Summer 2023 was not the summer I dreamed about during COVID days. I did not traverse the globe nor did I write. All in all, even though it’s not quite over yet, from the outside it would seem that I had a pretty abysmal season. Speaking of which, I’m finally writing at home because I’ve been out with Covid for a week.
What brings me back to this blog for the handful of you who are out there, is that I wanted to publicly share my failures and low moments.
Many of my coaching clients are perfectionists, ambitious creatives who are successful at what they do. As a result, they are paralyzed with fear to try something new.
As for me, this has been the year of failure where literally everything I touched turned to ash. I won’t go into the details but here is a list of a few things that have not turned out the way I wanted it to. New job opportunities didn’t pan out, my book which was sold years ago has not been announced, and there have been personal dreams that I was not able to make happen (yet). All this and we’ve had a number of illnesses, injuries and one disappointment after another.
There was enough reason for me to question my purpose, my experience, and my dreams.
The problem is many of us are on social media when we’re at our lowest point and end up comparing our bad days to someone’s gold days. We might have been laid off and catch an old acquaintance’s feed about a new promotion. Or we’re recently single and get inundated with all of our friend’s perfect families.
The thing is failing and low moments are not individual to our experiences. We all struggle through them.
It’s not a sign that you’re a failure, loser or something is wrong with you.
In her article for O magazine, “The Secret to Surviving Life’s Low Points,” Martha Beck says when nothing is working, it’s a sign of one thing: You need rest. Secondly, she says that it’s easy to focus on fear and fear can keep us stuck. Focusing on hope and what’s working can help you to persevere. There may even be unexpected gifts on the way.
Author and psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson is famous for saying, “The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positives ones.” This is why I’m apt to say summer ’23 was an outright failure. But in retrospect, there have been so many miracles this year, amazing gifts. We just bought a house. We survived through numerous illnesses and injuries. My son had an amazing birthday party-first time since the pandemic! And I’m on the road to recovery.
She says it’s important to get the message the first time. That all these situations are happening for a reason. And likely that reason is to rest. But she says it’s not just about watching Youtube or pretending to rest, while we’re actually doing chores (guilty!). She says to “rest like you mean it.”
When I finally gave up and literally did nothing for a whole week, something in me shifted. I had been trying like I often to do to force situations to work, push myself beyond my means, and to keep running when what I really needed to do was to be here, accept what is present, and to give myself the space to just breathe.
Are you feeling run down this summer? Has resting helped you to get back on track? Leave a comment and I’ll give you a 30 minute coaching session for free.
