Archive for September, 2009

September 30th, 2009

How Disneyland's Autopia Ride is Like Your Life

Autopia ridephoto by www.ericcastro.biz

A few posts ago, I wrote an entry entitled, “Staying the Course.”  It was about staying motivated and determined at a gradual pace while mucking through the un-fun parts of following your dreams.  Today though I had a thought.

What if we’re not even trekking on that path?  What if we can’t stay the course because we haven’t even found the right one to start treading on?

Ever go to Disneyland? Well if you’ve been a loyal reader of my little blog, you know that Disneyland isn’t just the happiest place on earth it’s MY happiest place on earth.  That’s how I ended up finding an analogy about life and D.L.

Have you ever rode the autopia ride? You know the one that is close enough to being like a real car to make every little kid who can’t drive excited about driving what they think is “the real thing.”  It’s also the ride that makes young adults who know how to drive also stand in line because it’s totally not the same thing.

Well, I have memories about that ride.  When I was a child, I took the driver’s seat and my grandpa, bless his heart, had the courage to be my passenger.  I learned quickly that there was no real freedom involved since the car was on a track.  When I turned the steering wheel too much to the right or left, the car hit the track and pushed us back on course.  On top of the car jerking back and forth, I also had my grandpa scolding me to, “stay on course!”

Why am I telling you this story? Well this is what I think-if we believe that we haven’t found the right path to the right relationship, the right job, the right life, we’ve been mislead.  I think that like autopia, there is an invisible track keeping us on course.  We’re just oblivious to the subtle jerks that tell us we’re going the wrong way.  Maybe if we wait too long, the signs get bigger and louder, kind of like my grandpa’s voice when I’m getting too far off the track.

So what’s it to you?  Here’s a clue.  If you meet a new guy and he starts talking about his ex-girlfriend, that’s a jerk (pun intended).  Or if you’re offered a job and your stomach starts to turn when you think about it, that’s another jerk.  Every time you do something that causes a reaction, think carefully about it and ask yourself why it’s happening.  Your inner autopia may be directing you to a more authentic life-one that matches up with the true path towards your dreams.

September 29th, 2009

Dealing with "What If…"

Treat yourselfAs I’m writing this post, there’s a lot of “what ifs” going on in my mind.  What if, for example my husband loses his job.  Or what if, I won’t make it as a writer.  I’m sure I’m not the only one with what ifs running around my head these days.  The economy.  The uncertainty.  The evening news.  There are more than enough reasons to pull your hair out these days and all our legit.

But even in times of despair, there are still things we can do to prevent an outright catastrophic breakdown.  Read them along with me as I try to follow my own advice:

Find the silver lining.  This might be a good time to break out that new journal you got.  Start listing down at least 3 things every night that you are grateful for.  Oprah says that even on the worst days, the fact that you are breathing is a blessing.

Take a deep breath.  Try meditating even for 5 minutes or just take a deep breath.  Feeling your breath in your body may help to refocus your attention.

Express yourself.  Go out with your friends, talk to your significant other or write about your worries in a journal.  Expressing yourself may help alleviate or help identify some of your fears.

Treat yourself.  Do something nice for yourself.  Drink a cup of hot cocoa or tea or take a warm bubble bath.  Be a kid again and indulge in a bit of fun just for the day.

Get outside.  Being in nature is so healing.  Take a walk outdoors, go hiking or bicycling and enjoy the peace that comes with feeling the wind on your face.

Spend time with kids or a pet.  Kids and animals help bring you to the present moment.  And a lot of times stress comes from worrying about what will happen in the future and regretting things that happened in the past.  When life gets you down, spend some time with them and experience the blessing of present moment living.

If all else fails, remember a time when things were really hard in your life.  Think about how you handled the situation and what came out of it.  There is usually a gift in every seemingly difficult experience.  We just need both the patience and the faith to help us get to the other side.

September 24th, 2009

Staying the Course

Hawaii HikingPart of life’s challenge is staying happy in midst of struggle.  Pardon me while I use another hiking analogy.  Imagine you are on a rough trail with the heat beating down your back and the sun piercing your eyes.  Do you take a deep breath and enjoy the ride or do you speed up?

If you ask me, I’d try to get to the end as soon as possible.  The process is not enjoyable for me.

But neither is tolerating difficulty, boredom, uncertainty and the other valleys in our lives.

Our struggle is fighting the urge to rush to get to the top.  Maybe it’s an internal desire in us to believe that “bigger is better” or that winners are somehow more worthy than losers.  Whatever it is, sometimes we’re too much in a hurry to achieve greatness to be appreciative of what’s going on in the meantime.

Let’s role play for a minute.  I’ll imagine you asked me, “What’s the worst that can happen by wanting better for myself?”

Well like adrenaline, when there’s a right amount, you actually do better.  Adrenaline and dreaming of success are motivating.

But on the other hand, sometimes wanting too much too soon can have the opposite effect-it can be paralyzing.  Losing 20 pounds, for example, feels overwhelming but having a goal of losing a pound of week seems more doable.

This is why it’s better to do one small thing than to wait for a life changing moment to take action.  If you want to be a successful paid blogger, for example, start small by trying it out as a hobby before you quit your day job.  Or if you’re anxious for your small business to be a big success, focus first on your products and company before you decide to branch out to bigger and better things.

Every thing has its time and place.  Sometimes we try to rush our experience because the not knowing, or the feeling like we might never accomplish our dreams scares us and either paralyzes us or pushes us too quickly into unknown territory.

The cure?

Start small.  Take every moment as it comes.  Dream big but pursue it with baby steps.  You want to know how to get to the top?  Put one foot in front of the other and over time you will eventually get there.  Just be patient, wait and see!

September 21st, 2009

Taking Reader Requests

Since this week is showing itself to be a busy one, I decided to feed two birds with one bread (a.k.a. kill two birds with one stone).  I’m taking up a suggestion from one 2inspired reader Bridget by keeping this one short and sweet and by following an friend’s email challenge she sent today.  So here goes:

In honor of World Gratitude day, I’m taking part in my friend Lea’s Gratitude Challenge.  This means for 21 days I’m going to take note of all the things in my life that I have to be grateful for (something tells me that there will be a lot). You can download the Gratitude Challenge calendar on the website or be like Oprah and write about it in a daily gratitude journal.  I’m opting for the latter.

Anyway, in honor of World Gratitude Day, what do YOU have to be grateful for?
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September 15th, 2009

Free Your Fears and Let Your Inspiration Soar

I’ve been procrastinating-fingers numb, heart tingling, and palms sweating whenever I think about this subject.  I’ve been postponing writing about it since I returned from Hawaii several weeks ago.  But the fear has been holding me hostage.  Inspiration has been drying up and all of a sudden I started wondering where did my passion go?

Did you ever see “Something’s Gotta Give?”  Well if you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend you rent it (or wait for it on TV-TBS plays it like every few weeks).  You aspiring writers out there will get a heart flutter or at least a good chuckle at Diane Keaton’s emotional vulnerability.  I for one LOL every time I see it even though I’ve watched it at least 5 times.

The part that gets me is watching how she uses her passion (in this case her heartbreak from Jack Nicholson’s character) and throws it into her work like fuel to the fire.  Believe me when I say it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

Her courage is her ability to let go and fully experience pain which is both heartbreaking and heartwarming because it is so indicative of what it means to be human.  I admire that.  And the result was that she was able to create her best written work yet.

Whenever we try to quell the flame by burying our pain via alcohol, drugs, food denial, (you name your addiction), or as Alanis Morissette said in her huge cult following song You Learn, “Swallow it down, what a jagged little pill,” we also kill inspiration, passion and our poor muse with it.  Our desire to cover our fears by denying them also takes a toll on our dreams.

How do I know?

Well I’m sitting here typing away at 10 ’til 11 pm, no closer to writing the topic that I’m afraid of writing about let alone think about.

What’s the topic?

If I could write it, it would be written.  It’s between me, my keyboard and my fear of experiencing what the story will do to me.

I know eventually I will get there-mostly because it has to be written.  But I wonder how much of us sacrifice our life’s purpose because we are afraid of what that change will bring.

If you are feeling stuck like me, you might be wondering what’s up?  Is it writer’s block?  Mid-life crisis?  It could be that your emotions are stuck.  It’s kind of like playing a video game but getting stuck at the same level.  You may need to experience something different, learn a lesson, feel your fears, have a good cry or find a new path to get unstuck to get yourself courageously on to the next level.
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September 14th, 2009

Dreaming and Growing

There are developmental stages for growth such as childhood, adolescence, adulthood and late adulthood.  As a grad student in Counseling Psychology, I’m pretty familiar with them.  Yet, I didn’t realize that the growing continues even while pursuing your dreams.

I came up with my own version specifically for those following their dreams.  Here are the life stages of dreaming according to me:

Infancy:  The birth of your dreams.  This early stage is all about discovering who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life.  It can come at any age (age is truly just a number here) and can inspire great change.

Childhood: The fun part.  So you’ve quit that life draining 9 to 5 and bought the business cards. This stage is all about play, exploring and delving deeper into the best parts of living your dreams.

Adolescence: Reality hits.  Rebellion sets in.  Questions such as, “What did I do?”  And, “Should I really have quit my day job?” keeps you up at night.  You start to doubt yourself and your decisions.  Or you begin to ask deeper questions such as, “What kind of writer do I want to be?”  This stage is necessary for discovering your true purpose, getting you clear about what specifically you want to do and how you will get there.  It also helps you gain courage, strength and self-motivation.  You’ll need it.

Adulthood: You feel more confident, have more freedom and you are beginning to revel in the fruits of your labor.  Yet, there are still challenges up ahead.  You’re just better prepared.

Later adulthood:  You’ve got the experience, the success and stay ability to know that you can fulfill your dreams.  At this point, you may have returned to infancy many times, pursuing various other new dreams.  You may also have a strong desire to help others by using your business, skills and experience to mentor or assist them in fulfilling their own dreams.

What stage of dreaming are you on?

Venice

September 11th, 2009

9.11 Reflections

This is not a post about the controversies, conspiracies or theories about the event.  Nor is it a political perspective or tribute.  But it is about what 9.11 represents for each of us.  Days like these make us all reflect on who we are and what is important.

In light of the shadows and sunshines that potentially haunt and enlighten us, let us all return to what really matters in our lives.  Let it bring gratitude to the ingracious and clarity for the lost.

One thing that it has shown is that life is precious.  Remember your dreams.  Open your hearts to the possibility of fulfilling them.  Laugh.  Dance.  Dream.  Love.  Fully experience life as if today were the last but dream of a potentially beautiful tomorrow.  Life is truly magical.  If you open your eyes to experience the feel of warm sunlight or a cool breeze on your cheek, you might awaken to how truly magical life can be.

Read about how a few bloggers (John & Sherry from Young House Love and Deb Ng from Freelance Writing Gigs) were influenced by the day.

I hope that this day will bring all of you healing, hope and love for better days to come.

September 8th, 2009

New Project in the Works

I’ve been working hard to create a professional site solely for my writing. While I’ll be continually updating it to showcase my writing samples and creating posts about writing itself, I’ll still be keeping up with 2inspired and not2shabby.  (By the way, not2shabby’s having a giveaway and the contest ends tomorrow.  If you haven’t already entered, click here.)  If you or someone you know is on the hunt for an experienced writer, please pass on my new website.  Thanks in advance!

September 3rd, 2009

Do You Have the BALLS?!

All this talk about fear has gotten me scared.  I mean COME ON after reading a handful of articles about writer’s who ate only raw food or fast food for a month, or worked in an Alzheimer’s care facility, I started to ask myself, “Do I have the balls to be a writer?”

What does it take to be a writer?  What does it take to do anything we dream of doing for that matter?

Sure there’s talent, skill, experience, luck…Wait, I just watched Oprah today and ventriloquist Terry Fator said luck had nothing to do with his recent multimillion dollar contract with the Mirage Hotel in Vegas. This sucks because I was really hoping to at least get 1 out of 4.

But seriously if it ain’t luck and I’m too much of a chicken to eat tasteless food or take care of Alzheimer’s patients, then what good am I?

If you’re asking yourself the same questions and are thinking “what’s the use in trying,” I’d say think again.  Sure there may be hundreds of thousands-even millions-of people trying to do what you do, but there is also no one else in the world like you.  The best way to transform your dreams into a reality is to find something you are truly passionate about and don’t stop trying.

When I think back on my life as a young girl from a small island, I never would have believed that I would one day travel to Italy and Greece or see my name in a book or a magazine.  I’m sure you have your own story too.  We all need to believe that we were put on this earth for a purpose.  That our individualities, our quirkiness, what makes others think we’re weird, is all part of what makes us unique.  Let’s celebrate that instead of spending time hiding it!

Oprah has said countless times that we should embrace who we are and be good at that instead of trying to be someone else.  I agree and think that courage comes when we let go of the crutches that give us a false sense of security, a pseudo protection from the world.  We need to let go, risk failing and falling hard to grow, hope and dream.

When I was in middle school, probably my most hated time in life, all I wanted was to be like everyone else.  Now in my thirties, I am a cheerleader for my differences.  The more different, the better!  That’s why I think that although I might not have the courage to do any great feat, I can write because I can do one thing right-believe.  Belief in yourself can get you everywhere.  Although you need to talent, a bit of luck and experience to push you through, you can’t go very far unless you believe that you can.

So here’s hoping that with every new endeavor, you carry a stroke of luck, a gift of talent and skill, that you befriend courage and hold belief close to your heart.  That, my friend, is the balls you need to get you through any scary obstacle toward your dreams.

Athens