Posts tagged ‘Self-help’

July 9th, 2010

Super Freak (Super Organized Freak, That Is)

Okay I’ll admit it! One of my weaknesses is that I can get a tad bit disorganized every once in awhile, especially when inspiration hits. I know it can get rather confusing here so I’ve already rearranged things over at my other blog not2shabby (creating a search box for easy searching and a drop down archives list to keep things neat) and for you 2inspired readers, I’m also getting organized just for you.

This means that new readers can go straight to this post for information on specific topics and you oldie, but goodies can search for posts you may have missed. This helps me get organized and helps you find what you need. It’s a win-win situation in all right? *P.S. I’m open to hearing your ideas for how to get 2inspired in better shape. Feel free to email me or leave a comment below with your suggestions.

WARNING: Brace yourself for the onslaught of links ahead!

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May 28th, 2010

A Secret Self-Indulgence Revealed

I have a confession to make. One of my favorite indulgences is diving into old diaries. I flip through pages like I’m reading a best-selling novel, staying up late at night to finish them. Once I grew so desperate and frustrated, I took a pair of scissors and cut open the front cover of one of my diaries because I didn’t have the patience to find the diary key.

Why am I so bonkers over 20 years worth of my own life story?

There’s a jewel in there. It’s the troubled, lost, girl who was trying to find her way through heartbreak, identity-crisis and confusion, or in other words life. When I read about her first love and then break-up, I have compassion there. I want her to succeed. I want her to love herself more than some dumb guy. I want this time to be different. And somehow I keep reading hoping to find that ray of sunshine-the courage, certainty and confidence I’m happy to wear now.

Although I’m usually disappointed and know how this story ends, I still read and reread, hoping to find some nugget of “me.” Maybe this time she’ll do what’s right for her. Maybe this time she’ll realize that she deserves more.

I think about who that girl was. I look through old photographs and see her smile. Think about how beautiful she was and how she didn’t know it.

I know she’s me. But she’s a me I’ve long forgotten. When I reread old diaries, I reconnect with her. I have compassion for her and love her. I’m grateful because it’s her shoes that got me here.

It’s weird and yet so true.

Have you ever walked back in your own shoes?

Thought back to who you used to be and what you used to believe.

One thing that rereading my diaries has taught me is that all so-called problems have happy endings. If you are patient enough and if you are kind to yourself, work hard on being more of you, you’ll get there. I only had a handful of pages to wait until my prayers were eventually answered.

The next time you’re feeling despair, remember how far you’ve already come, how much you’ve already endured. When you turn around and look back, you’ll see that you’ve already climbed that mountain and survived it. You just need to remember and have the courage to meet it once again.

photo via incurable_hippie

January 5th, 2010

Do You Believe In Magic?

[Disclaimer: If you’ve got kids in the room, it may be a good idea to read this later.]

Do you remember when Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy were as real and good as ice-cream? When there was the feeling that anything was possible? When imagination and magic were every bit as real as anything we learned in school.

I have fond memories of those days. Even if one of my aunts did ruin it for me when she let me in on the truth about S.C. It’s why I answered, “Cause it’s magical,” when my cousin asked, “Why do you like Disneyland SO much?!”

What happened to the magic?

Does it still exist today and every day?

Cynics would say no. And I’d have to say so would most people. As we grow out of childhood, we begin to lose that whimsical cloud of possibility and instead grasp on to what we believe is real.

But who are we to know what’s really real?

A few weeks ago, after I wrote this post, I sent an email out to an old friend wishing her the best, hearing that she recently got married. I hadn’t spoken to her in years. Although I didn’t receive any response and did not expect any, I got a weird, random answering machine message that day.

It was a message with one of those mechanical voices. It said, “I’m sorry…” Now I’m 100% positive that it wasn’t from her but it was the apology I needed and the universe, I believe, somehow sent it to me.

Another incident happened recently that made me rethink the possibility of magic in every day life.

My husband and I have been thinking of moving. There was a certain apartment we had in mind. It was bigger than our place now and a little less expensive. The huge plus was that it had a den-the perfect place to work on my freelance writing business.

I was so excited that I started visualizing what the place would look like after we moved in. I envisioned sitting at my desk, looking out the window and imagining all the exciting new opportunities and experiences we’d have there.

You can imagine my disappointment when the apartment manager told me that the place was no longer available. Another renter beat us to the punch, securing the apartment with a deposit. Upon inquiry, I learned that the guy was debating between a 1 and 2 bedroom apartment.

At that point, I was pretty upset. My husband started to focus on other apartments. But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

I started imagining my own reality (albeit a seemingly delusional one). In my fantasy, I envisioned that the other guy decided the 2 bedroom was better for him, which resulted in him canceling the hold on the 1 bedroom apartment. Lastly, I imagined that the apartment managers would reduce the rent price. I painted a pretty highly unlikely situation. One, in which, my husband reacted by giving me a sad, goofy look. I could easily imagine him thinking, “My poor delusional wife.”

Yet, you won’t believe what happened next!

A few days later, the apartment management contacted me. The guy canceled the hold on the apartment, got the 2 bedroom place instead AND they reduced the price!

I was thrilled. Magic, schmagic! Uh-uh. This dream actually came true.

My dear husband’s response?

“How’d you do that?!”

Okay I know I’m no Nostradamus and what happened can hardly be called a miracle. Or could it? I think tiny miracles may be occurring every day. We just have to take the time and notice.

It’s funny what a little hope and faith can do…

How about you? Any stories of every day magic you’ve experienced lately? Please share them here!

December 20th, 2009

A New Year Towards New Hope

Answer searching. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. When to fight for what you believe and when to throw in the towel. It’s not such an easy decision.

I’ve been blessed in a multitude of ways. But there are still occasions when I run into people who make finding the blessings and inspirations in life a bit harder.

What do you do for example, when you encounter publishers who take your story and run unpaid? Or former clients who yell and scream and call you names?

Guess you let the mad cover you and push you to jump even farther. I sometimes think it was serendipitous that I went to the Disney museum when I did. Seeing how cool and calm Walt Disney was when the people he trusted tried to steal his money, made that path seem a lot more attractive.

Yet, it’s still a difficult decision to make.

How do you make amends with yourself, accept your mistakes, learn from them, and keep going without letting your emotions get in the way?

As 2009 quietly quells in the night, I look up toward 2010. May this year I learn to be more like Disney. Let the weaknesses of others, the disappointment and anger dissipate into the wintery rain. And my hope to find retribution through focusing on the future, hope and possibility of what can be versus what was, yesterday.

July 27th, 2009

Overcome Fear With Faith and Doubt With Surrender

Fear, a common subject on 2inspired, is spreading like wildfire. Terreece Clarke, from Freelance Writing Gigs wrote about how it affects writing success. Life coach Jaqui Duvall said it was a common obstacle among dream chasers in Successful Dreamers. And now Dr. Oz? 

Oprah’s Radio Show host Dr. Oz interviewed Ariane de Bonvoisin, a change expert. In this short but powerful audio clip, he describes fear as “a change demon that prevents you from making change in your life.” Dr. Oz also says that “fear can be overcome by faith and doubt by surrender.”

Although this 8 min clip deals with change such as quitting smoking or losing weight rather than following your dreams, there is a common thread that unites the two. It is the challenge to get through all of our stuff to get to where we want to be. Ariane explains this as many things including acceptance and surrender of the unknown and having patience to get through the difficult times. This also applies to taking that big leap into living the life of our dreams. When doubt comes knocking, do we answer it with fear or with surrender? The way we answer may predict how likely we are to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Want to learn more? Take a listen to this short audio and be inspired. 

 http://www.oprah.com/media/20090721-radio-dr-oz-change

June 29th, 2009

Fear of Asking for What You Want

Whether it’s asking for a raise, a job, time off, or time alone, why are we so reluctant to ask for what we really need?  

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  In the past, I debated whether to ask for more pay at a job and the fear nearly paralyzed me.  Although I eventually gained the courage to ask, I wondered why we often avoid asking for what we want?  Is the fear greater than our need?

Fear of Disappointment.  I believe part of of our fear derives from past fears of rejection.  When we were younger, we may have asked for something as small as a bike or as big as time with our parents only to end up being disappointed.  Not asking may be a way to avoid reliving these hurt feelings.

Fear of Rejection.  Whether it reminds us of our first heartbreak or loss of a job, when we ask for what we want and get turned down, it can feel like a rejection of who we are.

Feelings of Unworthiness.  Sometimes we don’t ask because we think we don’t deserve it.  Why should we for example, ask to live the life of our dreams?  Who are we to do it when everyone else  has to suck it up and slave away at their 9 to 5 jobs?

So what do we do when we feel unworthy, fear disappointment or rejection?

Stay positive.  Negative thoughts and ruminating, makes facing your fears even more challenging.  Instead try to tell yourself that getting rejecting by ___ is not a rejection of yourself and that in the end everything will turn out for the better. For affirmations, check out Wayne Dyer’s Motivational Affirmations taken from his book Excuses Begone! at Beliefnet.com.

Make it impersonal.  Sometimes when we avoid asking for what we want, what we’re really afraid of is being judged or criticized for who we are.  Remember that getting turned down for whatever it is (a date, job, etc.) has less do with us and more to with the individual.  They may not like your writing style or your hairstyle, but someone else will.  The best way to deal with this is to not take things personally.

Feeling Worthy.  Remember that you are worthy of asking for what you want.  You were born with the same rights, potential and possibilities as anyone else.  You have every right to ask for what you want in life.  And if you have trouble swallowing this one, think about someone you admire and then ask whether or not they deserve to ask the same question.

The only way to get what we want is to ask for it.  Practicing these steps, learning to trust our instincts, and having faith, will help give us courage to ask the questions that will get us to our dreams.

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