Posts tagged ‘Being Happy’

May 24th, 2010

Be the Super Hero in Your Own Comic Book Life

As I was driving around today, I thought about how neat it would be if our lives were like the movies. Then upon thinking about it further, I realized our lives are like the movies!

Although you may not realize it, you’re the protagonist in the story of your own life.

There’s tons of obstacles in your way. Villains lurking in every corner. Burning bridges you must avoid and challenges you need to overcome along the way.

So here they are.

I’ve compiled a list of your 5 worst enemies and the strategies you’ll need to battle them and win.

  1. The Party Pooper – Dressed in all black this enemy is as harmless as Eeyore unless you let him get to you. His weapon? His droopy eyes like Puss in Boots in Shrek. Whenever you’re up, he’s down. Combat his sad demeanor by minimizing time with him and never talk to him about your superhero strengths.
  2. The Grey Shadow – Party Pooper’s evil twin sister, the Grey Shadow fights skillfully with her sharp tongue. On days when you feel filled with self-doubt, avoid your archenemy at all cost. She will find your weak spot and dive daggers into your soul. You’ll start to wonder why you even tried to be a super hero in the first place.
  3. Evil Mirror –  Sometimes your worst enemy is the person looking back at you in the mirror. Their weapon? Your insecurities. When Evil Mirror comes lurking, pull out your own weapons: affirmations, positive statements, and your sidekick supportive friend to help.
  4. Big Bully – You leap tall buildings in a single bound. When you get down, Big Bully pushes you and calls you a freak. Never befriend a Big Bully. In fact, the less energy and attention you give him the better. Soon he’ll lose interest and find another super hero to attack.
  5. Two Headed Monster – On some days, he’s your best friend. He compliments your superhero strengths. Makes you feel like the king of the mountain. Then, in one single swoop he finds you when you’re most vulnerable and attacks. The best way to win this battle? Don’t hang around for either. Don’t be dependent on others statements about you. Instead, empower yourself and let those words slide right off your fancy schmancy superhero cape.

These are just 5 of your enemies. There are some that still haven’t revealed themselves to you. The further you go to empower yourself, the more enemies will appear. Be strong! Never forget your mission (to accomplish your dreams) and always remember to take care of your super hero self!

Photo by: the Sofa

May 21st, 2010

Week 10: The Final Chapter (Feasting)

Can you tell I’ve been procrastinating? For 10 weeks, I’ve been diligently (well maybe just being good enough) following Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life. And it’s finally coming to the end! I have to say this is one diet, I’m sad to say goodbye to. It’s been a difficult ride-what with having to do nothing, be truthful, focus on my desires, be creative, take a risk, indulge in treats, have fun, laugh, connect with others and now feast.

Okay maybe it sounds a lot more fun and easy than it was! But all in all the journey was a life-changing one. It’s given me insight into what I really want in my life and the hope that I can achieve it. It’s taught me the importance of indulging in play and in laughing while also being conscious of my self and others. And while doing it saddens me, I must continue on to the last and my favorite part-the feast.

Here’s a story I’ll use to describe this section.

Martha uses a similar story in the book as well. Anyway, 10 years ago I worked at a chocolate shop. At that time, I didn’t like chocolate too much (I know! I can hardly believe it myself being the chocoholic I am today.) At the time, I was not very honest with myself or others for that matter. I actually told the owner I adored chocolate and that I was taking this as a permanent job, not the part-time summer gig I really had in mind.

After working there for a month, I started to develop a craving for chocolate. Maybe it was the aroma of melted cocoa that warmed me up to it or the temptation of being able to grab gourmet chocolate pieces like chocolate covered mint leaves and chocolate covered oranges anytime I wanted to. But whatever it was, I blame my chocoholism to this store.

The funny thing about it was that while working there I actually lost weight!

Why did I refrain from pigging out on any piece of chocolate I could get my hands on? It could have been the mean manager who I think didn’t like me. But more than likely it was because I fully feasted on the experience of being there. The chocolate aroma, the feel of the sweet brown cocoa melting on my fingertips, the spicy ginger flavor mixed with bitter dark chocolate. All of that was more than enough. All my senses were engaged without needing to overindulge on the experience.

This is the main focus of the last chapter. Indulging on things that are filled with beauty, that arouses our senses, that feels like a “feast” helps bring us to joy, more than cash, food, and things alone can do. It’s the pure enjoyment of life that can bring us to the highest levels of happiness and joy.

When I think about my honeymoon, for example, I think of many things. But the moment that stands out most to me?

The chocolate pyramid.

When I say those three words, my husband knows exactly what I’m talking about. It was a rich chocolate dessert put atop a beautiful arrangement of white eggplant drizzled with honey. Sitting in an open restaurant in Santorini, Greece with the sounds of soft Greek music playing, the feel of the warm night, and the simply gorgeous heaven on a plate in front of me. That was real joyous living!

She ends with the feast because it is one of the most important things to remember in being joyful. Sometimes we forget when we get caught up in the busyness of life to simply sit and appreciate the world around us. If you’re feeling that way, get back to feasting. Experience life’s small moments, breathe it in, then sit back and feel the joy!

January 4th, 2010

Life Tasks to Uncover Your Dreams

It’s 2010. Do you know where your dreams are?

As for me, I’ve been stumbling. Faltering like the imperfect soul I am to find peace, inspiration and follow my dreams. In one year, what have I learned?

It takes real work to get to your dreams.

It takes physical work.

The kind that uses your muscles and sweat to get rid of old things. Decluttering. Finally saying sayonara to old letters, sweaters you bought a year ago and never used. Books you tried to finish but could never get past those first few pages. Oh and maybe a bit of exercising too! I spent a few years taking zumba and have literally felt the stress sweat out of me.

It takes mental work too.

Finding happiness and searching for your purpose involves a lot of painful mental work. Digging into the hard stuff like uncovering your greatest flaws, admitting to mistakes and accepting yourself in the process are utterly exhausting. So if you’ve already begun the process, you deserve a medal, or a spa day or a giant cookie. You do. You really do!

It takes seeing outside of the box.

Sometimes on our life paths, we fail to see outside the lines. Why do so when it’s so safe and comfy here? Well for one, life is so much more magical when we open ourselves up to possibilities instead of limitations. What I learned last year was that I could give up the expectation that I had to have a full-time corporate job in order to make a living. Just what if I could do something I truly loved and make money from it? While I’ve also learned that it ain’t easy, I’ve also discovered it’s very possible.

It takes courage.

Oh there are so many reasons not to follow your dreams! There’s money, fear of the unknown, self-doubt, economy, etc. I could go on and on. But you only really need one reason to keep going-fulfillment. I like to think of it as feeling fully filled in love, passion and inspiration. When every ounce of your being is saying, “Yes! This feels right!”

It takes some risk-taking!

You could be happy living a safe life, but happiness is fleeting. A life fulfilled that challenges us to live our highest potential, well that’s a life filled with miracles, magic and authentic living. But it involves lots of risk-taking. I love reading about Walt Disney and how he risked everything to follow his dreams. He didn’t have enough money for food or shelter and yet he gave everything he had to make his passion a reality. Some probably called him crazy. But they would later call him genius.

It takes letting go.

Part of the process is learning how to let go. Letting go of who you were (2009 schmuck) to enable you to be the person you were destined to be (2010 star!). Learn how to let go of relationships, jobs and even environments that are toxic and you’ll be leaving room for the positive, happy you you’ve been waiting for.

What about you?

What things did you discover about yourself this year? Has it helped you get closer to your dreams? Please share!

October 27th, 2009

Life Lessons from Me Five Years Ago

I’ve been going through old emails, cleaning up years of stuff and happened upon these 11 lessons of wisdom I wrote 5 years ago! If I knew this then, how come I’m still learning them now? Anyway, here are my top 11 life lessons:

1) People will disappoint you even friends. They will never act the way you want them to. That’s okay it’s holding onto thinking that people are perfect that causes disappointment.

2) Life is hard. We need to stop complaining and learn to see obstacles as challenges and unexpected blessings.

3) You will get what you want but not the way you expected it to be. You may ask for patience and then receive a serious challenge to test your patience.

4) Everything you want in life, you all ready have, you just haven’t realized it or don’t know where to look for it.

5) To be happy, stop running towards that which you think will bring you happiness. While you are chasing that dream, you are missing the path of happiness all around. When you get to the goal, you won’t know how you got there, and will never experience the joy of appreciating where you’ve been.

6) You will never get the approval you desire from the people you love the most. That’s okay. You don’t need it. Trust in yourself and who you are and then you will know if you made the right decision.

7) Never put your whole anything into a single person. That’s way too much pressure for one person to carry. Always remember that you are special all ready. That your partner just adds to the mix never takes away or covers your true self. You’re still you and they’re still themselves. Beautiful separate. Beautiful together.

8) Don’t ever try to fit someone into your idealistic mold. It won’t fit. Believe me, the more you force things, the less you will be happy. All it leads to is a lot of frustration and suffering on both parts.

9) If you are doing something you are unhappy about, reach deep within and have the courage to let it go. You deserve happiness like anyone else.

10) People are just people. Don’t let someone have power or control of your self. You are a special individual. Don’t ever give someone the right to take that away from you.

11) Most importantly, live life in love. Be forgiving as you would want to be forgiven for all the things you have done in your life. Remember that we all make mistakes and we all our human. No matter what someone has done to you, hold on to your belief that love is universal, eternal, and can defeat all evil and hatred. Love is the end. It was the beginning and it is the end.

Tunnel

May 30th, 2009

Happy Days Are Here Again!

It took me awhile to get here.  But I finally got it!  The key to happiness in life?  Do what makes you happy.  

Oftentimes, we’re raised by our families, friends, culture, community and society to believe that life is about struggle.  The 80’s slogan, “No pain, no gain!” epitomizes this belief.  Yet, how can we be happy if we’re spending all our time miserable and doing things that deplete rather than fill us?  As I was bike riding with my husband today, enjoying nature and the feeling of the wind on my face, I realized how simple it is, and yet how complicated we make things.  Maybe we’re afraid of being that happy or believe that it’s a mirage tempting us only to disappear when we get close.  Sure there are difficulties in life that I’m not trying to sugar coat but there are always moments in which we can choose joy instead of pain.

So here’s my challenge to you.  I dare you to do something that you truly enjoy whether it’s taking 5 minutes for meditation or an hour massage.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money to do something that feels indulgent.  For me, a night spent writing is a night well spent.  Make it a regular event and schedule it in, and soon you’ll be on a path towards true happiness.  

And for an inspirational story, check out this one from Chicken Soup for the Soul.

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