Posts tagged ‘Facing your fears’

June 21st, 2010

The Wizard of Oz's Cowardly Lion Gets His Badge of Courage

What does it take to have courage? To go from standing at the edge of where you are to where you want to be, then make that leap?

The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz had to face his fears to get his medal of courage. Although outwardly he seems scary and fierce, inside he’s as vulnerable and fearful as a mouse. His intimidation is just a facade. Like many of us he so desires courage and bravery, yet he’s too afraid to do the things necessary (face his fears) to earn them.

But what can we, mere humans do, to fight our fears and wear courage on our sleeve, take big risks so that we can live the life of our dreams?

Fortunately for most of us, much of our fears are internal. We don’t need to chase our food or physically fight for our lives. When our hearts thump and our palms sweat, it’s usually because there’s something we need to do, but we don’t know if we a) have the courage to face it b) deserve the rewards that come with facing them.

So what do we do?

Well we can flee, run under the covers and hide. We can eat, shop and do anything else to escape from how we really feel because the anxiety of knowing what we want to do versus what we are doing now is too big of a pill to swallow.

Or we can…

  1. Make a plan. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the goal itself, creating a plan of where we want to be can help you feel like you’re doing something (alleviating some of your anxiety) when you’re not quite ready to make the leap.
  2. Take small steps toward your goal. Whether it’s researching other companies, finding out how much money you need to save for that trip you’ve always wanted to take or reading a biography on someone who’s life you want to emulate, small steps will eventually get you to your goal. Doing them will empower you, give you courage, confidence to go for the big stuff when you’re ready to take that step.
  3. Be open and listen to what’s going on around you. This year was a tough one for me. I’ve made tons of mistakes and continue to do so. But what has helped me more than anything is to be still and open to what life wants to teach me. When I have faith and trust in the process instead of forcing change, I gain tons of wisdom and insight and things tend to work out for itself in the end. Two things happened recently, which caused a shift in my thinking. For one, I heard about someone who made a huge risk and did something I was fearing myself. Knowing that someone else did what I was so afraid to do and survived it, gave me the courage to take that leap. Secondly, I prayed about a solution to my problems. I was making all these small changes in my life, but I was ready to risk big to live a BIG life. This morning when I woke I had the answer to my prayers. While I was sleeping, I heard someone say, “Just find your niche. Then follow, find and develop friendships with those who are doing what you want to do and will help support you.”

You already have the tools to be courageous. Perhaps you just needed to be reminded of that. But you can do it. Hope this post will help you get there!

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December 2nd, 2009

What Facing My Fear Taught Me

So I did it. I opened myself raw to the possibility of being ridiculed and humiliated and you know what? It ain’t so bad. Sure, I haven’t seen the footage yet and won’t see it until some time next year, but so far so good. My being is intact.

Prior to yesterday, I’d often wondered in judgement why some people go on reality shows. While I still don’t completely understand it, I did come out with a fresh perspective.

I came out thinking that maybe not everybody did it for fame or money. Maybe some like myself, did it to conquer their fears.

Although I shriveled up like a shrinking violet in the eye of a camera and fuzzy microphone, I still stood up straight and smiled. It took every ounce of courage to fight my inner desire to run.

This wasn’t the first time I’ve been camera. Actually it’s my third, but this one was a lot harder. Instead of being a passerby, this one involved me speaking on camera, answering spontaneous questions. Two things I detest. Yet, I found the courage to do it and felt empowered by it.

I wish everyone had the experience to challenge themselves and take the opportunity to try something new or face a fear. Whether it’s talking in front of hundreds of people or traveling to a new country, I think what you get when you face your fears is a gift worth receiving. The experience is inspiring, quite invigorating and in the end invites more positive opportunities.

Besides re-confirming my belief that I will never be an actor, it showed me that I’m capable of quite a lot. And that’s an invaluable lesson, one that I would have missed had I given in to the fear and chose safety and comfort instead.

Have you done anything that scared you lately? If so, I’d love to hear it.

October 6th, 2009

Three Strikes and You're Out!

Baseballphoto by: Sister72

I’ve been getting a lot of signs lately.  Signs that tell me I’m going in the right direction and signs that have been telling me I need to go on a different path.

Yesterday, for example, I was feeling down and out and doubting my dreams as a writer.  Then, I turned on the TV to Oprah and saw that the theme was, “Don’t Stop Believing” based on the song by Journey.  I also had personal question that was answered when I watched, “The View.”

But I also got more negative signs.  Part of my problem has been, for example, not creating contracts with my clients.  After going through it two times in a row, I finally got it-doh!  I need to start taking responsibility for the life that I am creating.  And part of that is having the courage to ask for what I need.

I began wondering how many of us go through our days with signs coming at us left and right, but fail to hear them, because of fear.  Fear of what others will think of us.  Fear of asking and not getting what we need.  Or even fear of what we will do when we get everything we ask for.

Part of following our dreams requires strength, courage and action.  We cannot sit around idly waiting for them to come true.  We need to take the steps necessary to fulfill them.  Listen to the signs you get externally and internally to know what to do next.

I truly believe that life is magical, that dreams can come true.  But part of that journey is walking that line between who we were and who we want to be.  Part of that path is about taking a deep breath, trusting our instincts and then making a decision to follow the life of our dreams.

July 22nd, 2009

Facing the Music

One of the greatest challenges to success is facing ones fears. You’ll notice it’s a reoccurring theme in my blog and seen here in my previous interview with Life Coach Jaqui Duvall. The real question then, is why are we so scared of success?

On LiveStrong.com and in a post titled, “Handling Fear of Success,” licensed psychologist James J Messina talks to Jake Lawson about what those fears are and why they prevent us from success.  Some of the reasons such as the fear of not being good enough, fear of not being happy once we achieve our goals and fear of being recognized when we do well, sound all too familiar to me. When someone compliments my writing, for example, I’m always scrounging around for words of critique versus praise.

But why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Isn’t the goal in life to be happy, to succeed, to accomplish all of our dreams? When we play video games or board games, how often are we worried about these same fears? We seldom think that we don’t deserve to win. But in the game of life, why is that we take ourselves out of the race, even before the competition has really begun?

It may be those self-sabotaging beliefs that motivated our actions as children such as, “nobody likes a winner” or “it’s best not to stand out from the crowd.” It could also be a deep, underlying belief that we are somehow unworthy of success because who are we really?!

The solution? Although there’s no easy solution, there are hope and love. Hope allows you to believe that dreams are possible and love involves loving yourself enough to believe that you can. Not everyone can make it to the top, but I truly believe that everyone deserves the chance to get there.

At the top of the mountain

July 13th, 2009

My Worst Fear Comes True

When you’re slaving a way at your stable 9 to 5, not much really scares you.  Life is often boringly easy.  Maybe that’s why we stay in it so long.  Having a paycheck come in every few weeks becomes a luxury when we take that leap from desk job to the job of our dreams.

As I transition from corporate life to being a full-time freelancer, I’m realizing how scary and exhilarating making that jump is.  I thought just entering the field was terrifying enough but there are many, equally scary steps along the way.  

For me it was my fear of my tape recorder not working in an important interview I had scheduled.  I did everything I could to prevent my fear from happening.  I brought a dozen batteries and two tape recorders and tested both three times before I went.  And guess what?  Both didn’t work!  

What I got instead was a lesson learned.  We can prepare but we can’t control life.  Even when your worst case scenario becomes a reality, life goes on. Embrace the fear, and you’ll find that you receive more than you lose.  So I didn’t get the entire conversation on tape.  Instead I took good notes, listened well and made a connection with the interviewee.  And most importantly I learned not to allow my fear to get the best of me.    

Florence


June 16th, 2009

Oh No! I'm George!

While in a feverish state, I heard familiar voices coming from the television.  No I wasn’t hallucinating.  It was episode 7 of Seinfeld, the one where George quits his job in reaction to his boss’s memo asking him not to use his private bathroom.  George explains to Jerry, “I snapped! It was the last straw.”

Although initially he felt pretty confident about his decision to quit, he later doubts what he did when Jerry asks,”So, what are you gonna do now?”  As his anger dissipates, his fear begins to rise.  Now what’s he going to do with his life?  

Of course in true George Costanza fashion, he starts backpedaling and ends up trying to go back the job he hated.  Humorous for him, not so funny for us.  

Even though few would admit, many of us suffer from the same fate.  Not out of need for money but fear that we won’t find what we’re looking for.  Whether it’s a job or a relationship, sometimes we’d rather be in it just for the sake of having something or someone cause the unknown seems a whole lot scarier.

I say if we could only wait a little longer, hold on, have faith, we might end up finding exactly what we’re looking for.  But the longer we remain grasping whatever is “enough for now,” the harder it’ll be for that great ____ (add house, husband, job, etc. here) to find room in our lives.

 The only way to get to that gold at the end of the rainbow?  Embrace your inner strength.  Face that fear and learn to be without, at least for a little while.  It’s a surefire way you won’t end up being another George Costanza!

For you Seinfeld fans, here’s extras on the episode aptly titled, “The Revenge.”
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T02r7mlhEmA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1]