Posts tagged ‘Taking a Risk’

April 15th, 2010

Week #5: Risk

I pulled out a fortune from a cookie a few months ago and it read, “Your courage will reap rewards for you.” It’s a perfect statement to describe this week’s focus of The Joy Diet. In week #4, Ms. Martha had us visualizing our desires, now we have to put our money where our mouth is.

I’ve already been inspired by the Oprah show recently, when Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire, was on. This adventurous dude who is one of the most wealthiest people in the world and has his own private island, believes in going for your dreams and he does so in a way that would make most people blush, then faint. Somehow I think he follows this week’s goal to a tee.

Although I’m not Sir Branson-ready, I do feel in the mood to walk through a few first to get to my dreams. It may be the reason why I turned into Jim Carrey’s character in The Yes Man recently. Saying ‘yes’ to something I normally wouldn’t do.

I agreed to walk around my community selling ads for a local newspaper. While I’m not necessarily (I’ll use Sir Branson’s word) virgin in this area, I don’t get excited about doing it. I don’t think any introvert would. But I said, “Yes!” I took the challenge, walking through 15 shops in 1 afternoon.

I’m not going to lie and tell you my life was forever changed, cause it wasn’t. But I did get something out of it. As I willingly took the role as a salesman for the day, I saw people change how they reacted to me. While most of the people I met were kind, a lot of them (who I’ve interacted before as a consumer) went in hiding-literally not wanting to talk to me or were quick to brush me aside. I learned two things: 1) how to become a better salesman 2) that it really didn’t matter how people perceived me. I was just playing a role. They weren’t rejecting me. They were rejecting what I was selling.

It may sound like common sense, but for someone who makes a living as a freelance writer, getting rejected is a daily, soul-crunching experience. Taking a risk and getting rejected for something less personal, empowered me. I realized that like being a salesman, a writer was just another one of my roles. It wasn’t who I was. It was something I did. And in this business we call life, taking a risk, and risking rejection is the only way we can find success and ultimately happiness.

What’s the next item on my risk list?

  1. Writing a book

I know this one seems kind of wild and crazy. But the good thing is that Martha lets us break up the risk into small steps so it feels less intimidating. For now, I’m going to just research classes on writing books and read other books created by the publisher I’m interested in. Then see what happens next. Hey if I fall and crash and burn, at least you’ll know I gave it my all and tried.

If you really want to find joy and achieve your dreams, you’re going to have to work for it. And this week’s work is all about how much you’re willing to risk.

What are you willing to risk this week?

July 6th, 2009

The "I'm Not Worthy" Syndrome

It was made funny by Dana Carvey in SNL’s favorite sketch “Wayne’s World,” but in reality feeling unworthy is anything but funny.  Whether it’s money, success or happiness that we’re fearing, why is it that we often deny ourselves what really want out of the fear that we’re unworthy of it?

Oftentimes when I’m hitting the online job ads, I automatically look for qualifications and skills that I don’t have versus what I do.  Somehow it’s an easy way for me to eliminate jobs.  Yet, even when I find gigs that I’m qualified for I tend to second guess myself.  And what’s left?  Jobs I’m overqualified for.  Sure those are easy to get, but they’re not so fun to maintain.  More importantly, they are most likely unchallenging and unworthy of you, your time, skills and energy.

So what’s the antidote to the I’m not worthy syndrome?  Take a shot of confidence, a dose of courage and a drop of hope and then take a deep breath and do it anyway.  The thing is that even the most successful person you admire didn’t start off that way.  Everyone experiences that moment when they doubt who they are and if they can really make it.  

The difference between them and us?  They took a chance and believed that they could.  So the next time you feel insecure, unsure and unworthy, remember this one thing: pretend that you are already the person you’ve always wanted to be.  Imagine you are successful, amazing, and totally worthy.  Chances are, you already are!

Carmel

June 23rd, 2009

Creating a Soundtrack for Your Life

Did you ever watch Ally McBeal?  Well I was a big fan for its humorous and quirky characters and I loved watching Ally’s drama play out in creative, fantasies that reminded me of being a kid.  

What has stayed with me long after the series ended in 2002 is how her therapist played by Tracey Ullman, asked her to choose a theme song representing her life.  I’ll never forget seeing Ally dance in the street to, “I Know Something About Love.”  It’s a reminder to me about the importance music plays in our life.

When life gets you down, when your muse is on hiatus, or when you just need a boost, do you have a soundtrack ready to lift you up?  

For me, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I can’t see past this week, Michelle Branch’s, “If I Just Breathe” always fills me.  It particularly makes me think of one of my favorite Sex in the City episodes. If you’re a fan like me, you know Season 6, Episode 82 “The Catch” where Carrie swings on the trapeze and falls right into the safety net.  

Something about the lyrics and seeing her smile, helps to remind me that sometimes even when there seems to be nothing there to save us in life, if we just take that giant leap, our own safety net will be ready and waiting to catch us if and when we fall.  

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yb_RXJG0FU&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1]
What about you?  Got a tune you listen to? Share them here.

June 9th, 2009

Now What?!

You’ve done it!  You’ve made that big decision, dealt with your feelings of impending fear and doom, and you’ve acted on it.  So now what?!  

In Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star, that period between your old and new self is where “square one” takes place.  So if you’re experiencing even more fear now than before and questioning if you made the right decision, know that you’re on the right path.  Square one is all about figuring out who you are now.  

Now that for example, you’re _____ (Pregnant, married, divorced or unemployed?  Fill in the blank with your change in identity here.), you might feel like you’re going through an identity crisis.  This decision may have caused a change in who you thought you were or who you thought you would become.  

The best way to deal?  

  1. Look forward not behind.  Remind yourself of why you made the decision in the first place and focus on that.
  2. Get protected.  Protect yourself by surrounding yourself with others who have gone through similar circumstances or read about them in books or online.  Find great friends and loved ones who you can rely on to vent during these uncertain times.
  3. Be kind to yourself.  Know that what you’re feeling is normal and realize that you’ll eventually get through it.  Most importantly, it’ll be a whole lot easier, the faster you’re able to accept yourself and your situation.

Carmel

May 11th, 2009

Riding the Roller Coaster of Life

DSC04751I was off on another mini adventure this weekend, and this time it was with my favorite mouse.  Yes me and the hubs headed to one of our favorite destinations, Disneyland, for the upteenth time.  Though we had tons of fun riding my all time faves like Pirates and Big Thunder, it was a different kind of magic that befell me and that inspires me to write this entry.

It all starts with my love of roller coasters.  Let’s just say though I can’t get enough of them, they scare me to death.  Even though I’ve ridden Matterhorn and Big Thunder Mountain a hundred times, I always get stricken with fear right before I get on.  My husband thinks it’s funny that, for example, I always look down when approaching the gigantic mechanical snake in Indiana Jones because I’m too scared to look at it, or that I get so nervous before any ride even though I’ve been on it a thousand times.  But here’s what’s so magical about it.  I realized that these “rides” were symbolic of CHANGE in my life.  Right before I get on, there’s a lot of waiting which leaves time for anticipation.  And questions such as, “Can I handle this?  What if I don’t like it?” make my palms sweat and my heart beat faster.  I start to question whether or not I’m prepared for it.  Then, I began to doubt myself.  Wouldn’t it be easier, for example, if I just stuck with something safe like, “It’s a Small World”?  Sure, it may be a big bore, but at least I know what I’m in for.  Yet, though there are enough excuses not to try, there’s only one reason why you should.  Because life isn’t supposed to be about predictability and safety.  Life is about living.  It is hard and it is challenging but it is meant to be fully lived.

And so in the end, I always take the plunge.  Although I’m afraid of the challenge, I can’t risk what I’d be missing.  And the result?  Well it’s a lot like life.  You feel the fear and adrenaline as you climb, but when you let go and move with the flow, it produces the most awesome kind of ride.  The kind where you feel alive.  While I was racing through the dark in sharp turns and unexpected dips, I screamed until my voice was hoarse but I was laughing at the same time, and I realized that this joy I was experiencing was not just the magic of Disney’s Magic Kingdom but that it was also about that magical little gift that we call life.

April 27th, 2009

Taking the Big Leap

John and Sherry did it when they decided to go from advertising copywriters of a well-known ad agency to Sherry working full-time on their delicious blog This Young House.  David Wroblewski nailed it when he went from successful software programmer to first time best-selling novelist of The Story of Edgar Sawtelle.  What do they have in common?  They took that big leap into the world of the unknown.  

At every fork in the road, we have two choices: we can either take the easy road and save our dreams for a rainy day or we can venture out even before we feel ready to meet fear head on and take that leap.  Before I started writing again, I thought that I had to wait for something, for permission, a sign, anything, to make sure I was on the right path.  What I learned was that to do something you want to do…you actually have to do it!  What a concept.  The difficult part, however, is to deal with the fears that starts to come up when you want your dream to be more than something that happens when you’re asleep.  Questions like, “Will I be good enough?” start to creep up.  Right now, I’m working on an article that hopefully will get published.  It’s exciting yet scary.  It’s easier to stay where you are then to take that big leap into the unknown.  But whenever I get to that scary place, I remember that millions of people have already done what I’m doing, and they survived…even better than that is that they lived!