How to Deal with Other's Unfriendly and Unsolicited Advice

Breaking out on your own is rough. It doesn’t matter if you’re dying to be an actress or a novelist. If you’re dreaming of a career that stands out from the crowd, be prepared for unwelcome feedback. Here are a few things you might hear. Any sound familiar?

You have dreams? We all have dreams. But some people actually need to make money!

Everyone wants to do what you do. What makes you different?

You want to end up like one of those people who struggles their whole life to be somebody and wake up old, broke and unemployed?

Life is supposed to be about hard work not having fun!

You know even really talented people aren’t always successful right?

Oh you want to be a writer? I thought writers were more experienced.

Sadly, I could go on. Mostly because I’ve been told at least one of these things in reaction to my decision to pursue my dreams.

What’s the solution? Well while most of us are dying to slam these negative comments with witty comebacks and sarcastic statements, (like this one to #5: “And untalented folks have it even harder. Guess you won’t be heading toward success anytime soon!”) you might want to reconsider your tactic.

Remember when Richard Carlson said, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” in his uplifting book series? Well listening to that advice will work in your favor. Most of the time when people give you comments like that, they are doing it for two reasons: 1) Either they have their own issues about not pursuing their dreams and are bitter, resentful and jealous that you are on your way to pursuing yours. 2) Or they genuinely care about you and are concerned about your future (financial or otherwise). In a lot of cases, people’s reasons are an interplay of both #1 and #2.

The best way to deal?

No matter what their true intention, thinking that they have your best interests at heart will help you recover from insensitive comments like these faster. Listen to what they have to say (without letting your ego get in the way and opening your mouth to something you may regret later). Then thank them for their concern. A lot of times people just want to be heard.

The thing is, pursuing what you love is hard enough without getting sucked into other people’s neuroses. If you remember to take a deep breath, listen with your heart and then don’t sweat it, you’ll be less defensive, keep your friends and have the energy to pursue what really matters.

Thinking Man