Do you remember the Seinfeld episode where FDR makes a birthday wish and kooky Kramer who is a b-day wish believer, does everything he can to reverse it? It got me thinking…
July 23rd, 2010
My Birthday Wish
March 26th, 2010
Wondering if I fell off the joy wagon?
I haven’t posted about my first week on the joy diet, now have I? In case you’re wondering how it all went, I’ll tell ya.
I might have fell off the wagon a bit during the end of the first week.
Why?!
I know shocking right. I’m not blaming it on time or energy or even boredom. Instead, I went straight to the source:The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life
Chapter 2: TRUTH
“If you can’t get yourself to do Menu Item #1 (nothing), you’re not ready for Menu Item #2.”
Beck says our resistance to doing nothing is a good indication that there is something we’re not wanting to deal with. Truth be told, after I read this chapter and forced myself to sit in nothing, a lot of dark somethings were unearthed. Truth behold waves of worries and a sudden uncovering of past events ran amock. I sat there for 15 minutes thinking, “Wow nothing! What a concept. Why didn’t I think of that!”
Nothing was the answer to a lot of my questions and the best part was that all I had to was sit there and do absolutely nothing. Imagine doing that for a living!
There’s something very healing about doing nothing. I wonder how much time each of us spends running around doing errands, typing on our computers and blackberries and how much energy that drains us and how much farther we get from our own truth.
If I could, I’d thank Ms. Beck for that one chapter alone. (Who I’ve actually met in person by the way and who recently Tweeted me, “Yay! I’m so excited you’re trying my “diet.” It’s still working for me, so my hopes for you are high.Keep me posted!” No joke. Really. I would not joke about this.)
Somehow all the stubborn attachments, fierce denial and false realities I’ve created over the years only to cover up fear and insecurity ended up imprisoning me. When I let certain situations be, I realized that they weren’t as scary as I thought. And the result was freeing.
I dare anyone to try it. Sit for 15 minutes and reflect on something painful you’re going through. I bet it won’t be as scary as you make it. In fact, you might learn that the story you told yourself about the event (a rejection from a publication, a conflict with a friend) was a lot worse than the even itself.
Then, come back here and tell me what you’ve experienced. It’s great to know I’m not in this alone.
March 19th, 2010
Reject the Rejections
“Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood…
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me…”
– From Alanis Morissette’s “So Unsexy”
I was going to post this on my profession writer website, but realized that all of us experience rejection at some time or another, whether we’re writers or not. Just the other day in fact, someone close to me told me that I’m not that good of a writer.
In fact, over the years I’ve collected a list that would give Santa Claus a run for his money. Things like, “You think you’re good, but you’re not. You’re a poor writer. You’re just not that talented.” have once haunted me. And admittedly on occasion it still runs through my head during a particularly difficult day. Sometimes I wonder, “Are they right? Should I just give up?”
Here’s the thing. The more you venture out into the vast open land of possibility, the more you’ll open yourself up to rejection. When you do something outside your comfort zone, it makes others feel nervous and uncomfortable. They’ll start to wonder what’s wrong with them. Hence their reaction: They’ll try to keep you down, so they won’t have to feel uncomfortable around you.
Here’s what I’m not saying. I’m not talking about friends and family who love you and give you constructive feedback or criticism. I think it’s always wise to keep your eyes wide open and your ears as well. There’s always something you can learn from any situation.
What I’m saying is this: Don’t let other people sway you from doing what you feel is primal to you. Whether or not you’re good or bad, talented or not, you can still create the life you want. Give yourself the opportunity to see how far you can go without giving up just because someone told you not to.
Living life safe. Stability and comfort can be good things. But sometimes you need to reach beyond what’s familiar to get to your dreams. If I listened to the hundreds (okay maybe not hundreds) of people who deterred me from following my dreams, I would be safe, unhappy and stagnant. Not the kind of life I had in mind. I wouldn’t have move to California, traveled to Europe or start my own freelance writing business.
Think about it this way. Everyone has to start somewhere. So what if you’re not up to par with the greats, you’re sole purpose in life is to find the path of your dreams. And that path is made for you and only you. To get to where you want to go, you need to start from here. Here’s what I’ve learned: If you keep working at it, you will get better. I can say that my writing has gotten so much better in one year let alone the 20 years since I started.
After reading Walt Disney’s biography in Neil Gabler’s Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination (Vintage)
He had the passion that makes one think he’s going to change the world. It’s funny that in the end, Disney wasn’t doing the animation he started out with. In fact, a lot of his employees couldn’t really say what Disney did. But they knew what he was good at. He was passionate about whatever he put his mind too. And I’ve come to realize that this is key to fulfilling your dreams.
So go ahead. Be obnoxiously confident about yourself and your talent. If you won’t, nobody else will be. And who are you to do it? Well, you’re the one person responsible for changing your world.
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December 20th, 2009
A New Year Towards New Hope
Answer searching. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. When to fight for what you believe and when to throw in the towel. It’s not such an easy decision.
I’ve been blessed in a multitude of ways. But there are still occasions when I run into people who make finding the blessings and inspirations in life a bit harder.
What do you do for example, when you encounter publishers who take your story and run unpaid? Or former clients who yell and scream and call you names?
Guess you let the mad cover you and push you to jump even farther. I sometimes think it was serendipitous that I went to the Disney museum when I did. Seeing how cool and calm Walt Disney was when the people he trusted tried to steal his money, made that path seem a lot more attractive.
Yet, it’s still a difficult decision to make.
How do you make amends with yourself, accept your mistakes, learn from them, and keep going without letting your emotions get in the way?
As 2009 quietly quells in the night, I look up toward 2010. May this year I learn to be more like Disney. Let the weaknesses of others, the disappointment and anger dissipate into the wintery rain. And my hope to find retribution through focusing on the future, hope and possibility of what can be versus what was, yesterday.
August 4th, 2009
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Read This Before You Go After Your Dreams
When I left corporate life almost a month ago, I didn’t realize how different going on my own would be. I did not know for example, how freeing it would be or how I would suddenly feel alive again. I also didn’t know how emotionally challenging and financially straining it could be. I remember a friend telling me something similar about having a baby. She said she knew it would be hard, but was surprised at how hard. In this way, creating your own business or going for your dream job are a lot like having your own baby. It’s a creative endeavor that requires courage, strength, and perseverance. You love it. It’s yours but no one likes to talk about the hard part. So here’s the realistic side of going for your dreams.
- It will test every ounce of courage you have. It will test your faith. And it will force you to face every insecurity and self-doubt you have about your abilities, intentions and passion. Is this REALLY what you want to do? Be prepared because life will ask you this question over and over again with every challenge that comes your way. Think about this every time, you receive a letter of rejection. Think about how much you want it.
- There are a lot of wolves out there. Not everyone out in the world is nice and friendly. When you work at a regular 9 to 5, you deal with difficult people but you know who they are and what to expect. When you go out on your own, the wolves sometimes are disguised and you never know who you’re getting-the nice old lady or the money hungry wolf. Be kind and courteous to everyone and if you don’t receive that in return, look for the nearest exit.
- You’ll lose sight of your goals. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the emotional stuff that comes with following your dreams. The reason? Because it’s personal. What’s not personal are the negative reactions of others, critiques you get, and any seemingly misstep along the way. Remember who you are, why you’re doing this and you will remember what you are doing here in the first place. Use that to counterattack any negativity that comes your way.
- You will question your abilities. When life is good, things seem easy. Smooth sailing doesn’t always last, however. And that’s a good thing. Challenges and bumps in the road are there to force us to grow and get out of our comfort zone. In the corporate world I often thought, “This is too easy and I’m bored!” When you start asking yourself, “Am I really good enough?” You know you’re in the right place.
- You will wonder if you made the right decision to leave. No matter how bad the situation was, you’ll begin to question whether you made the right decision by leaving. The fear of the unknown is often the culprit. All it should take is a trip down memory lane to remind you why you left in the first place. Keep your eyes looking forward and don’t look back. Remember that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Growth exists somewhere between being too comfortable and being uncomfortable. Here’s hoping that no matter where you are, you find a bit of good in the bad and beauty in the ugly. 
Freelance writing, Inspirational Stories, Life | 
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