Players like to analyze the strategy and outcome of a game. Why this move was beneficial and why that one led to a player’s downfall.
Sometimes we discover clues to help us make future decisions by investigating the past.
Situations that may need your attention?
- Deciding whether you should take one job over another.
- Knowing whether you should quit the job you have to start your dream job.
- Anytime you’re caught between a decision to stay in your comfort zone or take a giant leap into the unknown.
You can write pros and cons lists, ask others for advice, or wait for the answer to fall into your lap. But if the question lays unanswered for awhile, you may need to dig deeper.
Investigating Your Life for Clues
One of the benefits of going home for me is having the chance to explore the “me” of my youth. I have about 5 or 6 full journals with evidence of who I was. As if time suddenly stood still, I’m back to that clueless, sensitive girl in her teens and “looking for love in all the wrong places” young woman of my twenties.
Since I wrote the journals, I’ve devoured each, pouring over every word as if they were the latest fiction novel often forgetting the protagonist was me. After the third read, I’d go back and look for clues. I’d ponder who I am by reading about who I was, all the while trying desperately to forgive and accept the person I had completely forgotten about in my present life.
Well, this time I discovered something else.
I randomly flipped through an entry I wrote on November 17, 2003 .
“Tonight was one of those nights that I felt so appreciative of being here [in California], like I made the right decision. I got to say almost everything that has been happening has conformed this. I have had so many positive experiences and am happier learning more about myself and how to appreciate my life.”
I don’t remember writing this. But was blown away by reading my realization of making the right decision. And looking back, I definitely did. It was so validating to read that.
After I read that passage, a few papers fell out of the journal. One was a note written by a psychic I saw over ten years ago. In it, she wrote:
“Her life choice seems to be leading her away from safety and choices she once knew, a general calculated move is on its way with some connection to the mainland. Also, she needs some time away from her friends in order that she gain some new perspective elsewhere. Affirmation: Oftentimes negativity is a test put before us by the force in the Universe that wants to see balance within you, rather than accomplishment.”
I think seeing this journal passage and the note was serendipitous. The timing was quite impeccable as my husband and I have been tossing and turning over a decision that’s haunted us for the last few years.
And reading it, made me realize that in the past, I had made one of the most difficult choices in my life-to move away from the “safety” the psychic talked about and because of it, reaped the rewards years later experiencing happiness and gratitude for my life.
The affirmation really hit home.
At the time, I didn’t really understand it. In fact, it’s only on my birthday this year that I really got it.
There is a lot of negativity all around us. I would be lying if I said that not only was it around me, but it was all too tempting to swallow that pill and adopt it as my own. I think the struggle to maintain positivity is something that has been my main obstacle for most of my life. I hadn’t realized that challenging myself to resist negativity so that I could be positive was my goal in life. Forget about accomplishments! If I only understood that earlier. I wonder if I would have been torturing myself with trying to get straight A’s or winning awards and scholarships.
If I only knew that that was what I had to do in life, I wonder if I would have made more of the “right” decisions sooner.
Either way, it was an “aha” moment for me. My purpose became clear. I was validated in my past decision, which gives me courage in deciding my present one.
What about you?
Have you discovered something about yourself or found the answers to your greatest dilemmas by searching within?
Much luck on your journey ahead…
xo,
Brandi
