5 Reasons Why You Keep Hearing, “No,”

Photo credit: sboneham on Visual hunt / CC BY

Sorry you’re not the right fit. It’s just not working out. This isn’t what we’re looking for.

If you’re tired of getting rejected professionally and even personally, there may be a few things that’s causing it. Here are the likely reasons you can’t get a yes even when you’re qualified, and worthy of that delightful word.

  1. It’s not no forever. It’s no right now. You’re just a few skills or edits short of meeting the requirements. Maybe you need more life experience. Maybe this opportunity would be way over your head if you did it now. Maybe you’re just not ready for it. And that’s okay. Don’t take this no as a no forever. A no can easily turn into a yes. Keep reading though to see if this is a temporarily decline.
  2. It’s a no because your heart’s not into it. Okay you think you really want this. You think that because you’re in between a rock and a hard place. You just got laid-off or been dumped. There’s an empty space and you’re desperate to fill it. But if you’re oozing out signs of icky desperation, people are going to feel that and it’s going to make them want to say, “No,” and that’s a good thing. Don’t do anything unless it’s a definite, “Yes,” inside your soul. Otherwise you’ll just be wasting yours and everyone else’s time.
  3. You’re sabotaging yourself. Okay what if you really, really want this thing and you’re super duper qualified for it. What if you can visualize it happening. What if you know inside of your soul that this is what you’re supposed to be doing or this is who you’re supposed to be with. And not in the future. Right. Now. It could very well be that there is a part of you that believes you’re not worthy of it. It could be coming from a very young age. It could derive from some big disappointment that happened when you were a kid or an experience where you felt less than. It’s coming from a place deep inside yourself that believe you were unworthy and that good things only happen to some people and you are not one of them. You might ask how this would play out since you’ve done all you’re supposed to do to get this great thing you so dearly want. It could be that you’re procrastinating in sending out that application or you did send out but you did it haphazardly with grammatical or spelling errors. Perhaps you didn’t double check the editor’s name or you were so nervous that you messed up your first meeting. Just because you see yourself in this situation, all is not lost. The sooner you’re aware that you’re doing this, the sooner you can remedy not just this situation but future ones.
  4. You’re being tested. If you really want what you say you want, then a few nos won’t shake you. This is the time when you persevere despite countless rejections. When the going gets tough, if you bow out early, then maybe you learn that this is not what you really want, at least right now.
  5. There’s something better out there for you. So say you did everything right. You really do want this. And you’re not getting in the way of getting it and you still get rejected. What then? Then girl you’ve got to trust that there’s something baking in the oven for you. And it’s something far grander than you can mix up with your own imagination. In the meantime, keep working on your craft. Keep redefining your values. Keep visualizing exactly what you’re searching for. Because it will come. I know it.
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