Archive for August, 2009

August 25th, 2009

Life's Haunting Questions

What makes a life?  Is it the things we do?  The places we visit?  The people we know?  Or is it comprised of what we neglect?  The choices we didn’t make, the path we didn’t take?  The older I get, the more I am a witness to life’s greatest pleasures and pain.  It’s who we are and who we become despite the challenges we face and in spite what life throws at us.  The thing is-how do we accept what isn’t working in our lives and tranforms them into butterflies?

Life comes and goes and we can choose to embrace all of it-the happiest moments and the most difficult or we can stand in front of it and pretend none of it exists.  When it comes to life’s thorns, do we let ourselves experience the pain or cover our wounds with a band-aid?

August 22nd, 2009

A Thoughtful Question

In my last post, I talked about the return to simplicity.  It was inspired by my desire to return to Hawaii.  I’ve been living on the mainland for about 7 years with time in Oregon and California and everytime I go back I feel a difference.  It kind of feels like I’ve lost chunks of time in my life, as if I traveled through a time machine and when I returned home everything changed.

The first time away I was in my early twenties and summer was 3 months of going out with friends and dancing until the next morning.  Then after I graduated college and moved home for a few years, friends coupled up and settled down, planting their roots in corporate jobs.  I, on the other hand, felt like I hadn’t had enough and left again.  Somewhere between my mid and late-twenties everyone got married and I still had little desire to plunker down.

My dog got older.  My grandmas got older.  And this time around everyone’s on the third leg of the race with babies and kids and I still wonder, “Have I done enough?”  And will the pockets of time missed here become gigantic gulfs of missed memories one day that I will regret experiencing?

Have you ever asked yourself the same question?  Are you stuck in a job you hate?  Feeling in a rut?  Life happens whether we jump or not.  I guess the real question is, “What are we willing to sacrifice to live the life we are living?”

August 19th, 2009

The Return of Simplicity

Do you remember the time when only doctors and dentists owned pagers and cell phones?  When needing to get in touch with someone was an actual emergency?  Before iPhones and cellphones and laptops, iPods, and Kindles peppered coffee shops and bookstores, interrupted meetings, lunches or shopping trips.  Sure it may have been a lot more boring, but boredom inspired imagination and creativity.

I have fond members of those so called boring times.  It’s when paper boats were made on rainy days, large cardboard boxes became my box car and catepillars were caught in glass jars as we waited patiently for them to transform.   Today feels like more than a hop, skip and a few years from that time.  We’ve progressed technologically but at what cost to our sense of simplicity?

As you may have already guessed, I’ve been taking a little break from my blogging.  Maybe once every other day instead of every day.  The reason?  I’m actually on vacation in Hawaii.  But before you get all jealous of me, I have to preface this by explaining that I am from Hawaii.  Okay still envious eh?  Well it’s pretty hot and humid here and all I have been doing is sweating!

On the positive side, I have had ample time to reflect on my life.  Whenever I come home, I am reminded of a slower paced existence.  Yesterday I spent the day with my dad.  He drove around the island.  We pigged out on local food, sweet island tea and shave ice and I sweated out the fat and sugar while we road around.  As I sat in the car watching the world pass me by, I grew suddenly sick.  What was I doing?  Shouldn’t I be doing something?  Doesn’t my blog need to be written?  Shouldn’t I be tweeting?  Will I lose my beloved followers if I suddenly disappear?

Then, we stopped at a beach.  As I walked in the soft pudding like  sand, my slippers sunk in and the waves ran over them like warm hands pulling me in.  I walked slowly, waved at two local guys on a boat passing me by and I just exhaled.  Simplicity was back and I wasn’t going anywhere.

At that point, I lost my dad for several minutes.  I walked in circles until I eventually caught up with him and watched as he used his net to haphazardly pull up fresh bait for his fish.  Time passed and I kind of got lost in the moment.  It was quite meditative and more natural than doing any type of forced meditation.  I have to admit that I enjoyed doing nothing.  Doing nothing had a purpose.  It provided me with a renewed sense of what it means to be alive.  And it got me thinking-how many of us go through life feeling behind, like we’ll never catch up and in doing so miss out on the precious moments of our life.  I don’t think life is supposed to be about how much we accomplish or the things we need to do to succeed.  I think maybe it’s the kind of moments that sneak up on you, when you least expect it, when you are doing “nothing.”  Those are the times that remind you to take a step back, breathe, sink your feet in the sand, and remember the importance of simplicity.

August 18th, 2009

Playing Limbo With My Life

Have you ever been stuck with one foot in the door and the other one behind holding you back?  Well I have!  In fact, I had a friend once tell me in impatience that I need to learn how to make decisions and stick by it regardless of the outcome.  But deciding what to do when you can’t predict what will happen next is a doozy of a decision.

I was in limbo, for example, going back and forth like a tennis ball when desperately contemplating whether I should stay at my job or leave.  My indecision left everyone dizzy.  Some days I was all for it-screw that job I’d say!  Other days I thought, “Well if only I could tough it out just one more day.”

The same crazy back and forth decision-making process throws me for a loop everytime.  Should I quit?  Should I stay?  Should I move?  Should I stay?  Basically I’m asking, “Should I go or should I stay?”  Yes, stability, sameness, similarity (the 3’s) are all about feeling (here’s another one) safe.  I know where I am now.  I know who I’m dealing with now and I have some sort of pseudo control over what I am going through.  But if I take that step and drag that back leg forward and jump, will I be making the biggest mistake of my life?  Will I one day regret this move?  Will I one day ask myself why I couldn’t have been comfortable in my comfort zone?

The scary part is that there are no answers.  There’s no guidebook or instruction booklet like a recipe that you can follow word for word or a person, place or thing you can hold responsible when everything goes up in flames.  Perhaps, that’s what being human means.  Having the courage to know what we’re jumping into and jumping in anyway.

Although I’m still swinging back and forth in my decisions, I’m learning to enjoy the ride.  It also helps when I realize how many big jumps I’ve already made and far I’ve already come.  It’s kind of like taking a hike up a steep mountain.  You may not know what’s ahead or if you’ll even like it, but you can turn around and see how far you’ve already come.   And in that, you can keep treading ahead, stronger and wiser.

It’s all about listening to that quiet but clear voice.  The one that gets smothered by the “what if’s” and “shoulds” of the world.  I think we all know what we have to do.  When we listen to it, we make that big leap a whole lot smaller.

August 14th, 2009

New Section to 2Inspired

I just added a new tab to my 2inspired blog. It’s a portfolio of a few of my past writing samples. If you are thinking of hiring a writer for your business, or just curious to know what I’ve been up to, check it out.

August 14th, 2009

A Personal Dream Fulfilled

One of my dreams is to see my name in a magazine. My ultimate wish is to be a magazine columnist. That’s why I was over the moon when I finally saw my name in print. It may be a small step in the publishing world but a big step for a small town girl like me.   

Eucalyptus Magazine Tea TimeEucalyptus Magazine Tea Time 2

If you are interested in reading the full article, go here.

Eucalyptus Magazine Gym Article

August 11th, 2009

Just Say No: How Saying No Can Help You Say Yes to What You Really Want

On the well worn path toward the gold at the end of the rainbow, there will be many sidesteps along the way. Sometimes the road is unpaved and hard and there are no signs along the way to alert you where to go. And then you see a temporary haven, an easy way out, a shortcut towards your dreams. The question is do you take it?

Well if you have been reading my blog for a few weeks now, you know that I’ve favored saying yes in the past. That’s why you might be surprised to now read that I’ve had a change of heart. Maybe it is not always good to say yes to every opportunity.  In fact, recently I have relearned the value of saying no.

Sometimes when we’re on our way to fulfilling our dreams it can seem like forever and the gap between where we are now until where we want to be can feel overwhelming. But oftentimes we can’t see how close we are to the end.  We’re on our final lap and we don’t even know it but in our frustration we may give up too easily.  

When we are feeling desperate, we start desiring anything and everything.  You know the feeling you get when you’ve been dieting for too long and EVERYTHING starts to look good!  Well that’s what happens when you feel like you’ll never get the relationship, the job, or that plum writing assignment you are dreaming of.  Out of desperation you begin thinking of giving up.  You might think to yourself, “I might as well just ___ (fill in the blank with your chosen act of desperation) because I won’t ever get to ______ (fill in the blank with your dream).”

Well I’m hear to tell you, “Just Say No!” Although the temptation may be great, taking that low paying job or that high paying job you hate just because you are worried you won’t ever get there will only get you even farther from your dreams.  Stick to your goals.  Remember why you came here in the first place.  And don’t ever let your feelings of insecurites, self-doubt and desperation talk you into saying yes to living a life that’s less than the one that you deserve.  You will get there with time, patience, hard work and the belief that you can really succeed.  Trust me.  Saying yes to opportunities you don’t believe in and that doesn’t fulfill you is less of an opportunity and more of a temporary shortcut, one that will undermine your hardwork and prevent you from living the life of your dreams.

Path

August 7th, 2009

Finding Inspiration in Books

You know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? Well I would also say that it takes a village to follow your dreams. There are a lot of people that helped motivate me to quit my mundane corporate job. Although I was passionate and ready, when the majority tells you to stay and fit in with society, going against the grain is difficult to say the least.

And though I am not receiving any Pulitzers anytime soon, I have done better than I expected in a surprisingly short period of time. For that I have a lot to be grateful for and a lot of people to thank. So if I was standing on the podium now, giving my, “I’d like to thank the Academy speech,” I’d start off by thanking my husband, my friends and family that support me, my coach Jaqui, fellow freelance writers and all the books that have pushed me from maybe to, “Yes, I can!”  I thought I’d leave a list of resources for those of you looking to take your own leap into dreamville.

  1. A great book for helping you find your dreams and then giving you the courage to follow them: Martha Beck, “Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
  2. Helped me to discover what kind of artist I was and how that effects the best career for me. Great for other creatives out there: Carol Lloyd, “Creating a Life Worth Living-A Practical Course in Career Design for Artists, Innovators, and Others Aspiring to a Creative Life.”
  3. Strengthens your intuitive muscle: Thomas Moore, “A Life at Work-The Joy of Discovering What You Were Born to Do.”
  4. Helps you to create a plan to escape from the corporate jungle: Michelle Goodman, “The Anti 9 to 5 Guide-Practical Career Advice for Women Who Think Outside the Cube.”
  5. This book gave me hope that I can do it on my own, that there were others going through the same ups and downs as me and that we could all come out alive, happy and successful: Kristen Fischer, “Creative Self-Employed-How Writers and Artists Deal with Career Ups and Downs.”
  6. Absolutely loved this book. It was one of the first books I read about helping me rediscover my dream to be a writer: Barbara Sher, “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was-How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It.”
  7. Great book for women entrepreneurs: Lauren Bacon & Emira Mears, “The Boss of You: Everything A Woman Needs to Know to Start, Run, and Maintain Her Own Business.” 

Whew! That was a lot of books. I still have a whole bunch that I’m still reading. Stay tuned for more lists of great resources for creative dreamers like me.

August 4th, 2009

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Read This Before You Go After Your Dreams

When I left corporate life almost a month ago, I didn’t realize how different going on my own would be. I did not know for example, how freeing it would be or how I would suddenly feel alive again. I also didn’t know how emotionally challenging and financially straining it could be. I remember a friend telling me something similar about having a baby. She said she knew it would be hard, but was surprised at how hard. In this way, creating your own business or going for your dream job are a lot like having your own baby. It’s a creative endeavor that requires courage, strength, and perseverance. You love it. It’s yours but no one likes to talk about the hard part. So here’s the realistic side of going for your dreams.

  1. It will test every ounce of courage you have. It will test your faith. And it will force you to face every insecurity and self-doubt you have about your abilities, intentions and passion. Is this REALLY what you want to do? Be prepared because life will ask you this question over and over again with every challenge that comes your way. Think about this every time, you receive a letter of rejection. Think about how much you want it. 
  2. There are a lot of wolves out there. Not everyone out in the world is nice and friendly. When you work at a regular 9 to 5, you deal with difficult people but you know who they are and what to expect. When you go out on your own, the wolves sometimes are disguised and you never know who you’re getting-the nice old lady or the money hungry wolf. Be kind and courteous to everyone and if you don’t receive that in return, look for the nearest exit.
  3. You’ll lose sight of your goals. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the emotional stuff that comes with following your dreams. The reason? Because it’s personal. What’s not personal are the negative reactions of others, critiques you get, and any seemingly misstep along the way. Remember who you are, why you’re doing this and you will remember what you are doing here in the first place. Use that to counterattack any negativity that comes your way.
  4. You will question your abilities. When life is good, things seem easy. Smooth sailing doesn’t always last, however. And that’s a good thing. Challenges and bumps in the road are there to force us to grow and get out of our comfort zone. In the corporate world I often thought, “This is too easy and I’m bored!” When you start asking yourself, “Am I really good enough?” You know you’re in the right place.
  5. You will wonder if you made the right decision to leave. No matter how bad the situation was, you’ll begin to question whether you made the right decision by leaving. The fear of the unknown is often the culprit. All it should take is a trip down memory lane to remind you why you left in the first place. Keep your eyes looking forward and don’t look back. Remember that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Growth exists somewhere between being too comfortable and being uncomfortable. Here’s hoping that no matter where you are, you find a bit of good in the bad and beauty in the ugly. Venice

August 3rd, 2009

Practice Your Happy Dance

I just finished reading The Boss of You by Emira Mears and Lauren Bacon. They devoted an entire chapter about celebrating your successes. An entire chapter! What does that say? Well to me it says being your own cheerleader is just as important as anything else when following your dreams.

This means no more thinking that the happy dance or that bottle of champagne that you’ve been saving, are for when you REALLY strike it big. The little moments deserve attention too. In fact, in their book Mears and Bacon list risk taking and even enduring a rough week as enough reason to celebrate and I agree. If not now, then when?

Sometimes we have this fear, usually us women, that if we indulge in a little celebration, that arrogance that life is really going well will come back and bite us in the behind. But I think that kind of thinking only sets us up for more disappointment. Life has its ups and downs but when we do a little happy dance when things are good, we’re inviting more good things our way. And we can either focus on being grateful for what we do have or suffer in what we don’t. I’d chose the former and I’d advise you to do the same. 

After all, the path of a dreamer is a long, challenging one. We’re going to need a lot of happy dances along the way!

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