Posts tagged ‘life lessons’

July 6th, 2010

A Rock and a Hard Place: How to Make Tough Decisions

Ever have a heart thumping, nail biting, head scratching decision that you just couldn’t make? Where saying, “yes” means saying “no” to something you love and saying “no” does the same thing?

Yep, being stuck between a rock and a hard place is one of the worst places to be in especially when it comes to making a life-changing decision.

When either decision leads to a path unknown, it’s kind of scary to take that leap. And if we don’t? If we stay small, do nothing and avoid making a choice at all cost, the decision will be made for us.

So we either take a risk, sacrifice something good in the process or stay where we are and never grow.

Hard one huh.

What would you do?

  1. When making a decision like that, I go through a decision-making process. It starts with an ole pros and cons list. But truthfully those really don’t help me. It’s a great way to begin to visually put all your cards on the table. For example, should I quit this job that’s not a good fit? A pro could be more free time. A con would be less money. Those lists just put me on a never ending roller coaster ride with my emotions and no one wins.
  2. Then I give in to my self-indulgent side and begin getting feedback from my community. I talk with friends who are more logical than me and others who are as emotional and intuitive as me. In the end, I usually feel more confused than ever. Yet, it’s all part of the process.
  3. After I’ve done my research (listen to others, listen to myself), I sit and do nothing. That’s right. I do everything BUT think about that decision. I read. I play. I bike ride. I meditate.
  4. Then, I listen to my inner truth. The part of me that already knew what I would do in the first place. This happens by slowly and ever so carefully removing other people’s feelings, obligations, my own guilt from the equation, until all that’s left is my own voice. I ask myself, “What would you do if you didn’t care about anything else, but what you want?” I visualize making that decision and I focus in on how I feel physically and emotionally. Then, it’s clear.
  5. All that’s left are having the courage to make that decision, trusting the process, and accepting the result no matter what it is.

So that’s how I handle a tough decision. What about you? What do you do when you feel like you’re in between a rock and a hard place?

October 27th, 2009

Life Lessons from Me Five Years Ago

I’ve been going through old emails, cleaning up years of stuff and happened upon these 11 lessons of wisdom I wrote 5 years ago! If I knew this then, how come I’m still learning them now? Anyway, here are my top 11 life lessons:

1) People will disappoint you even friends. They will never act the way you want them to. That’s okay it’s holding onto thinking that people are perfect that causes disappointment.

2) Life is hard. We need to stop complaining and learn to see obstacles as challenges and unexpected blessings.

3) You will get what you want but not the way you expected it to be. You may ask for patience and then receive a serious challenge to test your patience.

4) Everything you want in life, you all ready have, you just haven’t realized it or don’t know where to look for it.

5) To be happy, stop running towards that which you think will bring you happiness. While you are chasing that dream, you are missing the path of happiness all around. When you get to the goal, you won’t know how you got there, and will never experience the joy of appreciating where you’ve been.

6) You will never get the approval you desire from the people you love the most. That’s okay. You don’t need it. Trust in yourself and who you are and then you will know if you made the right decision.

7) Never put your whole anything into a single person. That’s way too much pressure for one person to carry. Always remember that you are special all ready. That your partner just adds to the mix never takes away or covers your true self. You’re still you and they’re still themselves. Beautiful separate. Beautiful together.

8) Don’t ever try to fit someone into your idealistic mold. It won’t fit. Believe me, the more you force things, the less you will be happy. All it leads to is a lot of frustration and suffering on both parts.

9) If you are doing something you are unhappy about, reach deep within and have the courage to let it go. You deserve happiness like anyone else.

10) People are just people. Don’t let someone have power or control of your self. You are a special individual. Don’t ever give someone the right to take that away from you.

11) Most importantly, live life in love. Be forgiving as you would want to be forgiven for all the things you have done in your life. Remember that we all make mistakes and we all our human. No matter what someone has done to you, hold on to your belief that love is universal, eternal, and can defeat all evil and hatred. Love is the end. It was the beginning and it is the end.

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