What only close friends know of me is that I’ve got a little monkey on my shoulder with me at all times. It might have always been there, but as I got older that monkey got huge. The weight of him prevented me from living my life.
But he’s still sitting on my shoulders telling me how I suck at everything, how I never succeeded and likely never will. Scratch that. He didn’t just tell me. He showed me memories from my past of specific ways I didn’t measure up.
He pointed out all the cracks in the sidewalks, danger in every corner, and reasons it was never safe to take a deep breath and relax.
It all made a lot of sense to me. I mean he had evidence and everything.
But some time last year I started to check to see if all the suffering and fear I was feeling were justified. In other words, I wanted to verify this monkey’s integrity.
I learned that most of the time he was outright wrong! Other times, there was no way of knowing whether he was 100% right. What he did give me, however, was a sense of false security. He wanted me to be safe. He wanted me to be okay. He didn’t want me to experience the shame, heartache and rejection I felt as a kid. He was protecting me. But in doing so, he was keeping me from feeling alive.
I tell you this story because I have an inkling that you might be experiencing the same. Maybe it’s not a monkey. Maybe it’s your father, mother, or some other mythical creature riding your shoulders telling you how you’re failing or why you shouldn’t pursue your dream. Maybe it’s trying to keep you safe too.
But if you have a desire to walk into the life you know would fulfill you, you’re going to need to confront that monkey. Tell it you’re going to be okay. And when you do something that makes you feel alive, and it tries to pull you back in say, ” I love you. I know you’re looking out for me, but I can handle this. I got your back this time.”
Ready to get that monkey off your back? I’ve helped my clients and can help you. Leave me some comment love or send me an email at
bauyemura@gmail.com. Also, I wanted to let you in on a secret. I share more tips on how you can really do the things you wanted to do in 2020. And I share it for free, just for my newsletter subscribers. All you need to do is sign up below.
