Archive for ‘How to’

August 5th, 2010

Feeling Overwhelmed? Join the Club

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve got a dozen spinning plates in the air. And no one’s going to help me catch them all.

Why this sudden drama fest?

I’ve been dipping my paint brush into too much things lately.

Besides creating a photography site, I’ve been thinking up fast, easy and cheap crafts on not2shabby, making videos here and maintaining my freelance writing site. I’m also taking a Writer’s Digest course on Inspiring Writing, signed up with two new groups (SITS and the Creative Empire). I’m also querying, social networking and connecting with other like-minded folks. And did I mention I’m also the Associate Editor for Psychcentral.com?

So you can see why I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately?

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July 6th, 2010

A Rock and a Hard Place: How to Make Tough Decisions

Ever have a heart thumping, nail biting, head scratching decision that you just couldn’t make? Where saying, “yes” means saying “no” to something you love and saying “no” does the same thing?

Yep, being stuck between a rock and a hard place is one of the worst places to be in especially when it comes to making a life-changing decision.

When either decision leads to a path unknown, it’s kind of scary to take that leap. And if we don’t? If we stay small, do nothing and avoid making a choice at all cost, the decision will be made for us.

So we either take a risk, sacrifice something good in the process or stay where we are and never grow.

Hard one huh.

What would you do?

  1. When making a decision like that, I go through a decision-making process. It starts with an ole pros and cons list. But truthfully those really don’t help me. It’s a great way to begin to visually put all your cards on the table. For example, should I quit this job that’s not a good fit? A pro could be more free time. A con would be less money. Those lists just put me on a never ending roller coaster ride with my emotions and no one wins.
  2. Then I give in to my self-indulgent side and begin getting feedback from my community. I talk with friends who are more logical than me and others who are as emotional and intuitive as me. In the end, I usually feel more confused than ever. Yet, it’s all part of the process.
  3. After I’ve done my research (listen to others, listen to myself), I sit and do nothing. That’s right. I do everything BUT think about that decision. I read. I play. I bike ride. I meditate.
  4. Then, I listen to my inner truth. The part of me that already knew what I would do in the first place. This happens by slowly and ever so carefully removing other people’s feelings, obligations, my own guilt from the equation, until all that’s left is my own voice. I ask myself, “What would you do if you didn’t care about anything else, but what you want?” I visualize making that decision and I focus in on how I feel physically and emotionally. Then, it’s clear.
  5. All that’s left are having the courage to make that decision, trusting the process, and accepting the result no matter what it is.

So that’s how I handle a tough decision. What about you? What do you do when you feel like you’re in between a rock and a hard place?

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June 24th, 2010

The Nostradamus Effect

What do you think of Nostradamus? Inspiring predictor? Prophet? A guy who caused a big hullabaloo about nothing? Maybe all of the above? Well, I’ve got another confession to make. I’m sort of a believer. Unless it’s just that the History channel’s got power’s of manipulation greater than Luke Skywalker and can make me believe just about anything. It could be. I never believed those signs saying, “The End of the World is Coming” before.

Whatever it is, it’s got me a little freaked. I keep thinking, “Okay I got 2 years! What can I do with 2 years!!” Well actually according to Nostradamus, we actually have until December 21, 2012 so we’ve got little more than that. Time until outer space attacks, we get consumed by volcanoes and tidal waves and some unknown disease gets us all. {Great and I thought the ending of the Oprah show was going to kill me!}

Actually the effect of being scared out of my mind by tonight’s show did wonders to my sense of motivation. Even if you’re not a believer and even if the world won’t end in a few years, we’re still on loan here. I hate to break it to you, but we just don’t know when we’re going to leave this good earth.

Here’s another thing. Maybe being on the threshold of time can work in our favor. Instead of looking at your life as a large, endless playing field, why not shorten the end date and get cracking on all the things you’ve ever wanted to do? Of course, I’m going to help you a little with that.

Here are a few resources to get you in gear. Let the countdown begin!

  1. If you’re not ready for change, do this: Write it down. You don’t have to do anything more than that. Just getting your dreams down on paper starts a weird-I-can’t-really-explain-it process that leads you to your goals. Want evidence? A little less than 10 years ago, I wrote in my journal 10 things I wanted to do before I died (kind of like a bucket list). I was shocked by what I read. I had totally forgotten what I wrote. Maybe my conscious mind forgot I wanted to travel to Europe and live on the mainland, but my subconscious took over and helped me to manifest it into reality.
  2. If you’re ready and willing, do this: Create a plan. As someone who is a lot more right-brain creative than left-brain logical, I have a difficult time with getting down to business. Sure coming up with blog ideas is like taking candy from a baby for me, but give me a puzzle and I’ll stare at it for days and never touch it. Yet, even us right-brainers know the importance of plan making. So I’ve been doing my own research on how to create a business plan. What I’ve come up with is 1) Mind Mapping: That’s something you can do with traditional pen and paper or online. I’ve used both mindmeister and Freemind. They’re both free. If you’re not familiar with mind mapping, basically it’s like clouds of ideas. You start with one then branch out with others. It’s kind of like a free write, free thought, anything goes way to problem solve. A former boss and mentor told me about it and I wished I used it sooner. 2) Google Docs: Create a daily/monthly/yearly task list of things you need to do to get to your goals and find the satisfaction of checking them off when they’re completed.

I just realized that a few of my goals have already came true. Remember when I wrote in this post that a voice in my dream told me, “find your niche. Then follow, find and develop friendships with those who are doing what you want to do and will help support you.” Well, recently I’ve gotten two emails inviting me to a book group and a healthy lifestyle group. Who knows? This may be the people I’ve been hoping for.

Now it’s your turn. What will you do now to meet your dreams halfway?

*If you like what you’re reading and want to stay updated with future posts, you can click on this link to have fresh new 2inspired posts sent directly to you. Thanks for being an awesome reader!

{photo credit}

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April 7th, 2010

Joy Diet Week 4: Creativity

Ooooh, my favorite chapter! At least that’s what I was thinking when I turned to page 66, item #4. I’m all about creativity. In fact, I took O magazine’s quiz, “Who am I meant to be?” and scored highest in the category: Striving to be Creative. So forget nothing (chap 1), truth (2) and desire (3), now I would go straight to the head of the class. Creativity? Easy-peasy!

Could someone hit me over the head please? I forgot that I’m reading, “The Joy DIET.” I’m forgetting that bringing in joy means delving deep into your psyche, going past superficiality and shallow happiness, into the real meat that is true, authentic and raw emotion-real joy. Pass the tissue please.

If I had a temporary jolt of insanity, I was quickly reminded that Beck is a genius. Genius because she’s able to twist, shatter and turn my mind upside down. This week isn’t about buddying up with Martha Stewart and creating a spring floral arrangement, it’s about creativity in the sense of bringing life to our desires. Desires (in case you missed week 3) like writing a book, helping inspire others, etc. Or it could be less grand like, “I want to buy a bunny or take a trip to the beach.”

Ms. Beck says to first get past our long-held belief that talent and creativity are inborn, easy feats, that we are 100% responsible for and oftentimes doesn’t work. I L-O-V-E the part where she says this,” I’ve noticed that the biggest difference between wildly successful people and total failures is that the successful people fail more.” Then I think I’ve got a head start!

The next part asks us to ask ourselves how to get there. For example, “How can I write a self-help book?” Then, go crazy writing as much answers that come to mind, the nuttier the better, which is good because I have a mind filled with nutty answers. There were a few jewels in there too though like take a class and ask other authors.

When you’ve reached your limit, Beck says to dig in deeper and gives a bunch of creative (here’s where the mind-boggling started) ways to find more solutions. My all-time favorite is when she asks readers to think of an enemy, list their obnoxious traits and then (to get to your dreams) adopt them. Her thinking is that the reason why certain people really bug us is that they are mirrors reflecting what we haven’t accepted in ourselves. It could be a behavior that we were taught was bad or unacceptable and denying that part of us may be keeping us from getting to our dreams. Wild isn’t it?

At first, I just kind of scratched my head and sat there, mind-boggled and trying to let it all sink in. Then, I thought of someone who drives me crazy and had my ah-ha moment when I realized that selfish people were my pet peeve. And had a even bigger ah-ha when I suddenly got it! My whole life I’ve been taught to be selfless, but what’s been preventing me from following my dreams is a focus on not being selfish. I realized that being selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, according to Dictionary.com it means, “devoted to or caring only for one’s self.” I think there are times when we all need to be selfish. I realized that how else would I get everything I desire if I’m not a little selfish. Funny how that works huh?

There are tons of gems in this chapter, but I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you. I hope you’ll pick up a book and join me. It’s not all hard gut-wrenching parts, there’s a ton of insight, wisdom and fun too!

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March 15th, 2010

A Joyful Diet

A joyful diet sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? But as spring approaches, I’m dieting to find out.

First of all, I have to say I’m not a dieting girl. Every time I attempt to go on a diet, it lasts all of 6 hours and then I’m spent. I think the problem is that most diets are all about deprivation. And frankly, I don’t have the time and energy for that.

But JOY?! That I could get into. Especially since the person who wrote it is one of my favorite authors: life coach, O magazine contributor and best-selling author Ms. Martha Beck.

After reading two of her books, I was craving more. More importantly joy is actually something I wouldn’t mind going on a diet for.

So here’s the deal:

There’s 10 tips for Martha Beck’s Joy Diet. I’m going to try it, one a week for the next 10 weeks and see if it brings me more joy.

Are you in?

You can follow along here or get your own book (The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life) and try it with me.

*Haven’t forgot about my BIG surprise yet? Have you? Well stick around because I’m unveiling the green treat this Wednesday, March 17th.

CategoryBook Reviews, Happiness, How to | Comment1 Comment »

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September 29th, 2009

Dealing with "What If…"

Treat yourselfAs I’m writing this post, there’s a lot of “what ifs” going on in my mind.  What if, for example my husband loses his job.  Or what if, I won’t make it as a writer.  I’m sure I’m not the only one with what ifs running around my head these days.  The economy.  The uncertainty.  The evening news.  There are more than enough reasons to pull your hair out these days and all our legit.

But even in times of despair, there are still things we can do to prevent an outright catastrophic breakdown.  Read them along with me as I try to follow my own advice:

Find the silver lining.  This might be a good time to break out that new journal you got.  Start listing down at least 3 things every night that you are grateful for.  Oprah says that even on the worst days, the fact that you are breathing is a blessing.

Take a deep breath.  Try meditating even for 5 minutes or just take a deep breath.  Feeling your breath in your body may help to refocus your attention.

Express yourself.  Go out with your friends, talk to your significant other or write about your worries in a journal.  Expressing yourself may help alleviate or help identify some of your fears.

Treat yourself.  Do something nice for yourself.  Drink a cup of hot cocoa or tea or take a warm bubble bath.  Be a kid again and indulge in a bit of fun just for the day.

Get outside.  Being in nature is so healing.  Take a walk outdoors, go hiking or bicycling and enjoy the peace that comes with feeling the wind on your face.

Spend time with kids or a pet.  Kids and animals help bring you to the present moment.  And a lot of times stress comes from worrying about what will happen in the future and regretting things that happened in the past.  When life gets you down, spend some time with them and experience the blessing of present moment living.

If all else fails, remember a time when things were really hard in your life.  Think about how you handled the situation and what came out of it.  There is usually a gift in every seemingly difficult experience.  We just need both the patience and the faith to help us get to the other side.

CategoryFacing Fears, How to | Comment1 Comment »

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September 14th, 2009

Dreaming and Growing

There are developmental stages for growth such as childhood, adolescence, adulthood and late adulthood.  As a grad student in Counseling Psychology, I’m pretty familiar with them.  Yet, I didn’t realize that the growing continues even while pursuing your dreams.

I came up with my own version specifically for those following their dreams.  Here are the life stages of dreaming according to me:

Infancy:  The birth of your dreams.  This early stage is all about discovering who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life.  It can come at any age (age is truly just a number here) and can inspire great change.

Childhood: The fun part.  So you’ve quit that life draining 9 to 5 and bought the business cards. This stage is all about play, exploring and delving deeper into the best parts of living your dreams.

Adolescence: Reality hits.  Rebellion sets in.  Questions such as, “What did I do?”  And, “Should I really have quit my day job?” keeps you up at night.  You start to doubt yourself and your decisions.  Or you begin to ask deeper questions such as, “What kind of writer do I want to be?”  This stage is necessary for discovering your true purpose, getting you clear about what specifically you want to do and how you will get there.  It also helps you gain courage, strength and self-motivation.  You’ll need it.

Adulthood: You feel more confident, have more freedom and you are beginning to revel in the fruits of your labor.  Yet, there are still challenges up ahead.  You’re just better prepared.

Later adulthood:  You’ve got the experience, the success and stay ability to know that you can fulfill your dreams.  At this point, you may have returned to infancy many times, pursuing various other new dreams.  You may also have a strong desire to help others by using your business, skills and experience to mentor or assist them in fulfilling their own dreams.

What stage of dreaming are you on?

Venice

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September 3rd, 2009

Do You Have the BALLS?!

All this talk about fear has gotten me scared.  I mean COME ON after reading a handful of articles about writer’s who ate only raw food or fast food for a month, or worked in an Alzheimer’s care facility, I started to ask myself, “Do I have the balls to be a writer?”

What does it take to be a writer?  What does it take to do anything we dream of doing for that matter?

Sure there’s talent, skill, experience, luck…Wait, I just watched Oprah today and ventriloquist Terry Fator said luck had nothing to do with his recent multimillion dollar contract with the Mirage Hotel in Vegas. This sucks because I was really hoping to at least get 1 out of 4.

But seriously if it ain’t luck and I’m too much of a chicken to eat tasteless food or take care of Alzheimer’s patients, then what good am I?

If you’re asking yourself the same questions and are thinking “what’s the use in trying,” I’d say think again.  Sure there may be hundreds of thousands-even millions-of people trying to do what you do, but there is also no one else in the world like you.  The best way to transform your dreams into a reality is to find something you are truly passionate about and don’t stop trying.

When I think back on my life as a young girl from a small island, I never would have believed that I would one day travel to Italy and Greece or see my name in a book or a magazine.  I’m sure you have your own story too.  We all need to believe that we were put on this earth for a purpose.  That our individualities, our quirkiness, what makes others think we’re weird, is all part of what makes us unique.  Let’s celebrate that instead of spending time hiding it!

Oprah has said countless times that we should embrace who we are and be good at that instead of trying to be someone else.  I agree and think that courage comes when we let go of the crutches that give us a false sense of security, a pseudo protection from the world.  We need to let go, risk failing and falling hard to grow, hope and dream.

When I was in middle school, probably my most hated time in life, all I wanted was to be like everyone else.  Now in my thirties, I am a cheerleader for my differences.  The more different, the better!  That’s why I think that although I might not have the courage to do any great feat, I can write because I can do one thing right-believe.  Belief in yourself can get you everywhere.  Although you need to talent, a bit of luck and experience to push you through, you can’t go very far unless you believe that you can.

So here’s hoping that with every new endeavor, you carry a stroke of luck, a gift of talent and skill, that you befriend courage and hold belief close to your heart.  That, my friend, is the balls you need to get you through any scary obstacle toward your dreams.

Athens

CategoryFacing Fears, Following your dreams, Freelance writing, How to, Inspirational Stories | Comment2 Comments »

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August 19th, 2009

The Return of Simplicity

Do you remember the time when only doctors and dentists owned pagers and cell phones?  When needing to get in touch with someone was an actual emergency?  Before iPhones and cellphones and laptops, iPods, and Kindles peppered coffee shops and bookstores, interrupted meetings, lunches or shopping trips.  Sure it may have been a lot more boring, but boredom inspired imagination and creativity.

I have fond members of those so called boring times.  It’s when paper boats were made on rainy days, large cardboard boxes became my box car and catepillars were caught in glass jars as we waited patiently for them to transform.   Today feels like more than a hop, skip and a few years from that time.  We’ve progressed technologically but at what cost to our sense of simplicity?

As you may have already guessed, I’ve been taking a little break from my blogging.  Maybe once every other day instead of every day.  The reason?  I’m actually on vacation in Hawaii.  But before you get all jealous of me, I have to preface this by explaining that I am from Hawaii.  Okay still envious eh?  Well it’s pretty hot and humid here and all I have been doing is sweating!

On the positive side, I have had ample time to reflect on my life.  Whenever I come home, I am reminded of a slower paced existence.  Yesterday I spent the day with my dad.  He drove around the island.  We pigged out on local food, sweet island tea and shave ice and I sweated out the fat and sugar while we road around.  As I sat in the car watching the world pass me by, I grew suddenly sick.  What was I doing?  Shouldn’t I be doing something?  Doesn’t my blog need to be written?  Shouldn’t I be tweeting?  Will I lose my beloved followers if I suddenly disappear?

Then, we stopped at a beach.  As I walked in the soft pudding like  sand, my slippers sunk in and the waves ran over them like warm hands pulling me in.  I walked slowly, waved at two local guys on a boat passing me by and I just exhaled.  Simplicity was back and I wasn’t going anywhere.

At that point, I lost my dad for several minutes.  I walked in circles until I eventually caught up with him and watched as he used his net to haphazardly pull up fresh bait for his fish.  Time passed and I kind of got lost in the moment.  It was quite meditative and more natural than doing any type of forced meditation.  I have to admit that I enjoyed doing nothing.  Doing nothing had a purpose.  It provided me with a renewed sense of what it means to be alive.  And it got me thinking-how many of us go through life feeling behind, like we’ll never catch up and in doing so miss out on the precious moments of our life.  I don’t think life is supposed to be about how much we accomplish or the things we need to do to succeed.  I think maybe it’s the kind of moments that sneak up on you, when you least expect it, when you are doing “nothing.”  Those are the times that remind you to take a step back, breathe, sink your feet in the sand, and remember the importance of simplicity.

CategoryHow to, Inspirational Stories | Comment3 Comments »

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