Posts tagged ‘How to be happy’

June 24th, 2010

The Nostradamus Effect

What do you think of Nostradamus? Inspiring predictor? Prophet? A guy who caused a big hullabaloo about nothing? Maybe all of the above? Well, I’ve got another confession to make. I’m sort of a believer. Unless it’s just that the History channel’s got power’s of manipulation greater than Luke Skywalker and can make me believe just about anything. It could be. I never believed those signs saying, “The End of the World is Coming” before.

Whatever it is, it’s got me a little freaked. I keep thinking, “Okay I got 2 years! What can I do with 2 years!!” Well actually according to Nostradamus, we actually have until December 21, 2012 so we’ve got little more than that. Time until outer space attacks, we get consumed by volcanoes and tidal waves and some unknown disease gets us all. {Great and I thought the ending of the Oprah show was going to kill me!}

Actually the effect of being scared out of my mind by tonight’s show did wonders to my sense of motivation. Even if you’re not a believer and even if the world won’t end in a few years, we’re still on loan here. I hate to break it to you, but we just don’t know when we’re going to leave this good earth.

Here’s another thing. Maybe being on the threshold of time can work in our favor. Instead of looking at your life as a large, endless playing field, why not shorten the end date and get cracking on all the things you’ve ever wanted to do? Of course, I’m going to help you a little with that.

Here are a few resources to get you in gear. Let the countdown begin!

  1. If you’re not ready for change, do this: Write it down. You don’t have to do anything more than that. Just getting your dreams down on paper starts a weird-I-can’t-really-explain-it process that leads you to your goals. Want evidence? A little less than 10 years ago, I wrote in my journal 10 things I wanted to do before I died (kind of like a bucket list). I was shocked by what I read. I had totally forgotten what I wrote. Maybe my conscious mind forgot I wanted to travel to Europe and live on the mainland, but my subconscious took over and helped me to manifest it into reality.
  2. If you’re ready and willing, do this: Create a plan. As someone who is a lot more right-brain creative than left-brain logical, I have a difficult time with getting down to business. Sure coming up with blog ideas is like taking candy from a baby for me, but give me a puzzle and I’ll stare at it for days and never touch it. Yet, even us right-brainers know the importance of plan making. So I’ve been doing my own research on how to create a business plan. What I’ve come up with is 1) Mind Mapping: That’s something you can do with traditional pen and paper or online. I’ve used both mindmeister and Freemind. They’re both free. If you’re not familiar with mind mapping, basically it’s like clouds of ideas. You start with one then branch out with others. It’s kind of like a free write, free thought, anything goes way to problem solve. A former boss and mentor told me about it and I wished I used it sooner. 2) Google Docs: Create a daily/monthly/yearly task list of things you need to do to get to your goals and find the satisfaction of checking them off when they’re completed.

I just realized that a few of my goals have already came true. Remember when I wrote in this post that a voice in my dream told me, “find your niche. Then follow, find and develop friendships with those who are doing what you want to do and will help support you.” Well, recently I’ve gotten two emails inviting me to a book group and a healthy lifestyle group. Who knows? This may be the people I’ve been hoping for.

Now it’s your turn. What will you do now to meet your dreams halfway?

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CategoryFollowing your dreams, How to | CommentNo Comments »

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May 17th, 2010

Shunning the Negative Peeps

Oprah’s show last week on the book Women, Food and God really affected me. (For a free excerpt see Oprah.com.) Funny that it wasn’t food or God that were shocking, but her emphasis on women and relationships.

There were two things in particular I found worth sharing here:

1. How our obsessions with ______ (food, clothes, money, etc.) affect not just our relationships with our self and others, but our society and the world as a whole. If all of our energy is going on how to fix ourselves (our weight/body), how much less energy are we giving to the world? I realized that maybe the greatest disrespect we are doing to ourselves and the future of our world is by pushing down our emotions and holding back our gifts. It’s a sad disturbing situation that I think every woman, myself included, needs to change for good. Let’s celebrate who we are! Banish our negative thoughts and fully embrace what we have to offer the world. I think as women we have a responsibility to support each other to be better and live more authentic lives, growing closer to who we are meant to be while leaving our former insecure selves behind.

2. Surround yourself with positivity. When Oprah talked about love and relationships, her words of wisdom were so powerful and moving it brought me to tears. She said when someone isn’t happy for you and your successes, it isn’t about you, it is about their own self-loathing. I think when we improve ourselves, there are still uphill battles to fight and one is the reaction you get from those around you. When you succeed you are a mirror that reminds others of what they haven’t accomplished and what they haven’t yet achieved. We need to learn how to get beyond our ego and refocus our attention on what we need to do instead of flailing in the sunshine of someone else’s success.

These are two important, yet difficult things to master. Yet, they are certainly necessary in the pursuit of your dreams. Surround yourself with negativity (like the phrase misery loves company) and you’ll only be as good/happy/successful as those you’re with. Focus on what you’re not good at and what you haven’t accomplished and you’ll sabotage yourself up that ladder.

How do we empower ourselves?

Be kind. Open up to the possibility of hope, love and dreams. Find positive, loving and supportive people in your life. Connect to something bigger than yourself whether it’s god, the universe, your own inner soul. Then ever so slowly, lift yourself up, and find your own path, the path that will take you one step at a time toward the life you were meant to live and the woman you were meant to be.

CategoryFollowing your dreams, Happiness | Comment4 Comments »

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May 10th, 2010

The Single Secret to a Successful Life

You might read the title and blow it off. I mean come on, one secret! One secret to a successful life! There’s no way or is there?

Here’s what I know for sure:

While there are no easy ways to success, there is a simple way. And it’s one thing you can do now that will help you down the road to success.

In the almost year long path that I’ve been on my own pursuit of happiness, I’ve learned a few things.

  1. You can’t trust everybody. I had enough deadbeat clients to learn that the hard way. But it also taught me my next lesson.
  2. I’m responsible for my life. This means that I need to be selective about the people I interact with and invite into both my personal and professional life. Which also leads to #3 and what I consider to be the #1 secret for a successful life.
  3. Confidence! If you don’t feel it, feign it. Why? Because over the last year I realized that you get what you think you deserve. If you feel unworthy of success, of good friendships, a happy marriage, even a working car, then you’ll get exactly what you think you’re worth.

The big ‘aha’ moment for me came when I dug in deep and discovered that what was really holding me back was me. There was a voice that said that I was not good enough as a writer to do it for a living.

The thing that got it from boisterous betrayer to wimpy whisper is understanding that I was creating my destiny. I was tripping over my own path because I believed that I wasn’t good enough to deserve better.

What got me over the hurdle was building up my own sense of self-worth. Reminding myself of how far I’ve come personally and professionally and silencing the inner critic with a larger than life ally.

The difference has been profound.

Just thinking that I deserve everything I desire has gotten me better clients, better pay (in one case, almost 7x’s what I was making at the start) and more opportunities. The best indicator of the change is my writing. Just like the way people can perceive in your body language how you feel about yourself, I think you wear your writing on your sleeve.

One of my friends kept telling me my writing has gotten better recently. While I pondered what changed, I suddenly got it! It was my perception of myself and my abilities that had affected my writing.

While I’m still a work-in-progress, I definitely think that confidence has helped me go from, “I think I’m a writer,” to “Yes I can and Yes I am a writer!” And this single secret to success, I believe can also help you on your own endeavors. Try on a bit of confidence, wear Oprah’s or a mentor, someone you idolize, and see if that doesn’t get you one step closer to your dreams!

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April 15th, 2010

Week #5: Risk

I pulled out a fortune from a cookie a few months ago and it read, “Your courage will reap rewards for you.” It’s a perfect statement to describe this week’s focus of The Joy Diet. In week #4, Ms. Martha had us visualizing our desires, now we have to put our money where our mouth is.

I’ve already been inspired by the Oprah show recently, when Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire, was on. This adventurous dude who is one of the most wealthiest people in the world and has his own private island, believes in going for your dreams and he does so in a way that would make most people blush, then faint. Somehow I think he follows this week’s goal to a tee.

Although I’m not Sir Branson-ready, I do feel in the mood to walk through a few first to get to my dreams. It may be the reason why I turned into Jim Carrey’s character in The Yes Man recently. Saying ‘yes’ to something I normally wouldn’t do.

I agreed to walk around my community selling ads for a local newspaper. While I’m not necessarily (I’ll use Sir Branson’s word) virgin in this area, I don’t get excited about doing it. I don’t think any introvert would. But I said, “Yes!” I took the challenge, walking through 15 shops in 1 afternoon.

I’m not going to lie and tell you my life was forever changed, cause it wasn’t. But I did get something out of it. As I willingly took the role as a salesman for the day, I saw people change how they reacted to me. While most of the people I met were kind, a lot of them (who I’ve interacted before as a consumer) went in hiding-literally not wanting to talk to me or were quick to brush me aside. I learned two things: 1) how to become a better salesman 2) that it really didn’t matter how people perceived me. I was just playing a role. They weren’t rejecting me. They were rejecting what I was selling.

It may sound like common sense, but for someone who makes a living as a freelance writer, getting rejected is a daily, soul-crunching experience. Taking a risk and getting rejected for something less personal, empowered me. I realized that like being a salesman, a writer was just another one of my roles. It wasn’t who I was. It was something I did. And in this business we call life, taking a risk, and risking rejection is the only way we can find success and ultimately happiness.

What’s the next item on my risk list?

  1. Writing a book

I know this one seems kind of wild and crazy. But the good thing is that Martha lets us break up the risk into small steps so it feels less intimidating. For now, I’m going to just research classes on writing books and read other books created by the publisher I’m interested in. Then see what happens next. Hey if I fall and crash and burn, at least you’ll know I gave it my all and tried.

If you really want to find joy and achieve your dreams, you’re going to have to work for it. And this week’s work is all about how much you’re willing to risk.

What are you willing to risk this week?

CategoryFollowing your dreams, Inspirational Stories | CommentNo Comments »

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March 15th, 2010

A Joyful Diet

A joyful diet sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? But as spring approaches, I’m dieting to find out.

First of all, I have to say I’m not a dieting girl. Every time I attempt to go on a diet, it lasts all of 6 hours and then I’m spent. I think the problem is that most diets are all about deprivation. And frankly, I don’t have the time and energy for that.

But JOY?! That I could get into. Especially since the person who wrote it is one of my favorite authors: life coach, O magazine contributor and best-selling author Ms. Martha Beck.

After reading two of her books, I was craving more. More importantly joy is actually something I wouldn’t mind going on a diet for.

So here’s the deal:

There’s 10 tips for Martha Beck’s Joy Diet. I’m going to try it, one a week for the next 10 weeks and see if it brings me more joy.

Are you in?

You can follow along here or get your own book (The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life) and try it with me.

*Haven’t forgot about my BIG surprise yet? Have you? Well stick around because I’m unveiling the green treat this Wednesday, March 17th.

CategoryBook Reviews, Happiness, How to | Comment1 Comment »

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October 27th, 2009

Life Lessons from Me Five Years Ago

I’ve been going through old emails, cleaning up years of stuff and happened upon these 11 lessons of wisdom I wrote 5 years ago! If I knew this then, how come I’m still learning them now? Anyway, here are my top 11 life lessons:

1) People will disappoint you even friends. They will never act the way you want them to. That’s okay it’s holding onto thinking that people are perfect that causes disappointment.

2) Life is hard. We need to stop complaining and learn to see obstacles as challenges and unexpected blessings.

3) You will get what you want but not the way you expected it to be. You may ask for patience and then receive a serious challenge to test your patience.

4) Everything you want in life, you all ready have, you just haven’t realized it or don’t know where to look for it.

5) To be happy, stop running towards that which you think will bring you happiness. While you are chasing that dream, you are missing the path of happiness all around. When you get to the goal, you won’t know how you got there, and will never experience the joy of appreciating where you’ve been.

6) You will never get the approval you desire from the people you love the most. That’s okay. You don’t need it. Trust in yourself and who you are and then you will know if you made the right decision.

7) Never put your whole anything into a single person. That’s way too much pressure for one person to carry. Always remember that you are special all ready. That your partner just adds to the mix never takes away or covers your true self. You’re still you and they’re still themselves. Beautiful separate. Beautiful together.

8) Don’t ever try to fit someone into your idealistic mold. It won’t fit. Believe me, the more you force things, the less you will be happy. All it leads to is a lot of frustration and suffering on both parts.

9) If you are doing something you are unhappy about, reach deep within and have the courage to let it go. You deserve happiness like anyone else.

10) People are just people. Don’t let someone have power or control of your self. You are a special individual. Don’t ever give someone the right to take that away from you.

11) Most importantly, live life in love. Be forgiving as you would want to be forgiven for all the things you have done in your life. Remember that we all make mistakes and we all our human. No matter what someone has done to you, hold on to your belief that love is universal, eternal, and can defeat all evil and hatred. Love is the end. It was the beginning and it is the end.

Tunnel

CategoryHappiness | Comment5 Comments »

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July 27th, 2009

Overcome Fear With Faith and Doubt With Surrender

Fear, a common subject on 2inspired, is spreading like wildfire. Terreece Clarke, from Freelance Writing Gigs wrote about how it affects writing success. Life coach Jaqui Duvall said it was a common obstacle among dream chasers in Successful Dreamers. And now Dr. Oz? 

Oprah’s Radio Show host Dr. Oz interviewed Ariane de Bonvoisin, a change expert. In this short but powerful audio clip, he describes fear as “a change demon that prevents you from making change in your life.” Dr. Oz also says that “fear can be overcome by faith and doubt by surrender.”

Although this 8 min clip deals with change such as quitting smoking or losing weight rather than following your dreams, there is a common thread that unites the two. It is the challenge to get through all of our stuff to get to where we want to be. Ariane explains this as many things including acceptance and surrender of the unknown and having patience to get through the difficult times. This also applies to taking that big leap into living the life of our dreams. When doubt comes knocking, do we answer it with fear or with surrender? The way we answer may predict how likely we are to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Want to learn more? Take a listen to this short audio and be inspired. 

 http://www.oprah.com/media/20090721-radio-dr-oz-change

CategoryInspirational Stories | Comment1 Comment »

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May 30th, 2009

Happy Days Are Here Again!

It took me awhile to get here.  But I finally got it!  The key to happiness in life?  Do what makes you happy.  

Oftentimes, we’re raised by our families, friends, culture, community and society to believe that life is about struggle.  The 80’s slogan, “No pain, no gain!” epitomizes this belief.  Yet, how can we be happy if we’re spending all our time miserable and doing things that deplete rather than fill us?  As I was bike riding with my husband today, enjoying nature and the feeling of the wind on my face, I realized how simple it is, and yet how complicated we make things.  Maybe we’re afraid of being that happy or believe that it’s a mirage tempting us only to disappear when we get close.  Sure there are difficulties in life that I’m not trying to sugar coat but there are always moments in which we can choose joy instead of pain.

So here’s my challenge to you.  I dare you to do something that you truly enjoy whether it’s taking 5 minutes for meditation or an hour massage.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money to do something that feels indulgent.  For me, a night spent writing is a night well spent.  Make it a regular event and schedule it in, and soon you’ll be on a path towards true happiness.  

And for an inspirational story, check out this one from Chicken Soup for the Soul.

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