Bullying is a serious thing going on with kids today. But this isn’t about that kind of bullying.
This is the seemingly harmless adult bullying that can steal you away from your dreams.
- It’s what happens when Aunt Marge asks when are you going to find the “right” one (job, partner, etc.).
- OR when you’re going to stop with all this silly freelancing and finally settle down.
- It’s the pressure you feel to conform to other people’s wishes and thereby negating your own.
- It may not be as life threatening as the bullying that goes on with kids, but it is serious and can be dream threatening for sure!
The sad and unfortunate thing is that most people are doing it for good reason. They want you to be happy, successful and wealthy. But life doesn’t have a perfect one-size-fits-all equation. There’s no way to know which way is the right way.
But one thing’s for sure.
Keep on the road to other people’s dreams and you’ll definitely miss yours.
If you want to be free of dream bullying, however, here are a few tips:
Prepare a mantra ahead of time.
Whether it’s, breathe, calm, peace or love. Think of something that will temporarily distract you when noisy people try to change your mind.
Listen with love.
This is a hard one. But most times people give you advice or ask you questions because they are concerned. Many times they don’t realize the consequences of their constant questioning. Instead of responding or reacting, trying listening with love. What they tell you may be more about them and their unfulfilled dreams then about you.
Plan what you’ll say in advance.
Prepare something non-snarky in advance so you don’t experience a slip of the tongue and say something you might regret.
Here are a few examples. When a friend says, “Everyone wants to find their dream job, but we can’t do whatever we want.” You could say, “Thank you. I know you’re concerned about me. But I guess I’m lucky that I can.”
When an acquaintance says, “When are you going to get a real job?” You could say, “I’m pretty happy with the one I have now actually.”
Do you have any advice, tips, suggestions for how to respond when a bully tries to bully you? Share them in the comments below.
Mahesh Raj Mohan
August 16, 2011 at 8:02 pmI think folks like that are envious. And a lot of times I can understand where they’re coming from, but I just don’t let it affect my mojo, 🙂 I like your responses!
Brandi
August 16, 2011 at 9:35 pmHi Mahesh!
Lol. I love how you’re not letting it affect your “mojo.” Oh so important in not letting the bullies (whatever their intention) get the best of us. Thanks for the RT too!
Steve Rice
August 16, 2011 at 8:08 pmIt’s interesting how we don’t realize that our unsolicited advice is often just bullying in disguise.
I think the advice you gave about preparing a response ahead of time is so helpful and valuable.
I remember telling my mom one time that I would never live a “normal” life. It was my way of asking her to back off and let me live. Having something prepared that is polite and thoughtful is a better way.
Brandi
August 16, 2011 at 9:34 pmHi Steve!
Nice response. I think realizing most people have good intentions, but often don’t know what to say so they say what they think is best. Finding a way to stay true to ourselves and our path is what’s most important. I’m glad you found a way that was true to yourself and loving too.