. And you don’t need a blog wake up call to remind you that walking on the wild side isn’t meant to be a permanent thing. Unless you want to wake up with an irreversible disease. Not fun.

But if you do need a wake up call, I’m happy to offer it. Read day 1 of my Get More by Doing Less Challenge to start.

We’re barely gracing the surface of 2012, let’s keep trudging on. But can we do it at a turtle pace? Can we walk quietly for the sake of feeling the dirt beneath our feet instead of running quick to get to the end of the road?

Valentine’s for You

And while I’m at it, I’m vowing to make February the month of self-love. Anyone else with me?

Instead of paper hearts and sweet chocolates, I’m devoting the short month to taking care of myself. (P.S. Part of my self-care was getting crafty so I made both in a DIY Valentine for family members. Will share those soon.)

This means:

  • you have permission to make a dent on your couch for a whole day watching bad TV and catching up on never read, but meant to read magazines.
  • it’s okay if the laundry isn’t done, the dishes are piled up and the floor needs sweeping.
  • saying, “No” is not only an option, but that it may be necessary.
  • saying, “Yes” to yourself is mandatory.
  • that you will for one hour a week (at least) put yourself first.
  • that it’s okay to spoil yourself and forgive those that see it as selfish and don’t see the value of doing so. {they’re just jealous}

For me, this means a haircut I’ve been meaning to get, more time lying doing nothing, meditating and feeling okay with missing the gym every once in awhile. I vow to take care of myself before I get sick. I don’t want to get a double dose of sickies again (I caught the flu and a cold in one month recently).

If you’re in and want to celebrate with me, let me know what you’re going to vow to do this February.

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