2011 Miracles

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I know you can’t just bibbidi bobbidi boo and make all your worries go away when the clock strikes 12. In fact, I just wrote a post for Psych Central that blows that possibility in the water.

But something’s changing in me. And I can’t quite get my finger on it.

Have you ever stood on solid ground only to discover that the large mass around you was actually thin ice?

And when you slipped and fell, did you grasp on tightly out of fear of losing control and letting go? And in the process of focusing on what you had instead of what you have now, suddenly lost yourself in the process and whatever it was you were trying to hold onto?

Yeah it was one of those kind of years.

The type that can either make your life better than ever or break you. Break you so you want to run back to whatever safety net you were once in.

But remake you so that you never see your life the same way again and that’s a good thing.

Usually if you experience that type of life changing experience, you’ll go through both. With some breaking first so that there’s ample space for changing. You hurt and become vulnerable so that little lights of possibility can shine through.

To nurture yourself and minimize the fall, sacrifice time for peace. Surround yourself where the ringing of a phone or the high pitch sound of a distant TV never reaches your senses.

For me, it was rocking back and forth out at sea where I finally grieved the loss of my grandfather.

Beneath me was 30 feet of deep water and around me was silence interrupted periodically by waves.

When I sat still and let the experience touch me instead of escape me, I let go and let in the loss.

When I was silent, a turtle swam up from the great depths beneath me, took a breath of air and then dove back down.

It was a symbol for me, of hope, miracle and the importance of breath.

We all need to come up for air every once in awhile.

Be Cognizant of Where You Spend Your Energy

My thyroid hasn’t been functioning properly. This makes it difficult for me to workout too much or work too hard.

After I suffered for awhile, I realized the blessing it was trying to give me.

If we’re open to our illnesses, our suffering, the things that shakes us to our very core, there may be a message waiting there.

For me, the message was clear.

Arguing about unnecessary things, worrying about unnecessary things, working too hard, working out too much, automatically triggered my heart. It raced and pounded louder than it was ever audible before. Now I could clearly see what was taking up too much energy in my life and what I needed to do to live a less stressful and more peaceful one.

I know it’s difficult to see.

When there are tears pouring down your face, when you feel like breathing is an effort, when it takes all you have to keep going…

But there is a message.

And I hope you’ll find it. Remember the turtle and find your own message and miracle and share them with me here.