{Excuse me while I reminisce for a bit with an old SATC episode.}
Ever see the Sex and the City episode where Carrie celebrates her 35th birthday? Her friends want to throw her a small birthday bash. But they are either late or can’t find the restaurant. In the end, she’s the only bell at her ball and has to pay for her $60 b-day cake too.
Yet, at the end of the night when Mr. Big drives up with big red birthday balloons and asks how was her day, she says, “Fabulous!”
I always wondered about that scene.
That is, until now.
You see, I’ve had about 0 bad days recently.
And it’s not because I won the lottery or suddenly lost my sense of reality.
I’ve actually discovered a tool that may help you get out of the funk you’re in.
It’s all about attitude…
Attitude is a concept that parents talk to teens about.
Self-help books
and gurus too.
But I didn’t really “get” it until a few so-called “bad” days weaseled their way into my life recently.
A biopsy.
A missed doctor’s appointment I waited a month for.
But then I decided that like the white scrawls on a green chalkboard, I could
simply erase it
by changing my attitude.
I made a conscious decision.
I DECIDED that external events would not CONTROL my life.
I DECIDED that who I was was more powerful, more whole, much more significant than a few measly circumstances that would one day pass and be an unmentionable memory.
I DECIDED that I would no longer play victim.
I would be the victor.
And I would do it gloriously.
What I needed to do was
LET GO.
I let go of the guilt I felt for a late appointment.
I let go of the expectation I had to live a certain type of life.
I let go of the disappointment.
I instead did one thing with 3 words.
Let it be.
I gave up fueling the drama.
I gave up on the idea of perfection.
I gave up on the belief that I had control over every single aspect of my life.
And in giving up,
I gave a gift to myself.
We don’t have control over everything. Sometimes unexpected events shake us up to our very core. And we feel like we have no choices. But we do. Try telling yourself, “This doesn’t have to be a bad day. This can be the best day of my life. If I let it. If I let myself see past the inconceivable.”
It is possible.
Trust me.
What I got instead of guilt and disappointment was gratitude, laughter, connection and an opportunity to feel empowered instead of disempowered.
It was the best day I could ask for. Instead of being one of the hardest days of my life.
Can you change a bad day into a good one?
I say, “Most definitely yes!”
In fact, give me more days like that one.
Kemari
September 15, 2011 at 1:35 amThis was so necessary for me to read. I have been on a mission to make my life positive only, but the past week has been trying to take me down. Negative colleagues, fighting kids, stress of family, and trying to do 15 things at once, all while feeling sick–it started to take its toll. I found myself getting irritated, snapping at people, tired, getting headaches. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time and it was disheartening to go through it again. But then I decided to just treat it all as a test. And now I read this and it is perfect. Perfect timing, perfect words, perfect everything. Thank you for reminding me that it really IS that simple. 🙂
Brandi
September 15, 2011 at 1:48 amHi Kemari,
I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time! I have to say that I notice right when we start to make positive changes in our lives, obstacles start to pop up. My old co-worker once told me to watch out when saying, “I’m having such a good day” because life will come and bite you in the behind. I think it’s a test. Are we going to follow through and live a different life even when it gets hard? It’s something that I’ve been dealing with too. I’m actually working on a post about it for tomorrow. I hope that you give yourself time to take care of yourself especially since you were sick. And know that it’s okay to have “bad days,” and even feel bad about them too. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe all of the stress that you’ve been during is a sign that you need to rest and do less. Maybe it means you need to change something. Maybe it means you need to do nothing. I appreciate your comment and just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in feeling that way. Take care Kemari!
Kemari
September 15, 2011 at 2:14 amThank you Brandi. 🙂 I’ve missed reading your posts and interacting.
And yes, I haven’t been taking care of myself as well as I should. I’m pushing myself pretty hard at the moment because I’m trying to get something done (moving). So I’m doing double duty on a lot of things so I can finally rest once I do move. I know that any little bit of stress is going to be magnified.
But you’re right. When things are going well, it seems we get more curve balls than we want. I’ve been having an exceptional year so far so I realize that this is all about balance. It’s just hard when you don’t feel 100% to remember that. But I am glad I am able to recognize it now. I didn’t use to. It used to get me down. I know that meditating has helped so much.
I’d already made the decision to get out of the funk and let it roll off my back. But you put it into words better than I could at the moment. I am going to have to print this up and read it again. (Not that I anticipating needing it).
Thank you again. 🙂 Hope you’re doing well.
Brandi
September 15, 2011 at 5:05 amAw thanks! Me too. I wondered how you were doing. Moving is on my top #5 things I really hate doing so I feel for you. Aw and I’m doing well thanks! I was in need of some rest too and I was reminded (yet again!) to put self-care for myself as a priority. Maybe I need to print this out too. =) Take care! (literally.)