I don’t know about you, but I’m not perfect. In fact, I’m far from it. You’ll probably see misspellings and grammar errors here and there. And I’ll admit that some of my posts were 100% mistakes on my part.
I’m pretty ecstatic about it.
And nope I’m not a masochist either.
I’ve just learned something important-you may say life changing-about mistakes over the years.
They are good things!
In fact, I’m almost too thrilled when another error has taken place.
Sometimes light begets dark, and hardship, loss and heartbreak brings hope, healing and inspiration. My guest blogger today, Margarita Tartakovsky, shares her wisdom on transforming pain and difficulty into courage and inspiration. Thanks so much Margarita!
Both of my blogs were born when my dad died.
I had always wanted to have my own body image blog, but as a flawed perfectionist – flawed because I’m not a perfectionist about everything; you should see my desk right now – I did a lot of thinking before launching one. Like two years of thinking. I did launch one, which had a title, tagline and about page. But that was as far as I got. Fast forward to this summer, after I’d written for about a year for Psych Central’s World of Psychology blog, I decided to send my blog proposal to the boss and give it a shot.
And, in November of 2009, Weightless was born. My second blog, Self-ish, had a bit of a rockier start. More like an elevator. Up went a post. Down went my motivation – with months in between posts. And so this continued, until the WordCount Blogathon, when I just decided to go for it again and just write.
So how does inspiration come from grief? Honestly, I’m not sure. I just know that I desperately wanted to distract myself and cope with something I had no control over. Working – healthy or not – was my way of dealing with what was happening and what eventually did happen.
When my dad first got sick, we figured it was like his usual once-a-year pneumonia. He’d go to the doctor, take his medicine, and promptly get better. We never thought, “What if we’d be planning his funeral a few months later?”
My what-ifs before my father’s death were of the not-good-enough kind. They weren’t “What if I get that great gig,” or “What if I become a truly successful freelancer.” Nope. They were mostly negative and perfectionism-prone. In fact, I’d rattle off a list of what-ifs like a robot.
Today, I try to work on my what-ifs because here’s the thing about them: While it’s good to prepare for the worst possible situation – like trying to plan for potential problems when starting your own business – truly expecting these what-ifs can crush creativity and inspiration. It feeds anxiety, while it starves movement.
And, no matter how many what-ifs we can come up with, we’re no fortune-tellers; we can’t forecast the future. And that’s OK.
Many of my planning propensities, however, vanished when something I never expected to happen did.
Instead, I started living more in the moment – where I’m pretty sure happiness resides. Where you smell the smells. Where you observe your surroundings. Where you breathe in the air. Where you notice the little – but equally beautiful – things. And where you can find the good stuff, like inspiration.
Margarita Tartakovsky has a MS in Clinical Psychology from Texas A&M University. She is a beautiful blogger who writes Weightless for Psych Central and has her own blog on self-improvement called Self-ish.
How about ending a long week with fun, inspiring links to get you motivated for the next week?
You might look down on me when I tell you that I skip the evening news every night. For me it’s a personal decision. I cringe when I hear someone’s been murdered, or the economy’s not doing well, or a host of other negative things the media wants to report that I have no control over. Why not read about the wonderful things going on in the world instead?
For inspirational stories, positive & good news such as the story about how rescued dieting hedgehogs were returned to the wild, turn to Optimist World.
For real happy news, like Suze Orman speaking about how better health can lead to better finances, turn to Happy News.
For positive human interest stories like how one woman helped her neighbor by donating her kidney, turn to the Good News Gazette.
For good news now, like stories on how power ball winners of $200,000 tipped the clerk $740 as a thank you, check out GNN.
Successful Dreamer Bonnie St. John talked to me about overcoming abuse, divorce and disability and rising above them to eventually winning an Olympic silver and bronze medal, becoming a well-known author and motivational speaker.
I still also love these past inspiring links and go to them regularly when I’m in dire need of inspiration.
These dogs from Greece broke my heart and continues to weigh on me. I still think about them every once in awhile, wondering if they’re okay. While I have yet to find an organization to donate to, I did find a few sites and would be wonderful if anyone knows of organizations that do so.
I’ll leave you with one last post. This one’s on the various stages of dreaming. What stage are you on?
The last episode of one of my favorite TV shows “Scrubs” came to its final end recently. I was oh so sad to see this comedy show say its good-byes and it was a reminder to me about how hard it is to let things go. And it doesn’t have to be the big goodbyes that are the hardest. Whether we are saying goodbye to a TV show or a friend, ends are hard because it is an awakening of consciousness that life is short with its own inevitable finale. Some of us avoid ends like the plague by resorting to isolation, not connecting with others, or just by resisting change. I know I’ve been guilty of all three at least once in my life. So how do we learn to accept endings in the most graceful, beneficial way possible? By first grieving the lost of whatever that end brings. Whether it is a saying goodbye to your single self or to your married one, it’s important to fully respect what that ending means to you and represents in your life. The main thing to know is that change will come no matter how hard we try to avoid it. But when we can have the courage to accept it, that’s when we gain the most benefit for ourselves and for others.
The best thing about endings? There’s always a new beginning around the corner. Saying goodbye to your older self, means that there is a new you waiting to bloom. And isn’t that what self-growth is all about? Facing the tough growing pains in order to be a stronger, more authentic you? Though no one voluntarily wants to feel pain, it’s comforting to know that through dealing with it, there is a beautiful light at the dark end of the tunnel. And it’s called hope. Hope for being a better, stronger, more compassionate and authentic you. It’s a lot like the quote by Robertson Davies that I received today from Beliefnet.com,
“Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.”
I had a lightbulb moment when I realized that ALL people regardless of social status and class, go through moments of uncertainty.
Though it’s easy to get lost in the familiar tunes of “woe is me,” it also doesn’t really suit your cause. If your cause is to fulfill your dreams. I just got this a few days ago as I was typing away thinking about how that BIG space in front of me that points to my future was still empty and I still didn’t understand how I would get from where I was standing to where I wanted to be. I started to fantasize about all of the successful people in my life and the ones on TV and thought about how they were so lucky that they had life figured out and didn’t need to think about these things like me. And then it hit me! They still had challenges like everyone else but maybe that mountain in front of them is that much bigger because they had already climbed all those bunny slopes before then. What a wake up call that was.
I thought about Oprah’s story the one that she tells of not knowing whether she could make it on TV and the funny moment when she pronounced Canada CON-YA-DA and started laughing live on camera. That’s when they put her on a morning talking show and in an instance she knew that that’s what she was meant to do. It reminds me a lot of hiking. When you see that mountain up ahead, sometimes it’s hard to struggle and put in the effort especially when there are days you doubt whether you’ll make it. But I realized that all you need to do when your in moments of self-doubt and uncertainty, is do what Finding Nemo’s Dory says, “Just keep swimming…” and somehow that blank empty space in front of you will transform into steps, tiny at first, but then it’ll become clearer and more certain and soon you’ll be there-right at your goal!
Facing Fears, Following your dreams, How to, Inspirational Stories | 
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When the stressors of day to day life begin to take its toll on me, I know it’s time for me to go on an adventure. Whether it’s by taking a hike out in nature, meditating, getting lost in a good book, or by exploring a new interest, I believe that it’s vitally important to my health, to make fun a priority.
When you put yourself first and engage in an activity that interest you, it brings new light, perspective and creativity into your daily life. Solutions to old problems may come to the surface since focusing your energy in a different direction, makes room for and attracts new ideas into your life. For example, I took a one day, three hour course in interior design. What that short course taught me was how to declutter, organize, set goals and create a plan of action before inviting anything new in your home. That design specific information also could be applied in a broad way to life. It’s given me a focus and a realistic perspective of how to bring about positive change. I need, for example, to be clear about what it is I actually want, organize my thoughts, and then create steps to ways to get there. It has also given me insight to the ways we declutter our homes and our lives in order to fill empty spaces-perhaps out of fear and lack of control of it ever being filled the way that we want them to.
The next time you are feeling out of sorts, take a little time to focus on an interest or hobby you’ve always wanted to take up. Then, have the courage to pursue it. Like the effects of that pebble thrown in the river, you never know how that small, seemingly insignificant action could change your life.
