Posts tagged ‘Courage’

July 28th, 2009

Follow the Beat of Your Own Drum

“Walk away from the 97% crowd. Don’t use their excuses. Take charge of your own life.” — Jim Rohn

I’ve never been one to follow the crowd. I remember being in elementary school arguing with my classmates that their crayon drawing of green grass was incorrect because it did not have the brown dirt under it. Anal, I know!

And while my need to follow the beat of my own drum still stays with me today, I now see how doing so can be beneficial in the long run. Great people are the ones that makes waves and are not always the ones who passively ride them. It made me think, maybe being stubborn has its advantages after all. 

In fact, whenever I decide to do something that makes people cringe and cry out, “Why are you doing that?” I kind of think I might be on the right track. I’m not saying of course that I like to be different just for the sake of rebelling. But there is something to be said about the road less travelled. If everyone is doing it, maybe you should ask yourself not why aren’t I doing it too but what else can I do?

If we spend our lives being like everyone else, walking in their shoes, we never get the chance to be the person we were meant to be. We may live a safe life. We may have the support of the majority. But we will always wonder what if. So the next time you are hesitant to stand out from the crowd, remember this. You not only have every right to follow the beat of your own drum but you were born to.

June 9th, 2009

Now What?!

You’ve done it!  You’ve made that big decision, dealt with your feelings of impending fear and doom, and you’ve acted on it.  So now what?!  

In Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star, that period between your old and new self is where “square one” takes place.  So if you’re experiencing even more fear now than before and questioning if you made the right decision, know that you’re on the right path.  Square one is all about figuring out who you are now.  

Now that for example, you’re _____ (Pregnant, married, divorced or unemployed?  Fill in the blank with your change in identity here.), you might feel like you’re going through an identity crisis.  This decision may have caused a change in who you thought you were or who you thought you would become.  

The best way to deal?  

  1. Look forward not behind.  Remind yourself of why you made the decision in the first place and focus on that.
  2. Get protected.  Protect yourself by surrounding yourself with others who have gone through similar circumstances or read about them in books or online.  Find great friends and loved ones who you can rely on to vent during these uncertain times.
  3. Be kind to yourself.  Know that what you’re feeling is normal and realize that you’ll eventually get through it.  Most importantly, it’ll be a whole lot easier, the faster you’re able to accept yourself and your situation.

Carmel

June 3rd, 2009

Facing Your Fears of Failure

I had a nightmare this morning.  I can’t remember the details but the main character in my dream, a monster made up of all hands was clear.  I was frightened by it and when I woke up realized its significance.  It represented failure.  

It got me thinking about the importance that the fear of failure plays in our life.  Sometimes our fear is so strong that it prevents us from fulfilling our dreams and ends up sabotaging our lives.  What can we do to combat our fears so that they don’t end up controlling us?

1.  Awareness.  Being clear about what our fears are is the first step.  Whether you do this through counseling, journal writing, or self-reflection through meditation, achieving an understanding of what it is you’re really afraid of is key.

2.  Befriend fear.  I used to have a reoccurring childhood dream that some kids were chasing me.  I told my dad about it and he said, “Did you know that you can control your dreams?  Next time, before you go to sleep, imagine a better ending and dream something good.”  I did just that and you know what?  That night, I dreamed that the two kids were chasing me to give me an ice cream cone.  Know that while fear is always present in our lives, we can control our reaction to it.  Instead of running away, focus on what the fear is trying to tell you and face it, you never know what gifts you’ll get out of that.  

3. Do your research!  Sometimes fear happens when we don’t have enough information.  Instead of focusing on failure, focus on the things you can do and the steps you can take to get you toward success.

4.  Fail.  We’re so afraid of failing so I say fail!  Yeah that’s right!  We need to get comfortable with failure so that it’s not so scary and so that it has less power over us.  Whether this means trying something you’re not good at, or playing out what would happen if you failed in your mind, taking the shock factor out of failure, may transform that big scary monster into something less intimidating.

5.  Take action!  The best way to deal with fear?  Do something!  If you’re afraid of failing at starting a business, for example, go out and talk to people who have succeeded.  Or are you afraid of failing an exam or presentation?    Then, spend time practicing.  The more time you spend taking action, even if small ones, the less chance you’ll be stuck paralyzed by fear.

May 16th, 2009

Faith Keeps One Foot in Front of the Other

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I had a lightbulb moment when I realized that ALL people regardless of social status and class, go through moments of uncertainty.  

Though it’s easy to get lost in the familiar tunes of “woe is me,” it also doesn’t really suit your cause.  If your cause is to fulfill your dreams.  I just got this a few days ago as I was typing away thinking about how that BIG space in front of me that points to my future was still empty and I still didn’t understand how I would get from where I was standing to where I wanted to be.  I started to fantasize about all of the successful people in my life and the ones on TV and thought about how they were so lucky that they had life figured out and didn’t need to think about these things like me.  And then it hit me!  They still had challenges like everyone else but maybe that mountain in front of them is that much bigger because they had already climbed all those bunny slopes before then.  What a wake up call that was.  

I thought about Oprah’s story the one that she tells of not knowing whether she could make it on TV and the funny moment when she pronounced Canada CON-YA-DA and started laughing live on camera.  That’s when they put her on a morning talking show and in an instance she knew that that’s what she was meant to do.  It reminds me a lot of hiking.  When you see that mountain up ahead, sometimes it’s hard to struggle and put in the effort especially when there are days you doubt whether you’ll make it.  But I realized that all you need to do when your in moments of self-doubt and uncertainty, is do what Finding Nemo’s Dory says, “Just keep swimming…” and somehow that blank empty space in front of you will transform into steps, tiny at first, but then it’ll become clearer and more certain and soon you’ll be there-right at your goal!