Posts tagged ‘Joy Diet’

May 21st, 2010

Week 10: The Final Chapter (Feasting)

Can you tell I’ve been procrastinating? For 10 weeks, I’ve been diligently (well maybe just being good enough) following Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life. And it’s finally coming to the end! I have to say this is one diet, I’m sad to say goodbye to. It’s been a difficult ride-what with having to do nothing, be truthful, focus on my desires, be creative, take a risk, indulge in treats, have fun, laugh, connect with others and now feast.

Okay maybe it sounds a lot more fun and easy than it was! But all in all the journey was a life-changing one. It’s given me insight into what I really want in my life and the hope that I can achieve it. It’s taught me the importance of indulging in play and in laughing while also being conscious of my self and others. And while doing it saddens me, I must continue on to the last and my favorite part-the feast.

Here’s a story I’ll use to describe this section.

Martha uses a similar story in the book as well. Anyway, 10 years ago I worked at a chocolate shop. At that time, I didn’t like chocolate too much (I know! I can hardly believe it myself being the chocoholic I am today.) At the time, I was not very honest with myself or others for that matter. I actually told the owner I adored chocolate and that I was taking this as a permanent job, not the part-time summer gig I really had in mind.

After working there for a month, I started to develop a craving for chocolate. Maybe it was the aroma of melted cocoa that warmed me up to it or the temptation of being able to grab gourmet chocolate pieces like chocolate covered mint leaves and chocolate covered oranges anytime I wanted to. But whatever it was, I blame my chocoholism to this store.

The funny thing about it was that while working there I actually lost weight!

Why did I refrain from pigging out on any piece of chocolate I could get my hands on? It could have been the mean manager who I think didn’t like me. But more than likely it was because I fully feasted on the experience of being there. The chocolate aroma, the feel of the sweet brown cocoa melting on my fingertips, the spicy ginger flavor mixed with bitter dark chocolate. All of that was more than enough. All my senses were engaged without needing to overindulge on the experience.

This is the main focus of the last chapter. Indulging on things that are filled with beauty, that arouses our senses, that feels like a “feast” helps bring us to joy, more than cash, food, and things alone can do. It’s the pure enjoyment of life that can bring us to the highest levels of happiness and joy.

When I think about my honeymoon, for example, I think of many things. But the moment that stands out most to me?

The chocolate pyramid.

When I say those three words, my husband knows exactly what I’m talking about. It was a rich chocolate dessert put atop a beautiful arrangement of white eggplant drizzled with honey. Sitting in an open restaurant in Santorini, Greece with the sounds of soft Greek music playing, the feel of the warm night, and the simply gorgeous heaven on a plate in front of me. That was real joyous living!

She ends with the feast because it is one of the most important things to remember in being joyful. Sometimes we forget when we get caught up in the busyness of life to simply sit and appreciate the world around us. If you’re feeling that way, get back to feasting. Experience life’s small moments, breathe it in, then sit back and feel the joy!

April 15th, 2010

Week #5: Risk

I pulled out a fortune from a cookie a few months ago and it read, “Your courage will reap rewards for you.” It’s a perfect statement to describe this week’s focus of The Joy Diet. In week #4, Ms. Martha had us visualizing our desires, now we have to put our money where our mouth is.

I’ve already been inspired by the Oprah show recently, when Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire, was on. This adventurous dude who is one of the most wealthiest people in the world and has his own private island, believes in going for your dreams and he does so in a way that would make most people blush, then faint. Somehow I think he follows this week’s goal to a tee.

Although I’m not Sir Branson-ready, I do feel in the mood to walk through a few first to get to my dreams. It may be the reason why I turned into Jim Carrey’s character in The Yes Man recently. Saying ‘yes’ to something I normally wouldn’t do.

I agreed to walk around my community selling ads for a local newspaper. While I’m not necessarily (I’ll use Sir Branson’s word) virgin in this area, I don’t get excited about doing it. I don’t think any introvert would. But I said, “Yes!” I took the challenge, walking through 15 shops in 1 afternoon.

I’m not going to lie and tell you my life was forever changed, cause it wasn’t. But I did get something out of it. As I willingly took the role as a salesman for the day, I saw people change how they reacted to me. While most of the people I met were kind, a lot of them (who I’ve interacted before as a consumer) went in hiding-literally not wanting to talk to me or were quick to brush me aside. I learned two things: 1) how to become a better salesman 2) that it really didn’t matter how people perceived me. I was just playing a role. They weren’t rejecting me. They were rejecting what I was selling.

It may sound like common sense, but for someone who makes a living as a freelance writer, getting rejected is a daily, soul-crunching experience. Taking a risk and getting rejected for something less personal, empowered me. I realized that like being a salesman, a writer was just another one of my roles. It wasn’t who I was. It was something I did. And in this business we call life, taking a risk, and risking rejection is the only way we can find success and ultimately happiness.

What’s the next item on my risk list?

  1. Writing a book

I know this one seems kind of wild and crazy. But the good thing is that Martha lets us break up the risk into small steps so it feels less intimidating. For now, I’m going to just research classes on writing books and read other books created by the publisher I’m interested in. Then see what happens next. Hey if I fall and crash and burn, at least you’ll know I gave it my all and tried.

If you really want to find joy and achieve your dreams, you’re going to have to work for it. And this week’s work is all about how much you’re willing to risk.

What are you willing to risk this week?

April 12th, 2010

2inspired Inspiration Board

While you’re reading this, I should be in Las Vegas, a place where people risk it big (*a hint to this week’s Joy Diet item). I’ll be posting more about that later in the week.

But today’s inspiration?

It’s the inspiration board. I wrote about it in a front of the magazine article for the May issue of The Writer. And I decided that while everyone else gets organized for the spring season, I’m going to re-envision my dream board. I think it’s a perfect way to keep myself on track, have a visual representation of my goals and stay motivated for the rest of the year. If you’re itching to do your own, you can go there.

As for my board, I’ll share it with you here:

As you can see, topping my list for this month carried over from January is getting tickets to see Oprah at the Oprah Winfrey show, which feels even harder since she’s announced her final season. A house, car, traveling, working on a project with like-minded creative and spiritual people, eating healthily, being financially successful and writing a book also top my tadbit ambitious board (you think?).

How about you? What have you got cookin’ for these next few months?

April 7th, 2010

Joy Diet Week 4: Creativity

Ooooh, my favorite chapter! At least that’s what I was thinking when I turned to page 66, item #4. I’m all about creativity. In fact, I took O magazine’s quiz, “Who am I meant to be?” and scored highest in the category: Striving to be Creative. So forget nothing (chap 1), truth (2) and desire (3), now I would go straight to the head of the class. Creativity? Easy-peasy!

Could someone hit me over the head please? I forgot that I’m reading, “The Joy DIET.” I’m forgetting that bringing in joy means delving deep into your psyche, going past superficiality and shallow happiness, into the real meat that is true, authentic and raw emotion-real joy. Pass the tissue please.

If I had a temporary jolt of insanity, I was quickly reminded that Beck is a genius. Genius because she’s able to twist, shatter and turn my mind upside down. This week isn’t about buddying up with Martha Stewart and creating a spring floral arrangement, it’s about creativity in the sense of bringing life to our desires. Desires (in case you missed week 3) like writing a book, helping inspire others, etc. Or it could be less grand like, “I want to buy a bunny or take a trip to the beach.”

Ms. Beck says to first get past our long-held belief that talent and creativity are inborn, easy feats, that we are 100% responsible for and oftentimes doesn’t work. I L-O-V-E the part where she says this,” I’ve noticed that the biggest difference between wildly successful people and total failures is that the successful people fail more.” Then I think I’ve got a head start!

The next part asks us to ask ourselves how to get there. For example, “How can I write a self-help book?” Then, go crazy writing as much answers that come to mind, the nuttier the better, which is good because I have a mind filled with nutty answers. There were a few jewels in there too though like take a class and ask other authors.

When you’ve reached your limit, Beck says to dig in deeper and gives a bunch of creative (here’s where the mind-boggling started) ways to find more solutions. My all-time favorite is when she asks readers to think of an enemy, list their obnoxious traits and then (to get to your dreams) adopt them. Her thinking is that the reason why certain people really bug us is that they are mirrors reflecting what we haven’t accepted in ourselves. It could be a behavior that we were taught was bad or unacceptable and denying that part of us may be keeping us from getting to our dreams. Wild isn’t it?

At first, I just kind of scratched my head and sat there, mind-boggled and trying to let it all sink in. Then, I thought of someone who drives me crazy and had my ah-ha moment when I realized that selfish people were my pet peeve. And had a even bigger ah-ha when I suddenly got it! My whole life I’ve been taught to be selfless, but what’s been preventing me from following my dreams is a focus on not being selfish. I realized that being selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, according to Dictionary.com it means, “devoted to or caring only for one’s self.” I think there are times when we all need to be selfish. I realized that how else would I get everything I desire if I’m not a little selfish. Funny how that works huh?

There are tons of gems in this chapter, but I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you. I hope you’ll pick up a book and join me. It’s not all hard gut-wrenching parts, there’s a ton of insight, wisdom and fun too!

April 5th, 2010

How I Made My Own Dreams Come True

The # 1 thing people ask me is, “How do you get all those people on your blog?”

What I think they mean is, “You’re not famous. You’re not that special. You work at home all day so how do you get all those inspiring people to take time from their busy schedule to spend time on 2inspired?”

I know. I get it. Because I’m pretty astounded too.

I started blogging because at the time I was quite fed up. I spent most of my life working at jobs that went from, “eh?” to “EEEEEHHHHH!!!.” In other words, the blah jobs and the “I’d rather do anything else than this” job.

After I was officially in my thirties, I decided that I’d rather risk being poor than taking a job I hated. With that, I opened the door to the possibility of writing again.

I think my first stint as a writer was poetry in elementary school. I started creating my own little newspaper where the top events was a leaky pipe or a sunny day. I got involved with our school’s newsletter and “worked” as an editor when computers were big, bulky things with no pictures. In high school, I joined the newspaper staff and surprised myself by winning a journalism scholarship award-one of only a handful in the state.

‘Til today, I still believe that I won solely based on my one strength. No, it’s not my writing skills, but something I share with Ryan Seacrest. It’s my A for effort.

I truly believe the reason why fiction and nonfiction authors, life coaches and past Olympians visit 2inspired is that I have a passion and that passion makes me high on E: E for energy and effort. It’s also on the graciousness of the people who I meet that makes 2inspired possible.

Well, plus, I ask.

Most people don’t believe that if they ask, they might just get what they want. I ask because my crazy desire to inspire others is greater than my fear of being rejected. I’ve experienced a million and a half rejections in my life and I’m still standing. Most of the time, I surprise myself by getting exactly what I ask for.

I think this goes back to Martha Beck’s Joy Diet and desire. Some people are so afraid of disappointment that they would rather hide their wishes in a closet, then lie them out so the world can see them. Maybe I’m just a little less scared of that. That’s all it is really.

If you want to make your dreams come true, don’t wait for someone to hand it over to you. Don’t wait until you feel good enough to deserve it or until you think you’re talented enough. Don’t wait or else time and the world will pass you by. Work today, one foot in front of the other, and your dreams will be that much closer while your fears will be that much farther behind.

If I waited for permission, for a sign or something that says, “Now you’re ready! You’re talented enough so people won’t laugh behind your back and talk about what a fake you are.” I’d be doing the same thing I did for most of my career. Sit back, watch life happen outside my window and let fear take over.

My point is this.

I’m not any more talented than the next person. What I have is a strong desire to make a difference to others, inspire them while I face my own fears and share the experience through my writing.

I just hope you realize that you can do it too. Follow on that path of whatever it is that makes your heart soar. Allow yourself the chance to shine and live out your dreams with wild abandon. Because really. If you don’t do it, who else will make your dreams come true?


March 31st, 2010

Joy Diet Update: Week 3 Desire

Sounds kinda sexy doesn’t it? Well it is!

This week’s challenge is all about identifying your true desire. Beck’s theory is that any strong desire, ache, or thirst that we have are like bread crumb’s left by our soul-little nuggets to help us find our way to our true calling. That path will lead us to our destiny. Pretty cool, I’d say.

The way to get there?

Another 15 minutes of nothingness.

On Oprah yesterday, Raquel Welch spoke words that sounded like gospel to me.

She said, “A moment of silence sometimes is the most scariest thing in the world.”

Amen sister! It’s been an uphill battle for me these last few weeks, but the trek IS getting much easier.

I set the timer, closed my eyes and easily went first to nothingness, second to truth and third to this question, “What do I want most right now?”

I was suddenly flooded with images. First, I saw a book-my book on how to help others reach their dreams. Then, I felt a wave of energy pulsate through me and became swept up in the electricity of something greater than me. I saw myself as a spiritual teacher, with online classes and magazine columns and presentations. In the image, I had a strong, unbreakable spirit and surprising certainty that my life’s purpose was to inspire others to find their own purpose and live the life of their dreams.

A dam broke open.

Instead of any fear of inadequacy or fear itself (the wretched old man that walks around asking me, “Why wish, hope or dream?” since I’ll never get what I want), I  was suddenly free. Free to dream the impossible. My imagination flowed through effortlessly like a dam broke open and with it all my fears washed away and I was suddenly filled with every possibility.

Beck says we grow up learning early not to feel hopeful out of the fear of being disappointed or that wanting something is somehow selfish or hopeless. In reaction, we bury our dreams, lose sight of our true purpose and settle for the safe road. Better to conform and live a life of safety, then to reach out, take a risk and lose everything.

I am surprised that in 15 minutes, Ms. Martha Beck in her delightful book, changed everything for me. Not only did I feel optimistic about my potential and a life not limited by fear, but it also helped get me back on track. During that 15 minutes, I started to visualize every job I have had so far and knew instantly whether they fit in with this new vision or whether it was a job I took for convenience.

Thank you Ms. Beck again for making me shake my head in sheer and utter disbelief!

But I have to ask, where were you when I took that job at Apple?!

March 29th, 2010

We have a Winner!

photo by: ADoseofShipBoy’s

I just wanted to thank Carol McClelland (author of Green Careers For Dummies
and founder of Green Career Central) again for visiting 2inspired last week and for all of you who tuned in, asking great insightful questions and for helping to spread the word. It’s all of you who help make my own inspiring dreams come true.

But this post isn’t about me, it’s all about our winner. So Raechel Conover come on down…Congratulations you won! Hope you love your new Green Careers for Dummies book!

And as for the rest of the week, I’ll be posting on the third week of my joy diet. (If you’re behind and missed week one, click here.)

This week is all about desire. After doing nothing, and uncovering truth, so far I’ve learned that joy is a whole lot of work. It makes sense that some would sacrifice lasting happiness for a temporary fix.

That’s cause to live your life joyfully, you need to live it consciously. That means no more filling your time with stuff (shopping, food, errands, etc.) to avoid feeling _____ (fill-in-the-blank with your own personal emotion). Beck’s forcing me to deal head on with my demons with the ultimate goal of experiencing life to its fullest. It’s reinforcing my past belief that we avoid painful emotions out of fear. And that the fear, like all fear, is a lot worse than the fear itself.

Case in point: Last week I had two fears. Fears so great that I was in anguish the whole night before the day I was expecting fear 1 and fear 2. The next morning I woke up to both fears. The very thing I was worried would happen did. And you know what? It wasn’t even that bad. The day passed and the event became a nonevent. I learned quickly that it’s what we do to avoid the fear (drink, drugs, destruct) that’s tons more harmful than the actual emotion itself.

So anyone with me? Would love to hear about your own personal mission to joy, diet or not.

March 26th, 2010

Wondering if I fell off the joy wagon?

I haven’t posted about my first week on the joy diet, now have I? In case you’re wondering how it all went, I’ll tell ya.

I might have fell off the wagon a bit during the end of the first week.

Why?!

I know shocking right. I’m not blaming it on time or energy or even boredom. Instead, I went straight to the source:The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life.

Chapter 2: TRUTH

“If you can’t get yourself to do Menu Item #1 (nothing), you’re not ready for Menu Item #2.”

Beck says our resistance to doing nothing is a good indication that there is something we’re not wanting to deal with. Truth be told, after I read this chapter and forced myself to sit in nothing, a lot of dark somethings were unearthed. Truth behold waves of worries and a sudden uncovering of past events ran amock. I sat there for 15 minutes thinking, “Wow nothing! What a concept. Why didn’t I think of that!”

Nothing was the answer to a lot of my questions and the best part was that all I had to was sit there and do absolutely nothing. Imagine doing that for a living!

There’s something very healing about doing nothing. I wonder how much time each of us spends running around doing errands, typing on our computers and blackberries and how much energy that drains us and how much farther we get from our own truth.

If I could, I’d thank Ms. Beck for that one chapter alone. (Who I’ve actually met in person by the way and who recently Tweeted me, “Yay! I’m so excited you’re trying my “diet.” It’s still working for me, so my hopes for you are high.Keep me posted!” No joke. Really. I would not joke about this.)

Somehow all the stubborn attachments, fierce denial and false realities I’ve created over the years only to cover up fear and insecurity ended up imprisoning me. When I let certain situations be, I realized that they weren’t as scary as I thought. And the result was freeing.

I dare anyone to try it. Sit for 15 minutes and reflect on something painful you’re going through. I bet it won’t be as scary as you make it. In fact, you might learn that the story you told yourself about the event (a rejection from a publication, a conflict with a friend) was a lot worse than the even itself.

Then, come back here and tell me what you’ve experienced. It’s great to know I’m not in this alone.

March 18th, 2010

Day 3 of the Joy Diet

Well I’ve made it half way through the first week. I’ll admit that this is the easiest diet I’ve been on physically, but the most challenging mentally.

The difference between a joy diet and a food one? I’m not depriving myself of anything, except maybe 15 min of my time.

The hard part? Convincing myself I get to feel joy by doing nothing.

So yesterday, I didn’t make my 10:00 pm appointment with me, myself and I. At this point, I’m laughing at how crazy it is that I can’t fit in a mere 15 minutes of doing nothing into my day. Anyway, I finally found it at 11:45 pm last night.

The honest truth? Even though I’ve had an impressive experience so far, the whole day I was actually dreading it. Now that the novelty of nothing was wearing off, would I still enjoy it or would it be pure silent torture?

The reality. I was working on an article about my dog, talking to my mom to get more information. After I got off the phone with her, I was consumed with guilt. The guilt for not being there when my dog passed. It was a horrible feeling and then worse I thought, “Now I have to go sit in a corner for 15 min and think about nothing!” (Add dramatic sigh here.)

The outcome. Doing nothing couldn’t have came at a better time actually. Sitting in silence, thoughts came flooding to me (as I expected). What I didn’t expect were that the thoughts would be comforting ones. Things like, “You couldn’t have done anything if you were there. She knew you loved her. Things happen for a reason and everything is the way it should be” starting flowing into my mind. Then a peace settled on me. It was a soothing balm that my wounded heart needed. Afterwards I fell into a sea of nothingness where I was neither awake nor asleep.

The bottom line: I might not have felt joy, but I definitely felt peace. Looking forward to trying it again tonight.

March 15th, 2010

A Joyful Diet

A joyful diet sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? But as spring approaches, I’m dieting to find out.

First of all, I have to say I’m not a dieting girl. Every time I attempt to go on a diet, it lasts all of 6 hours and then I’m spent. I think the problem is that most diets are all about deprivation. And frankly, I don’t have the time and energy for that.

But JOY?! That I could get into. Especially since the person who wrote it is one of my favorite authors: life coach, O magazine contributor and best-selling author Ms. Martha Beck.

After reading two of her books, I was craving more. More importantly joy is actually something I wouldn’t mind going on a diet for.

So here’s the deal:

There’s 10 tips for Martha Beck’s Joy Diet. I’m going to try it, one a week for the next 10 weeks and see if it brings me more joy.

Are you in?

You can follow along here or get your own book (The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life) and try it with me.

*Haven’t forgot about my BIG surprise yet? Have you? Well stick around because I’m unveiling the green treat this Wednesday, March 17th.